Permission Slips, etc.

[greenemami]

Just curious...dsd asked me to sign a permission slip for a school field trip today. I deferred to having dad sign it since I am pretty sure my signature isn't really valid-her dad and I are not legally married. But then I got to thinking and I wondered if I would *ever* be able to sign things like that if we were to get married. Anyone know? It's not a huge deal really, but I do tend to be the one dealing with the "paperwork" (I wrote the check and filled out the form) so it would be an added convience if I could.

I do sign the homework book etc. kind of things, but I assumed that the permission slip needed to be treated more as a "legal document" in that the school would need proof that dsd was given permission by one of her legal parents should something happen on the trip.

[FireFrog]

Is the mother in the picture? If so, then my answer would be no. As the bio. mother myself, I would not be okay with the step-mother signing a permission slip. That would be strictly me or the dad.

Having said that, it would really depend upon the relationship you have with each other and what the actual custody arrangements are. In addition, are you on the emergency card filed with the school? All of these things are part of the picture.

[PoetryLover]

Interesting question. My DSD will be moving in with us soon and her mom will be states away. DH sometimes travels on business and there may be times I have to sign the permission slips. Of course, we're homeshcooling her in the beginning. I guess I'm thinking if she ever decides to return to public school.

[shanniesue2]

IME as a teacher, schools need the parent/legal guardian permission on those kinds of things. I have been told by admins in the past that we cannot accept signatures of step parents on those kinds of things... it's a legal liability thing.

[Attached2Elijah]

Actually, if she lives with you more then 50% of the time, yes you are allowed to sign it as you would be considered a guardian. However, if she does not live with you at least 50%, no, you have no legal right to sign legal documents.

I am unable to sign things for my step-children, however, when I lived with my father, my step-mother was able to sign things for me for this reason.

[JBaxter]

DH has signed my name with permission. I forgot one morning and he took DS2 to school. He called me and said can I sign this I said yes sign my name. "I" gave permission.

[greenemami]

Thanks everyone for your responses!

We do not have her 50% of the time-more like 35-40%, though dp has shared legal custody.

I would be signing with dp's full knowledge and consent-I just happened to be the one home at the time

The field trip is taking place during our time with dsd.

Dsd's mom wouldn't care if I signed versus dp signing (since it was during our time and therefore our decision if she went), so that wasn't the issue. I was wondering more about the legal aspect in terms of whether the school would be held liable for not getting a biological parent's signature, which a pp answered. Thanks for the information, very interesting! Kind of stinks to think that her stepdad can sign things since she lives with him more than 50% of the time, but I can't (assuming we were married).

Oh, and yes, I am on the emergency contact/pickup list for school, if that makes a difference.

[Smithie]

Since you know mom won't have an issue with it, I'd just forge your DP's signature whenever you feel like it (on permission slips! not on checks or contracts or anything like that!) I seriously doubt that permission slips are being closely scrutinized at school.

[mizliz72]

SD's birth mom is deceased, and she lives with SO and I full-time, so I guess my situation is different, but I still don't feel like, legally, I have much "right" unless SO gives it to me. He puts me down as a guardian for things and when we filled out paperwork for school this year, he had me sign and print my name as another parent/guardian on everything. They also have my info as an emergency contact and a person who can pick her up from school, just like her grandparents. I get emails from the teacher and from the head of school, but again, so do the grandparents since SO signed them up too, and I go to parent/teacher conferences and back-to-school nights. Everyone knows I'm her step-mom and only mom. However, all that being said, legally I am not listed in his will as her legal guardian should anything happen to him (he needs to change that since the friend who is listed moved away several years ago, didn't keep in touch, and SD would not even know who the hell she is) and so I'm not sure what kind of real legal rights I have.

[pinksprklybarefoot]

I sign things like that all of the time. She does live with us 50% of the time.

Like the PP said, no one really looks at the signatures. In fact, at DSD's school, they do a blanket permission slip at the beginning of the year to avoid having to get so many signatures on pieces of paper from parents.

