One of my best friends died this weekend...

[Breathless Wonder]

One of my best friends died this weekend, after a more than year long battle with leukemia. She leaves behind 2 children, ages 9 and 11, who I have known since they were just turned 2 and 4. I'm grieving her loss, and I'm grieving the fact that I can't get to her wake or funeral. I spent the entire day yesterday crying. I just want to be there for her family, but I can't afford the plane ticket, my DH has to work, and can't watch the kids, and the drive is really long (as in 100's of miles). I'm 28 going on 29 weeks pregnant. I'm just not up to it. I feel so terribly awful.

[MaryJaneLouise]

I am so sorry for your loss, Breathless.

[Dandelionkid]

[chaoticzenmom]

I'm so sorry

[hibana]

[homewithtwinsmama]

More hugs here. I lost a dear friend three months ago and her distraught husband left me off the list to call. I found out two days after the funeral when I called to arrange a play date. It has been devastating. I felt numb and had to force myself through the motions of my life for weeks. I don't have any good answers for you, but find your own way to help/say goodbye.

[Breathless Wonder]

Thank you for your support everyone.

homewithtwinsmama- I'm sorry for your loss as well.

They are burying my friend this morning. The service should be going on now. I just miss her so much. And I miss all of the things she had planned for the future. I'm so sorry for her kids, and her husband... and just everyone.

I can't stop thinking about how much she loved my kids. And how we would joke about 2 of them getting married. When I told her I was pregnant again, her face lit up like Christmas. She loved babies. For the longest time, she talked about wanting another, but her DH didn't. It's just one more chance...gone. It's just this huge loss of everything that could have been. She was 37.

When I visited over the summer, she and I were standing together talking. The kids were playing together, and she turned to me with a smile and said "It's like you never left..." That's how it always felt with her.

[rainbow_mandala]

I'm so sorry for your loss

Have you considered having your own mini ceremony to honor her? Maybe create an altar with a picture or two of her (maybe a picture of you two together), items or foods that she loved, and then light some candles and say what's in your heart?