Introduction

[sbarr_NY]

Hello, my name is Sandra, with a lovely daughter who will be enrolled in Montessori next year. I am fortunate to live in an area with a few Montessori schools within 30 minutes. I have my heart/bank account set on one that is about 15 minutes away. I've been pouring through their web site since Lindsey was about 6 weeks old (are there any restrictions on mentioning a school name - I'd love to find someone on here who has/had a child at this school or others in the area).

Although it's almost a year from now, I want to start the admissions process and preparing myself and my little one for her to go to Montessori. They do have a summer program that might be an early introduction.

Fast forward - while I was typing this, the phone rang - just off a 30 minute call with the director of admissions who said they have 3 openings in January (she'll be 2 y 9 mo) - now I have an entirely different set of questions for the group. Here I was, with questions about how to find the right school, what types of questions to ask, everything covered in the sticky at the top of the page.

January seemed so soon (my baby!) But, maybe it's an opportunity. When I asked about readiness at that age, her response was: potty training (we're 80% there now - completely at home, no so good at babysitter), no mouthing objects, and minimal separation anxiety. Note - this is not a toddler class, but 3/4/5.

Now I have a new set of questions from even an hour ago. If my little one is ready, I'd be happy for her to go starting the winter term (she turns 3 in April), but would not send her yet if it were to be traumatic or too much for her. More than her starting asap, I want her to go when she's ready so that she is happy and thrives.

So, what are the types of things that you as educators and parents would suggest to evaluate whether a 2y9mo child would benefit from an early start.

Thanks in advance and I look forward to getting to know people on this site!

Sandra

[sbarr_NY]

I have a 1 hour campus tour early November, open house to take her father to (children also invited end of first week of Nov). They also have a screening visit where the child can go observe the class, meet the teachers to also see if it's a good fit. This was all for what I thought would be June or September, now my head is spinning at the idea of January.

Some wonderful things I heard:

• School has been around 40+ years (supposedly one of oldest schools in country)
• New campus (everything from heated floors to low windows to see outside)
• All teachers certified with many years of experience
• 245 students 3 yo - 8th grade (is this large for a Montessori?)
• 105 primaries (5 classrooms) - 21 seemed like a smaller class, isn't 30 typical size?
• 95% retention, although some leave at 5 to attend public school
• No grades given until 7th grade
• No significant homework until 7th grade, where typical amount is an hour a night (dare I hope that she can have a childhood??)
• 1-3rd grade homework consists of something on Friday night (maybe creating something due the following week)

The homework was because I asked specifically (hating the thought of an elementary student spending too much time on homework). I want her to play and be a kid.

OK - now I'm super excited - maybe it is for January, maybe June, maybe September - whatever is right, but so far, looks pretty good. That being said, I do want to visit the other schools in the area, but from what I've heard, things just sound amazing.

How do you know when a school is right for you (or more appropriately, your child?)

[kittykat2481]

I don't have time right now for an in depth response, but just wanted to quickly say that DS was 2 years 8 months when he started in Primary and he's done amazingly well. He had done a full year in a toddler program and is very mature for his age, but that's not saying your child won't do great too! I would go observe the classroom for sure, and see if you think it's right for your child. On paper the school sounds phenomenal. Is it AMI/AMS? I don't live anywhere near you but I always love looking at different schools' websites, so if you decide to post the name of the school, I'd definitely be interested.

Ok, time for pajamas, books, and bed.

[sbarr_NY]

Hi Kitty - Here's the URL to the school. http://www.woodlandhill.org/ Hope it's ok to post the name of a school. So far, I've been really impressed (seems like almost too good to be true - heck, I want to go to school there)

Accreditation: Fully accredited by the American Montessori Society (AMS) and the Middle States Association of Colleges and Schools (MSA)

Membership: Member of the National Association of Independent Schools (NAIS), New York Association of Independent School (NYSAIS), Montessori Alliance of Upstate New York

I look forward to more ideas, comments....

[cakemama579]

sbarr, this school sounds lovely. I will suggest that you go and observe a class for yourself (maybe even without your child at first) so that you can see exactly how the class functions (rather than just on paper). I think you'll be convinced one way or another just by visiting once.

