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Am I the only one that doesn't smoke pot? - Page 7

post #121 of 151
Pot doesn't sit well with my body. It sends me into panic attacks. My fiancé smokes and I'm fine with that. When we have kids he can still smoke, just not around the kids, obviously. I wouldn't get drunk with the kids there, he won't get high.
post #122 of 151
we dont own a gun and never would we dont drink around kids and not often when it is just us two. and no we dont smoke pot. i would be totally turned off by that playgroup and never go back that is for sure.
post #123 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
I wouldn't worry about the parents. I can't imagine a single adult who would give pot to their kids, or anybody's kids. I don't even know any that would smoke it in front of their kids. Parents have been smoking pot forever. But, they don't share it with kids.

sadly, this isn't true where i am. even way back when, several of my friends in high school had parents that not only smoked pot with their kids and their kids' friends but who introduced it to many of them.

i still see it sporadically now, which makes me wonder if it happens as often as it did and it's just better hidden or if it's dropped off.


as for us - we don't use, have friends that do. i'm not sure i've thought enough about it to offer an opinion on how i want to handle it when DS gets older.
post #124 of 151
Yes.
post #125 of 151
We definitely DON'T smoke pot. DH comes from a country that is ridden with problems due to drug dealers and even drugs like pot put money in the pocket of men who kill police men and take bribes from politicians. He's very much against drugs of any sort. Ditto for smoking. Occasionally we will have a bit of wine (very rarely and I actually haven't any in about 2.5 years). We stay away from anything that is mind altering.

Now, I actually wouldn't have a problem if pot was legalized (if certain conditions were enforced like with smoking) but like smoking I would have a very big problem with my own family participating in it. I'm very much of the opinion if it doesn't affect others than it's your own business and not the governments. Granted, I also would be happy if smoking/pot was illegal to do on the street and in only certain designated smoking areas like in Japan (again because if it's on the street it's affecting others).

ETA: we do have friends that do. It's a pretty touchy subject for us (DH has seen people killed due to drug wars so VERY touchy for him). We just avoid this topic like the plague.
post #126 of 151

just a thought

I'm glad my friends don't. I have had to call a friend late at night to drop off one kid as I head to emergency room with the other (my hubby travels).... I would not want to drop my kid off some place where the parents had been getting high. That would alarm me. It is a parent's job to be alert and ready to handle anything that might come up for the children. Getting drunk or getting high both impede that response time.
post #127 of 151
We don't smoke pot -- dh never did...I did to a degree of addiction (yeah, yeah people say it's not addictive, I guess I'm just special that way because it was a serious addiction for me). My addiction led to some very scary life/death situations that are ~~thank God~~ behind me by several years.

That having been said, I don't spend a lot of my time legislating or speculating on what consenting adults wish to do with their personal time or money in their own homes (though I have my own personal and yes, judgmental, opinions on it).

I would be absolutely beyond furious if someone I knew offered my child pot or had it in their presence. I mean, I would be on the news type of furious. It doesn't so much have to do with the actual substance (although that is definitely a factor). It has more to do with blatantly disrespecting the role of parent in such matters and willingly making my child part of something mind-altering, illegal (whether you agree with the legalities or not, it is what it is for now), and which goes against our personal values.

I wouldn't allow my child to spend any amount of unsupervised time with people I knew smoked pot. It just isn't a lifestyle I want to promote.

I'm not going to call the cops on anyone but at the same time, I can choose who I surround myself with and who my children associate with intimately, at least until they are well into their teens.
post #128 of 151
I am the mom in the library play group who chats with you while our toddlers sprint around.I am the mom playing peek a boo with her dd at the check out in the store. I am the mom who is out every day taking the dog and kiddo for a walk and a passing hello to you. We.see eachother all the time. Who am I? I am the mom who sits every night with her Dh after the baby is asleep and we smoke together and wind down. I am not a stoned crazed idiot incapable of making a rational decision. I am just like you (ok this has turned in to the odonell ad) and you won't ever know I smoke pot every single day unless I tell you. What I do responsibly in my own home is certainly none of your business. If someone has to ask me if I smoke because they think I would be irresponsible enough to smoke in front of their kid or be high while watching them or ever offer to any kid then you shouldn't let me watch your kid anyway because your opinion of me is so low.

Seriously nothing gets peoples morally self righteous feathers ruffled on here like the thought of people doing something (like smoking weed) that they could never dream of doing themselves.
post #129 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post
I am the mom in the library play group who chats with you while our toddlers sprint around.I am the mom playing peek a boo with her dd at the check out in the store. I am the mom who is out every day taking the dog and kiddo for a walk and a passing hello to you. We.see eachother all the time. Who am I? I am the mom who sits every night with her Dh after the baby is asleep and we smoke together and wind down. I am not a stoned crazed idiot incapable of making a rational decision. I am just like you (ok this has turned in to the odonell ad) and you won't ever know I smoke pot every single day unless I tell you. What I do responsibly in my own home is certainly none of your business. If someone has to ask me if I smoke because they think I would be irresponsible enough to smoke in front of their kid or be high while watching them or ever offer to any kid then you shouldn't let me watch your kid anyway because your opinion of me is so low.

Seriously nothing gets peoples morally self righteous feathers ruffled on here like the thought of people doing something (like smoking weed) that they could never dream of doing themselves.
And if your child gets sick an hour after you lit up, you have to drive him to the hospital under the influence.

