How much would you/did you pay a child care provider for a homebirth?

[Artichokie]

We are planning a homebirth and will need to pay for someone to care for our now-33mo old (she should be newly 3yrs old when the baby is due to come along). My family is 12 hours away and our friends either have small children themselves or are NOT crunchy and would not be a good fit for caring for my dd during the birth. We have a short list of people who we do feel comfortable asking, but we would need to pay them. I have no clue how much to offer, however, and would appreciate feedback.

ETA: we want our dd#1 to be present for the birth if she wishes - we are looking for someone who would be comfortable being at our home with her and also staying with her on the off chance of an emergency transfer to the hospital.

Thank you!

[texmati]

probably 10-12 dollars an hour depending on your area. That being said, I'd be honored to be asked to 'help out' in such a big event, and would not think to pay a friend. If you are paying, I'd make it very clear what was expected of them during the birth.

[camprunner]

With our last, we sent dd (newly 3) to someone else's house by her choice. This time she will be 8 1/2 and her sister will be 5 1/2. I am thinking about hiring a doula that can switch with dh between supervising the kids and me. The kids aren't sure they want to be present at the birth (we've watched the videos) but say they will be fine if they can play outside. So we would just pay her fee in that case....now to find one that will both travel to the middle of no where AND be willing to watch the kids part of the time...

[Artichokie]

Thank you for your responses!

Texmati - none of our friends are a good fit either because they do not have the correct mindset or because they have small children whom they would need to bring (and I wouldn't want there!). So we are going to have to pay one of several people we know who are not officially family friends but are child care providers. If someone we ask to come is a child care professional, does that change your answer? $10-$12 an hour seems low to me (but then we've never priced babysitters so honestly I have no clue). In each case they would probably have to take a day off of work to help us out.

Camprunner - my dd has never been away from us and I don't imagine she'll want to leave but if she does, I would ask the CCP to take her to one of her favorite outing placing (zoo, park, science museum). Do you mind me asking what you expect a child care doula to charge? Or are you just hiring a birthing doula who does childcare?

Thanks! I want to offer a fair amount but since we don't have unlimited funds I don't want to way over pay, either.

[coraljean]

We are actually hiring a student doula for our birth, and our plan is for her to help watch my son who will be almost two, but also be able to support me during any times that my husband needs to be with my son. Student doulas are much cheaper than fully certified doulas. In some areas you can find student doulas who will attend your birth for free. They typically need to attend 3 births to become certified, so many don't charge for those first three births they attend. In our case, we are paying our doula $200.

[Lady Lilya]

I would expect to pay MORE than a standard babysitting rate. This isn't just a couple of hours while you go out to a movie with DH. This could be any time, day or night, and could last more than 24 hours with no break. It could involve feeding your child multiple meals, and handling bedtime and naptimes.

We are in a similar situation. We just moved away from family. DS will be 3 months short of 4 years old when the birth happens, but he doesn't speak much English plus has language delays so that makes it more like babysitting an 18 month old with all the trying to figure out what he wants. I would like to prepare someone in advance with a glossary of his semi-words. It also seems to matter a lot to DS who he is left with, because if he is with someone who he doesn't feel like he can communicate with, that frightens him.

I wanted to find a "sibling doula" but haven't been able to. I'm gonna talk to my midwife about it. She had mentioned once before that her teenagers do babysitting and have filled a similar role in the past. If so, I'd like to have that person get a bit more familiar with DS. I'd even be willing to arrange a weekly event leading up to the birth where that person comes over to babysit. We could start with me being here, and then move to me running errands or whatever.

We do not plan for DS to be exposed to the birth at all. Or DH, for that matter. So we expect that DH will do most of the childcare while I am with the midwife and her assistant in another part of the house. But in case of transfer, DH has to come with me and someone would have to stay home with DS.

It is interesting to me that my biggest concern about the birth is DS being comfortable. A doula is supposed to support women, right? And the best way to support me is to take care of DS so I don't have to be preoccupied with worrying about him when I should be focused on myself. So I should be able to find a doula to do that, if I call them one by one and ask.

[texmati]

Originally Posted by Artichokie

Thank you for your responses!

Texmati - none of our friends are a good fit either because they do not have the correct mindset or because they have small children whom they would need to bring (and I wouldn't want there!). So we are going to have to pay one of several people we know who are not officially family friends but are child care providers. If someone we ask to come is a child care professional, does that change your answer? $10-$12 an hour seems low to me (but then we've never priced babysitters so honestly I have no clue). In each case they would probably have to take a day off of work to help us out.

In our area, 10-12 is a bit more than standard sitting rate. I know I can find a sitter for 7-ish, esp for 3 yo out of diapers. I bumped it up because you'd need someone who could be on call, perhaps for odd hours, and may need to take special instructions regarding staying away or conversely bringing dd close by for the birth/labor.

If it sounds low for your area, I'd just add a 2-3 dollars on top of the standard rate for a dinner out.

[camprunner]

Originally Posted by camprunner

With our last, we sent dd (newly 3) to someone else's house by her choice. This time she will be 8 1/2 and her sister will be 5 1/2. I am thinking about hiring a doula that can switch with dh between supervising the kids and me. The kids aren't sure they want to be present at the birth (we've watched the videos) but say they will be fine if they can play outside. So we would just pay her fee in that case....now to find one that will both travel to the middle of no where AND be willing to watch the kids part of the time...

I would expect to pay her regular doula fee. I was going to call around to the local doulas and see which ones would be comfortable with my distance from a civilization and with childcare as part of their responsibility. I actually am thinking that my youngest who NEVER wants to be separated from me might change her mind about wanting to be outside and having someone there who is familiar with kids and birth might help. Also last time, I needed someone to go fetch my husband when he walked off with the baby and I'm thinking that a doula in general might just be a good idea. Obviously one doula can't wear all those hats at one time though.

[Banana731]

Originally Posted by Artichokie

none of our friends are a good fit either because they do not have the correct mindset or because they have small children whom they would need to bring (and I wouldn't want there!).

So just to throw another experience out there...

I had a good homebirthing friend with 4 of her own who offered to come "doula" for me with my last birth. I didn't have many options for that kind of support where I was at the time. I didn't want her to bring her kids, I thought it would be uncomfortable for my mom (she was there for dd) and uncomfortable for her kids, maybe for me. So she came with her nursing youngest, but could only stay for 8 hours or so, because she had to get back to her kids.

I so so so regretted in retrospect not just telling her to bring her kids. They were all used to homebirth and would have been fine, and I wouldn't have cared at all. It would have been so nice to have her there with us, she was so supportive and wonderful while she was, and I missed having that support when she had to leave. Don't get me wrong, dh was great, but she knew where I was coming from.

I realize this may not be your situation or strike any kind of cord with you. But if you have the chance to have strong supportive female presence for your birth from close friends, you may find it comforting-even it comes with kids!