Our M school sounds quite similar to the one you are interested in, though a bit smaller with only 100 or so families, and only going to 6th grade. I'll tell you we knew instantly that this school was the perfect fit not only for our DS, but our whole family (as I'm sure you know, Montessori is really a way of life and needs involvement from the whole family). We looked at another preschool (not montessori), and I knew right away it wasn't for us. The directress of the school was cold and shriveled (she wore the face she deserved after years of scowling, if you ask me). The 2-year-olds were put in a room in the basement that had no windows and resembled a dungeon--sooo grimy. We checked out a daycare lady where our DS's "bestie" goes, and she's very sweet, but DS would not get the social or intellectual stimulus we knew he was ready for. Then we visited our M school (my first choice from the beginning, although we had thought there was NO way we could afford it). Big, bright rooms with plants and large windows over looking the playground. Organized, CLEAN! And the staff was sweet and welcoming. We hadn't even met DS's directress because we observed another directress' class, but I feel we even got the best fit of a directress that the school has to offer. It is like she is made to be our son's guide through Montessori.

DS was 2 and a half when he started (just this past August!), and absolutely loves it. Be prepared for a rocky start, though, come January, as your little one is still fairly young. It took our son about 3 weeks to not cry in the morning on the way to school (though he always said he had fun at school when he was there). There were days that were unbearable to me as a mother-- I questioned whether or not I was actually putting him through some kind of torture, the way he carried on. Ask any of the mamas on this board, they probably remember my frantic postings!

So, thoughts on anticipating whether your dd is ready. Well, the potty training thing is essential. I think it is just a milestone that a child needs to overcome before being ready for primary-- shows a certain maturity and independence. Also, how does dd do with other people when you aren't around? Is she easily adapted, or does she get uneasy and upset? That, to me, is a good indicator of how she'll do in school. Does she show an interest in discovering things on her own? Another big one. Curiosity is an asset to have as a M child.

And are YOU ready? Separation, for me, was probably even more difficult than it was for my son. My heart still aches over not being home with him every day like we were (SAHM up until August). Search your own feelings, because if you want to wait, I don't think there is any harm whatsoever in waiting until the fall, and it is likely that if they have room for January, they will for the fall as well, you know? Try not to let any pressure go on your shoulders about "if I don't send her now, she'll never have a chance" kind of thing. It has to be right for her and your family. (of course, I'm not trying to sway you one way or the other, it is a completely personal decision. As I said, DS was younger than your DD!)

Good luck, let us all know what you decide!

[sbarr_NY]

Thanks so much for the response.

So, thoughts on anticipating whether your dd is ready. Well, the potty training thing is essential. I think it is just a milestone that a child needs to overcome before being ready for primary-- shows a certain maturity and independence.

She's 95% at home, so so at day care, but then she's one of the older kids and diapers are not verboten. I would think in a peer environment where potty-trained or bust, she'd comply. She's a smart cookie and knows who is strict - that's why I get compliance and grandmotherly babysitter not so good. I don't make an issue out of it, no asking or begging - just matter of fact, Lindsey - you're home, and expected to use potty when you need to go. But, then, going "nudie butt" at home is a big motivation.

--

Also, how does dd do with other people when you aren't around?

Good after an adjustment. She's been with same babysitter since she was 6 weeks old. She's never batted an eye when I drop her off (matter of fact - I just say "bye" and fly out, used to be she cried when I picked her up *talk about blow to ego*). We've had a few babysitters at night at home - she's slow to warm up, but then fine. Neighbors, she wants to go across the street to say hi when we get home in evening, but then hangs close. So, might be that she's shy around me, but if I'm gone, she fends for herself. I hope so. Honestly, I'd rather a child who is reserved around strangers than someone who'd go help find a lost puppy.

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Is she easily adapted, or does she get uneasy and upset?