[VocalMinority]

I sign stuff for my step-son all the time. However:

* I've never had anyone challenge it (so I'm not sure what the outcome of such a challenge would be...)

* My husband has sole custody. I know that doesn't mean I have custody, but I do think it means (legally) that he can authorize me to sign stuff for his kid, without concerning himself with whether his ex-wife would concur.

* I have the same last name as DSS, so people who don't know better assume I'm his mother. Moreover, I have the same first initial as my husband and we both tend to sign things "A. Lastname" So perhaps some people assume it's his signature.

Sounds like your situation's a little different and the key question would be, how hostile is the mom? That's the only likely reason your signature would be challenged.

[greenemami]

Thanks again-
Nope, there isn't really any 'hostility" between dsd's mom and I. I'm sure she would be annoyed if I (or dp) signed a permission slip for something on her time, but I am nearly positive she wouldn't care if I signed things for our time.

My signature is pretty much a scribble anyway, so I guess the school wouldn't really know who was signing it anyway! Dp and I do have the same last initial, so I will just try to make that part legible, lol! I think if it came down to it and I was the only one available, I will just sign, but usually dp is available so it is not a huge deal to have him sign anyway, as I said.

[LionessMom]

dh has sole custody of DSD and the school knows i am the SAHP so they would have let me anyways, but just to cover everything i had DH write a letter saying that talking to me is the same as talking to him and that my signature is the same os his etc. that i have all rights to make medical decisions, school decisions, sign paperwork etc. then he notarized it and we gave it to the school, the doctor, everyone. to keep on file. he has no time to do these things and trusts me completely. they were all appreciative of the note. it makes it more legal.

[JustVanessa]

My dh signs ds's school stuff if he needs to, but we have full custody and ex only has visitation on weekends. I don't even know if ex knows that Kev signs stuff.....guess I should bring it up with him, I don't think he would mind.

[Magpie30]

DH signed my DD's forms before we were married...he was on the list of people who could pick her up from school, he would have lunch with her at school once a month, he was even in the PTA and a room volunteer...nobody checked paperwork at the door...

Granted, DD's dad lives on the other side of the country, and has minimal involvement, but still...I would think it would be fine.

[Petie1104]

We actually got a special power of attorney for me so that it wouldn't be an issue. So now, while dss is with us, I am allowed to handle medical, school, and legal issues involving dss. Of course, we informed dss's mom that we were doing this and she is all on board with it since dh tends to travel for work alot. But, this allowed us to avoid the question of whether I could sign school papers, take him to the doctors, or even jdeal with any issues if he were arrested or something of that nature. It does specifically state that any issue that arises I have to inform one of the parents within something like 24 hours. I think that is in there in case he is hospitalized or something of that nature.

[LittleBlessings]

Originally Posted by Petie1104

We actually got a special power of attorney for me so that it wouldn't be an issue. So now, while dss is with us, I am allowed to handle medical, school, and legal issues involving dss. Of course, we informed dss's mom that we were doing this and she is all on board with it since dh tends to travel for work alot. But, this allowed us to avoid the question of whether I could sign school papers, take him to the doctors, or even jdeal with any issues if he were arrested or something of that nature. It does specifically state that any issue that arises I have to inform one of the parents within something like 24 hours. I think that is in there in case he is hospitalized or something of that nature.

I find this interesting. I have never heard of special power of attorney. Thank you for posting that

[Petie1104]

A special power of attorney is called just that. A durable power of attorney is a type of spec. poa. I'm sure every one has heard of those. But, with a special power of attorney, you can specifically state what you want the person to have control over and in what circumstances they can exercise that control. For instance, I can say that I want you to be able to sell my car, but ONLY have the ability to sell it, you don't have access to my bank accounts etc. A full power of attorney is what most people think of when they hear the phrase "power of attorney" and it is scary, at this point the person can buy a car in your name with your bank account.

It's amazing how the Army is so good at educating us on some things and leaves us totally in the dark on others. Everything here I learned off of AFN (Armed Forces Network) when we were stationed in Germany. They can't have commercials, so they put these little informative messages up instead.