15yo DD has an awesome friend whom we love. She's never had a close friend like this and she feels so heard and seen by a peer. It's wonderful.
As I said, we love this young lady and are growing more and more concerned about what is going on with her parents.
DD came to me furious and in tears about how selfish she feels her friend's parents are. I know that things can be distorted by teens but I have seen enough first hand to concern me.
The parents will not provide her with a bike helmet even though they require she ride her bike to school. This is roughly a 30-45 minute ride.
The school has the kids do a number of group/partner projects. Several times now when the girls have gone to the friend's house to do homework, the mom left the 2yo sister with them to babysit for hours....not just running to the store. The mother doesn't carry a cell phone and has on a number of occasions not told them where she is going.
I have stopped over there twice to bring something DD needed for a project and found the girls not only babysitting but cleaning up a kitchen that had at least 4 days of filth. Homework happens in between these responsibilities. I am a very lazy housekeeper and to have me recoil at the state of a house means it's bad. The whole house was not just messy but filthy!
Now, I'm all for kids pitching in but seriously, this is over the top. I have told my DD when they have a project, to do it here. Our house is closer.
Well last week they had a project that needed to be done quickly because they were going a class trip the day after and it's due when they return.
I said, sure, come over here. She can even stay the night.
She couldn't because she had to get home to babysit AND care for her grandfather who's had a stroke while mom went shopping for a belly dancing costume.
Seriously.
Grandpa doesn't live with them but they have him over for dinner sometimes.
The girls had to work on the project late that night. DD tells me her friend often doesn't have her homework done and is struggling to get it done early in the morning before school and in between classes.
I know her. She's a very serious student. Does not blow stuff off.
Mom is SAH. Dad is running a small business. He works both from home and an office.
DD is asking me what we can do.
None of my ideas are ideal. I fear they'll backfire. I also know I've been through some rough patches as a parent and I don't want to humiliate them.
Maybe objectivity will help.
What would you ladies do?
As I said, we love this young lady and are growing more and more concerned about what is going on with her parents.
DD came to me furious and in tears about how selfish she feels her friend's parents are. I know that things can be distorted by teens but I have seen enough first hand to concern me.
The parents will not provide her with a bike helmet even though they require she ride her bike to school. This is roughly a 30-45 minute ride.
The school has the kids do a number of group/partner projects. Several times now when the girls have gone to the friend's house to do homework, the mom left the 2yo sister with them to babysit for hours....not just running to the store. The mother doesn't carry a cell phone and has on a number of occasions not told them where she is going.
I have stopped over there twice to bring something DD needed for a project and found the girls not only babysitting but cleaning up a kitchen that had at least 4 days of filth. Homework happens in between these responsibilities. I am a very lazy housekeeper and to have me recoil at the state of a house means it's bad. The whole house was not just messy but filthy!
Now, I'm all for kids pitching in but seriously, this is over the top. I have told my DD when they have a project, to do it here. Our house is closer.
Well last week they had a project that needed to be done quickly because they were going a class trip the day after and it's due when they return.
I said, sure, come over here. She can even stay the night.
She couldn't because she had to get home to babysit AND care for her grandfather who's had a stroke while mom went shopping for a belly dancing costume.
Seriously.
Grandpa doesn't live with them but they have him over for dinner sometimes.
The girls had to work on the project late that night. DD tells me her friend often doesn't have her homework done and is struggling to get it done early in the morning before school and in between classes.
I know her. She's a very serious student. Does not blow stuff off.
Mom is SAH. Dad is running a small business. He works both from home and an office.
DD is asking me what we can do.
None of my ideas are ideal. I fear they'll backfire. I also know I've been through some rough patches as a parent and I don't want to humiliate them.
Maybe objectivity will help.
What would you ladies do?