No, not easily upset. I get tears, I don't fall for it and she's smiling within a minute. Frustrates but recovers quickly and on to something else. I don't cater to tantrums - basically, say: "well, milk or water - we're not eating cookies right now". Stranger anxiety (esp. tall men), but is very friendly with people in the food co-op, stores - as long as they don't invade her space. If a directress is sensitive to her "preliminary" space issue (needs time to adapt without pressure), I'm sure she'd be a champ and then she's very affectionate.

--

That, to me, is a good indicator of how she'll do in school. Does she show an interest in discovering things on her own? Another big one. Curiosity is an asset to have as a M child.

Absolutely, one day we saw a rainbow on drive home, every time we got to that block (within 50 feet), she'd ask - where's rainbow. We're discovering the moon right now - when we drive home, sometimes moon is front windshield, left side, right side according to how car is pointed on drive. She looks for the moon when we get out of the car. We won't even get into how many time she asks "why" during the day. I take each question seriously, until it's 3rd time in 1 minute, then I mock glare at her and she laughs.

--

And are YOU ready? Separation, for me, was probably even more difficult than it was for my son. My heart still aches over not being home with him every day like we were (SAHM up until August).

I"m ready if she's ready. With work, I had to go back at 8 weeks. Babysitter said I could call as often as I wanted - I lingered for half an hour the first day, hard to let go, then basically said: "call me if she needs stitches, I trust you" and I've never looked back (no anxiety on her part or mine). Since then, drop her off, pick her up - babysitter is now part of the family (I invited her to the M open house).

[sbarr_NY]

Well, 2 hour tour on Wednesday and 1 1/2 hour open house under my belt.

School was great - ironic that school tuition could exceed a mortgage (excluding property tax), but I guess that speaks to priorities (also, that I'm in a fairly low cost housing market). Too many things to mention about the school - just incredible.

I am absolutely in love with the school - I'd go if I could. So many things come to mind:

Even balance of 3, 4, 5 - almost zero student turnover
Gender and ethnic balance - looks like the UN (the class with the 2 openings in January is heaving weighted toward Indian - apparently the Indian parents INSIST on this particular teacher)
They also balance energetic, quiet, personalities (fortunately, enough classes to sort everyone out)
Teachers all MSA certified, average 15 years experience (meaning some newer, but some much more seasoned)
Parents are welcome any time, just need to sign in (excluding September while things are getting settled, not forbidden, but out of respect for the teachers/students to get everyone settled into a routine)
Admissions director knew every child by name we probably encountered 50+ during my tour
Equipment galore
Dedicated 14 acre campus (semi-rural), new buildings in 2002

They do have the "drop the child off at the curb routine" - Having read about children being pulled from the cars crying, I asked how they'd approach that. Her response, "we do not want to traumatize any child, we'd work with you to determine the best way to guide her to want to come inside." Essentially, that and several other scenarios, including discipline, manners, everything - the response was: "we'd work with the child". That was the least of my problems today as we arrived at the school she's never attended and she RAN up the sidewalk to the front door as if she was drawn. And started crying when we left one of the classrooms at the end of the open house. She cheered up enough to say good bye to several people at the front door of the school.

Lindsdey has amazed me over the past couple of weeks, almost like she's readying herself for the next step in life.

Since my first post - and hearing that potty training is a pre-requisite, I told my little one the next day - "that's it, you're a big girl, you're wearing panties from now on, no more pull ups" - and what do you know - only 2 accidents in 2 weeks (including at the babysitter). She knew the game, she KNEW (I wonder how long she's been scamming me - nudie-butt is always dry, pull ups wet once a day or so) - and as long as there was the pull up "safety net", she used it. Now with panties, she's fine, even when we go out to the grocery store or to restaurants.

My other concern was attachment/extreme shyness - well, we went into the M school during open house, she saw some material in the admission director's office and she was off like a rocket to go play with another kid, only looking over her shoulder at me a couple of times. I was so proud of her - 2y6mo and completely abandoning me as she found something that interested her. That was a contrast from even 2-3 weeks ago when she attended a birthday party and clung for like 10 minutes before venturing into the games.

If she can mature that much in a couple of weeks, I look forward to seeing how she's bloom in a wonder M school environment.