"So what do we get him?" (Christmas)

[AFWife]

I sent out an email recently to all relatives requesting no toys and no clothes this year for Christmas. Really, he new baby is covered (another boy so we have more than enough clothing and we kept all of the toys...DS mostly played with plasticware and stuff anyway!) I don't want anyone to buy DS clothing because his growth isn't predictable. I don't want 65746315234 winter outfits that he'll never wear or have him outgrow spring/summer stuff before it even gets here! Honestly, we only NEED a new carseat and possibly a stroller (we're not set on buying a stroller yet) so I asked that people do giftcards this year.

I know it's "tacky" to ask for gifts...but in my family it's appreciated (trust me)

We were Skype-ing with DH's parents last night and FIL comments "So...what do we get him??" I couldn't tell if he was irritated or not at the fact that I don't want a bunch of stuff this year. I didn't know what to tell him. We kind of just skirted the question.

Anyone else doing or done a very minimalist Christmas? DS is 18mo right now (so he'll be 20mo at Christmas) if that helps...

[pumpkin]

Grandparents wanting to buy a present for their grandchild for Christmas? How crazy?

It would be gracious of you to come up with a few reasonable suggestions. A collection of books, a membership to a children's museum, maybe even
a toy or two.
Posted via Mobile Device

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Forgive me, but most people find buying christmas gifts for kids to be about THE KIDS. Not what the PARENTS need.

So if people are asking what DC wants, maybe you could give them some really small ideas. And then when they ask what YOU would like, tell them about the carseat/new stroller you guys need. That GCs would really help towards that.

And really, if you end up with a bunch of winter clothes you dont want, take them back for store credit towards your stroller/carseat.

PS, the suggestion of a museum membership is GENIUS!

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by pumpkin

Grandparents wanting to buy a present for their grandchild for Christmas? How crazy?

It would be gracious of you to come up with a few reasonable suggestions. A collection of books, a membership to a children's museum, maybe even
a toy or two.
Posted via Mobile Device

A zoo membership would go a long way, actually...he loves going (mostly because he can run around and they have a great kids area)

Maybe I should explain: My mother is a borderline hoarder and DH and I are packrats by nature...Like, she's constantly sending stuff that we don't need and duplicates of cheap toys (she spends a lot of time just walking around the dollar store picking things up) I'm striving to be more minimalist for my own sanity.

[Baby_Cakes]

I get what you're saying, but I agree that you could give a few ideas for your DS. I usually save the big ticket items to buy myself w/money I get for the holidays. Or, what pp said, when they ask what YOU want, you can tell them XYZ stroller or XYZ carseat.

ETA - just return the dupes and the toys that you don't want. Ask that they include gift receipts so you get the full amount back. I think that's the best solution!

[AFWife]

Would it be dumb to ask for homeschooling supplies? We want to do some Montessori stuff at home and I know there are "tools" for that...

[VisionaryMom]

I think annoyance is completely reasonable. I understand your frustrations & share some of them. We also tend to get a lot of crap that we don't want or need or that break so I have to deal with the crying, but I'm more inclined to do a "no gifts, please" thing. Your son won't understand a gift card (and I'm struggling to think of a place to purchase one that won't result in you buying the things you're asking others not to buy), so I can see why people wouldn't want to get them.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Originally Posted by AFWife

Would it be dumb to ask for homeschooling supplies? We want to do some Montessori stuff at home and I know there are "tools" for that...

Not if they ASK you for ideas. Thats the point I was trying to make. If you just come out of left field and are like, hey, for christmas this year we dont want alot of stuff, that might come off as rude.

[crunchy_mommy]

We made an amazon wishlist for DS (because my family also appreciates having ideas sent to them!) I wouldn't ask for giftcards, that wouldn't go over well in my family, they still want to pick something & wrap it & see him open it. I love the idea of zoo or children's museum membership (you could also request mommy & me dance or gymnastics or music classes or whatever). I'd also come up with a few less-pricey and more tangible suggestions in case that's what they're after.

Our amazon list includes about 10 books that I know DS would love, a wooden boat bath toy, a few mommy-approved toys (things like Lincoln logs & Tinker toys), pajamas, and a CD. I know DS would love all those things and they are easy to find & fun to give but won't clutter our house with stuff -- plus I'm willing to get rid of less-used toys to make room for the new ones anyway. Even though we're trying to go a more minimalist route ourselves, if I read your "don't get any toys or clothes" email I'd also panic & wonder what on earth to get the kids!! Especially because I can't afford gift cards (it's easier to find a few nice toys or books on clearance than to come up with enough money to make the giftcard substantial and not embarrassing, if that makes sense -- I'll usually buy a $20 present for $5, but would be embarrassed to give a $5 gift card!)

