Originally Posted by Mackenzie
Okay, since its being said that she "ignored explicit instructions" I wonder if you could please clarify if that is the case because that is really the crux of the issue. Did you explicitly tell her not to feed her anything other than what you provided and to allow her to watch ONLY those shows?
|Unless you are completely, 100% crystal clear about your expectations (to the point that they are written down, and posted on the fridge or something), you can expect for people to do things you wouldn't. Period.
I agree with these. For me, a couple chips and Spongebob (ever since he saved me one time at a four-hour car repair episode at Les Schwab) are not the end of the world, BUT I remember how I felt when I only had one child, and she was only 2.5.
The point is, is it possible that a childless but well-meaning lit major just did not get that "prepared" meant "only possible" and that in spite of their vegetable basis (corn oil, corn syrup, and corn flour... LOL) Doritos are really not an acceptable substitute? Did she take "Clifford" to mean, "cartoons"?
I do think a lot of people are under the impression that TV as background noise is not a big deal. We don't do it. I think it's bad. But again... did you give a specific time limit?
I think the reason people keep repeating that these aren't a big deal to them is not that they are saying, "Therefore, it's relative."
They are saying, a lot of the population would never, ever think to mention these things. It would literally not occur to probably 99% of college students to mention that the child had a Dorito or watched several hours of Spongebob.
Not that it's not a big deal for you or that you're wrong, but that it's not a breach of trust not to mention it unless you:
-Left a list of foods and said, "ONLY these foods please, even if you have your own snacks, thanks" and "The following shows are OK, nothing else:" and "Only x minutes of screen time computer, TV, iphone combined."
I guess that it's not obvious.
I don't think Thyra's repeating the same thing. What she's saying is, your expectations may not have been obvious and if they weren't, you need to understand what the prevailing attitude is to see where your sitter is coming from.
Almost like... say you ask her to put your child to bed after a bath. Sitter lets her have a bubble bath made from dish soap. You are mortified. Posters tell you again and again that bubble baths from dish soap are really common and keep asking you: "So did you or did you not, tell her not to do a bubble bath? Because I would do that..."
There are a LOT of people who would think that calling over a Dorito is ridiculous. It would literally never cross their minds to think that food is an important thing.
Do you see the point? Imagine if this was a person from a foreign country that said prayers over your child before going to bed or something. You would think, "Gee, I didn't realize I had to specify, NO RELIGIOUS RITUALS, please." You wouldn't think of it as a breach of trust.
So did you, or didn't you, tell her "nothing but" and "only these"?
|Who gives a kid Doritos when they ask for milk?
Lots of people. LOTS AND LOTS OF PEOPLE. Especially people who don't have kids.