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What to do during a meltdown?

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
I need advice please! Just this week, my 11.5 month old has started the meltdowns. For example, during bedtime story time, he wants to get up and play. After story time, we always go around the house saying goodnight to things. Again, he wanted to get down and play. (I'm holding him while I walk around the house.) And then before his bedtime nursing, I always take him to go potty (elimination communication). But tonight, he wasn't having any of that. He started his meltdown. I tried distracting him by singing him songs, making funny noises, etc. but nothing worked. And I didn't want him to cry anymore. It just breaks my heart to see his tears. I had to take him off his potty and hurry and put on his cloth diapers. And then I hurried up and let him nurse.

What could I do to prevent or help him through his meltdowns? I hate it when he cries - I just want him to be happy. Help!!
post #2 of 4
I could have mis-read, but it sounds like the meltdown had to do with the EC thing- using the potty. Maybe if he's espoecially tired or agitated or whatever, he just doesn't want to deal with it. Maybe try just using the diapers with no potty time for a day or two and see if it happens again? If not, then you may have discovered the culprit.

...ooooor this could just be your garden-variety, no-discernable-reason meltdown lol. For a kid your age, all I can think of in that case is that's he's just too tired. Maybe an earlier bedtime?
post #3 of 4
If you are sure that your little one is not in pain, is actually tired, not hungry and has no other need you can meet then maybe the meltdown is blowing off steam and venting? At this age they are taking in so so much and on an energetic level they can struggle to get it out. I'm guessing if you do EC that you are doing a lot of baby wearing but maybe try to up the body contact time for a few days as they work out energy through our body. Also a few more mellow days with less stimulation, chant music in the background, stories cuddles etc?

DS (15mo) will generally have a bed time meltown after a stimulating day or around milestones. If we're sure he is just letting off steam we hold him or sit/lie beside him and practice listening. After a tough day nothing is better than someone who just listens. If we are at home I take my top of to make it really clear that if he wants boob it is there but I don't pick him up and put him on as I want him to feel free to express himself.

The first few meltdowns were really really hard. We had spent a year making sure he never cried. (VERY hard as he was high needs!) I focus on keeping calm, present and in a clear space of love. He needs to know he is amazing even when expressing the bad stuff. It is amazing now as I can almost pick when meltdowns are building as that day he will be a lot shorter fused. I will often take him to our bed (we still co-sleep) and take my top off and he just lets it out. When he is done he'll roll over nurse and either sleep or get up and play and he's like a new baby. He never cries himself to sleep and sometimes when it seems he's done I'll ask is there anything else and he'll go again for another few minutes then nurse or move away and start playing happily.

He's been super alert and active since day 1 and learning to sit with meltdowns has helped us so much. The first few were long. Now he knows if he feels grizzly its "better out than in" so its generally over pretty quick and life is so much easier as he is then light and happy instead of simmeringly grizzly. Playful Parenting (?) or Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering by Sara Buckley have some interesting stuff on sitting with your children as they rage. I figure DS is learning young that we will listen no matter what and he can come to us with the bad stuff and also not to repress negative emotions like I did as a kid....

This was longer than I meant but hope it helps some. Again be sure there is no pain as sometimes teething pain is more noticeable at night as they are less distracted..good luck
post #4 of 4
I find this article on tantrums helpful.

http://www.mothering.com/parenting/c...roach-tantrums
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