[lilyka]

Montessori stuff is great. Especially if you have a Grandpa who likes to make stuff! I helped someone make some manipulatives once. Very fun. And a lot of the stuff can pass for toys as well. people like that I think this is a great idea.

Also are there any sets of things your kids are into? It helped me to give my parents a mission. Something like little people, Thomas trains, legos. They were easy for them to get and they could spend as much or as little as they wanted. It was very specific while still leaving the choices completely open.

If you are a pack rat that is your problem but you should not let it deprive you kids or their family from enjoying a few gifts.

I think a zoo membership, ymca membership or classes, museum membership. Perhaps there are some specific clothes you are wanting?

In the end I think it is best to let our parents and family members buy gifts. If you have too much just pass it on to a charity or something. Even cheap dollar store toys can be a treasure to a child who doesn't have any (our local soup kitchen collects happy meal toys and hands them out to kids on their birthdays. Sounds like a bag of garbage but to those kids it is the biggest treat. little things really do matter and your unwanted gifts could bless someone else in a huge way). So look at the holidays as a way to clothe children who haven't got any. Accept the gifts, say thanks and then pass the rest to charity. If gm comments that he is not wearing the outfit she gave him tell him he had so many winter clothes he hardly got to wear any! But he did wear it and you have the pictures to prove it (produce picture you took of him wearing outfit just long enough for picture).

[lilyka]

And honestly if someone said "don't send gifts just send cash" they wouldn't be getting either.

[One_Girl]

We always do wish lists in our family, even the adults, so I put things that I thought dd would like in a wish list and gave it to grandparents. When she got old enough to express her wants I let her do this. Books are always a wonderful gift around here so maybe you could suggest some books. If you like wooden things or are ready for your child to have large legos you could ask for those. You can never have enough legos IMO.

[AFWife]

I've been a reader forever (supposedly since I was his age) so books are totally covered.

I made a wishlist on Amazon with mostly Montessori style items...I called it an "idea list" in the email I sent. I also mentioned that a zoo membership would be awesome because he likes going.

Honestly, with the way our families work a blunt email probably wasn't rude (last year they kept asking "what does he need" at the start of December...I wanted to head it off this year)

[gcgirl]

Originally Posted by VisionaryMom

Your son won't understand a gift card (and I'm struggling to think of a place to purchase one that won't result in you buying the things you're asking others not to buy), so I can see why people wouldn't want to get them.

http://www.charitygiftcertificates.org/

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by AFWife

I made a wishlist on Amazon with mostly Montessori style items...I called it an "idea list" in the email I sent.

Yes, that's what I call it too, "DS's Christmas Ideas" or something like that I get what you mean that it wasn't rude to be so blunt, half my family is like that & even the adults make wishlists (and DH's family just makes wild, totally off-bases guesses about what someone would like... for DS's birthday they got him clothes that were way too small already... lol)

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy

Yes, that's what I call it too, "DS's Christmas Ideas" or something like that I get what you mean that it wasn't rude to be so blunt, half my family is like that & even the adults make wishlists (and DH's family just makes wild, totally off-bases guesses about what someone would like... for DS's birthday they got him clothes that were way too small already... lol)

Yeah, after the first email (the one where I said "gift cards") my dad called and said it was great to know because he was at a loss and he preferred the idea of sending money so he knows for sure we got what we needed. *shrugs* Everyone is different.

[choli]

I understand where you are coming from, especially at your DS's age - he probably does not even really get the concept of gifts.

However, it DOES sort of come across as "What can I get for my grandson?" "Nothing, give me money instead of giving him a present."

[elanorh]

I have a friend who's had great success with her parents and IL's in asking that they only get a small gift or etc., and put the rest of what they would have spent towards college funds. Both sets of grandparents are on board with this. It helps that they live in a very small house so it's understandable that they simply don't have room for a lot of toys.

I think it's difficult to say "no gifts at all," because people want to gift. But it sounds like you've come up with a good solution.

[PoppyMama]

They have some great and inexpensive Montessori style toys on Amazon. I would really pull for the zoo membership that is a great gift.

[CatsCradle]

Would it be dumb to ask for homeschooling supplies? We want to do some Montessori stuff at home and I know there are "tools" for that...

AFWife: I saw your post in the homeschooling section, and although we don't homeschool, my DD goes to a Montessori school. That being said, we actually wanted to set up an environment at home where DD could do her "work." Early on, and when my parents asked what they should get for DD for gifts, we decided to suggest furniture type items. For instance, for her second birthday, they got a little table and chairs where she could sit and do her projects, play games, tea play, etc. It was a huge hit and she still uses it daily. Then the next year, they purchased her a double easel (w/ chalkboard on one side and dry erase on the other). Another huge hit. These types of things make them feel good about giving them...makes us feel good about DD getting them...and the most awesome of all...DD actually uses them! I think these are important tools that incorporate play and self-directed learning.