Punching bag for angry child - good idea or bad???

[tylerdylan]

DS, who is 5.5 years old, has a lot of out of control, angry fits lately which are not warranted. He hits, kicks, throws things, swears, stomps, tells us he hates us, slams doors...
We are having a hard time dealing with these and we are wondering if a punching bag to take his anger out on instead of taking it out on us would be a good idea or a bad idea. We want him to learn that hitting people is not ok, but it is ok get angry sometimes as long as he deals with his anger in a non-hurtful way. My husband is worried that the punching bag will only teach that hitting is ok, which is obviously the opposite of what we want him to learn.

What do you think???

[mooshersmama]

I don't know what the experts say, but I had a punching bag as a kid and it was great. I definitely got the difference between that and hitting a person.

[Marsupialmom]

Make sure you give him words that go with the anger and frustration.

I don't believe a punching bag is inheritable evil, but I do think it could be an easy way for a person to express or identify emotions.

Make sure you validate his feelings and find multiple ways - not just hitting a bag to express his anger (or get it out).

[Jenne]

Okay, it may be great for your situation but the research shows that engaging in aggressive behaviors when angry leads to more aggressive and angry behaviors. Once the association is formed between feeling angry and hitting it can be a hard habit to break. Think classical conditioning.

Research does suggest that engaging in physical activity as a means to channel anger is good but things like running, shooting hoops, doing sit ups, push ups, essentially non-aggressive but physical activities.

Daily heavy bag punching when *not* angry could help channel some of the physical needs too but *I* wouldn't feel comfortable suggesting it as a way to deal with immediate anger in a child.

For me, when I have been in situations with angry kids who haven't yet learned to ride their emotions I try to teach them these ways by saying, "Hey, when I'm angry I go for a run. Want to run around the block with me right now?" or "You look like you might feel angry. Let's do sit ups until you feel calmer (or want to talk it out depending)." Each activity is then followed (once the child is calm) by a talk out of what happened.

I wish you the best helping your little guy learn that anger is okay and how to use it responsibly.

Jenne

[journeymom]

Jenne, that's a great explanation of the difference between the kinds of physical release.

[GuildJenn]

Jenne's point is a really good one.

That said, my son is not characteristically an angry child, but when he had his appendix out he was very angry - and a punching bag did help quite a bit.

I've used one myself and I don't think it led to more aggression. I think it really depends on the child/person and context.

[mattemma04]

I got ds a boppity bag that has sand at the bottom,and you blow up the top part. I always told him to go hit that around when he got mad.I made a mistake though in getting a dino one.He says he doesn't like to hit his dino! I do think it is a good option. Now he just goes in his room if he gets frustrated.