at the end of my rope w/ pee pee accidents (age 4) - Page 2

[hakeber]

DS started doing something similar at about 4.5. After almost a year of dry nights he suddenly started wetting the bed again, not occassionally but every night. I was really confused, and annoyed. I did have him help clean up, even showed him how to load the washing machine, wipe down the rubber sheet and put on dry sheets. None of this helped.

Then I decided to start a sticker chart. I made a grid and said if you make it a full week without peeing the bed you can choose where to go on Saturday, anywhere you want for the whole afternoon. He made it through that week, and three more weeks, and then it just faded away. We stopped charting it and he stopped counting and he has not had an accident since.

It does sound like this is a stress related issue, but he most likely does not have the words or self-awareness to deal with it from that angle.

I know how frustrating this can be.

[Bisou]

My son potty trained pretty late, and I think it's harder for boys.

A few thoughts. . . . .

1) Is he at a new school where he might feel embarassed about using the potty?

2) Not to scare you, but wetting pants can sometimes be a sign of sexual abuse in kids. Have you ruled out all of those kinds of possibilities or other things that might cause emotional/psychological distress?

3) I didn't read all of the postings, but if you haven't done so, I would definitely check with a doctor. My friend's son was having bathroom problems at a late age (6-7) and they were at their wit's end. They finally found out that he had a nerve problem in his spine causing the peeing/pooping his pants, and he had completely no control over it. He ended up having to have spinal surgery to correct the problem.

4) I would REALLY try not to get angry/frustrated about it. Some people mentioned being kind of strict/harsh with him about being a big boy and having to use the potty. I wouldn't recommend that route. What if it's really completely out of his control? Being angry at him will only cause him more distress, which could compound the problem. I also don't really recommend making a child clean up after himself/herself. I think that's shaming. Our daycare regulations in Oregon prohibit making a child clean up after a potty accident for just that reason.

I hope you are able to find a solution for him. I am sure it's hard on you both! I agree with the other posters who said to get him to the doctor ASAP to make sure there's nothing to be concerned about. What if the poor guy has an infection?

Hugs,
Bisou

[provocativa]

here is the feingold website: http://www.feingold.org/overview.php and accidents are definitely a symptom. if you go to the allergies section here, and search 'pee accidents' you will see that they are a symptom of many food intolerances, such as intolerance to salicylates. fyi we are intolerant to wheat, and lupus is listed as a gluten-associated medical condition, so you may have familial tendencies towards food intolerance issues.