And that is why I wouldn't allow someone who uses it to be in charge of my child.
post #130 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by fairejour View Post
And if your child gets sick an hour after you lit up, you have to drive him to the hospital under the influence.

And that is why I wouldn't allow someone who uses it to be in charge of my child.
Oh for real? The same thing if she had a couple glasses of wine...

eta: I am drinking a rum and coke (well pepsi...) right now. There are very few things that would happen to my children tonight that would warrant a trip to the hospital as I have the intelligence to handle most middle of the night health concerns at home, even a little saucy. If some freak accident or something were to happen between now and about 2 am when I will be completely sober, I have a spouse who has not had a drink tonight and a cell phone to call 911...
post #131 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by fairejour View Post
And if your child gets sick an hour after you lit up, you have to drive him to the hospital under the influence.

And that is why I wouldn't allow someone who uses it to be in charge of my child.
Gee I thought I made it pretty clear that if I was ever watching anyne else's kid smoking would be the last thing on my mind. If dd got sick enough to warrant a hospital trip even five minutes after she went to bed and we smoked. We would take her to the hospital and deal. If I thought I was too messed up to drive I would call an ambulance in a heartbeat.I know this isn't popular to admit but people function high on way worse things than weed and when I was young (high school) I stupidly smoked and drove constantly. I could deal with the emergency the same way I would if I hadn't smoked.And, even though it is totally beside the point its not like unless you are visibly messed up the hospital staff is grilling the parent on their practices. I don't drink at all ironically enough but I would be far far more concerned about having even just a couple of glasses of wine in the situation you described.
post #132 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post
Gee I thought I made it pretty clear that if I was ever watching anyne else's kid smoking would be the last thing on my mind. If dd got sick enough to warrant a hospital trip even five minutes after she went to bed and we smoked. We would take her to the hospital and deal. If I thought I was too messed up to drive I would call an ambulance in a heartbeat.I know this isn't popular to admit but people function high on way worse things than weed and when I was young (high school) I stupidly smoked and drove constantly. I could deal with the emergency the same way I would if I hadn't smoked.And, even though it is totally beside the point its not like unless you are visibly messed up the hospital staff is grilling the parent on their practices. I don't drink at all ironically enough but I would be far far more concerned about having even just a couple of glasses of wine in the situation you described.
And as I stated before, I wuld not allow my child to be supervised by someone who was drinking either.
post #133 of 151
Which is 100% your choice, if that is what makes your comfortable.... However to imply that people who have a drink or two on occasion are irresponsible parents is absurd...
post #134 of 151
It's not the substance entirely, it's the fact that someone needs pot every night to 'unwind'. I prefer my children spend time with people who can model relaxation techniques and coping mechanisms unrelated to drugs or alcohol. Sure, I have the *occasional* glass of wine because I enjoy the flavor of a particular local red wine, but if I felt I needed it "every night to unwind" after the kids were in bed, that would be not acceptable to me.

Some posters are assuming it's a value judgment on the people themselves. It isn't. I'm sure someone is really swell to talk to at the park or wave hello to on the street or smile at in the grocery store. That's all well and good. We are talking placing the most important people in my entire world in the care of someone who chooses to risk legal ramifications and potential mental and physical health consequences for the sake of having something with which to 'unwind'.

Chatting at the park is one thing, but they won't be watching my children. That's my right, just as it's their right to toke up every night (not really since it's illegal but whatever, it's not my business. My kids are my business though.)
post #135 of 151
My experience, in graduate school, was that there was definitely a circle of people who did take pot, and then there was a circle of people who didn't and there wasn't much cross-over between the two.

Basically, those who chose to partake weren't much interested in hanging out with those who didn't. Their good time revolved around doing it together, so if you weren't doing pot, you weren't a part of that group.

It sounds like the OP's social network has a similar vibe -- I'm sorry and hope you have better luck finding a social group whose values are more in line with yours.

***Also, I love (NOT!) how peer pressure never seems to end. Evidently, the OP isn't cool enough to hang out with if she has an issue with her kids being exposed to pot.
post #136 of 151
Uhm. No. That is not it. I have not read a post where anyone who is openminded about pot has said that they will not hang out with people who don't use it BECAUSE of their choice to refrain. Speaking for myself, I would likely be hesitant to befriend the OP in the interest of personal safety. Someone who would TELL OTHERS what I do would not be a good friend to me, should I ever partake again....

And honestly, I am quite bemused that you would make that assertion to begin with as the only people in this thread that have claimed that they would not be friends with, or trusting of, based on their CHOICE ALONE to smoke, or not are those that don't...
post #137 of 151
"I have not read a post where anyone who is openminded about pot has said that they will not hang out with people who don't use it BECAUSE of their choice to refrain."

I think it is a natural division -- its a group of people who have a "hobby" in common, and thus are closer to/prefer to hang out with people with the same "hobby". The dynamic in grad school (for me) was that that particular "hobby" seemed to trump other interests -- especially when the main purpose of many parties was apparently to get together to do pot. I'm not saying that there was a total hard division -- just that friendships seemed tighter in the different groups.

Also - I have noticed a dynamic in certain circles where if you do not partake (whether it is pot, alcohol or cigarettes), your failure to join in makes others uncomfortable EVEN IF you are not judgmental of their choices. The failure to join in is seen as judgment even if it is not intended that way.
post #138 of 151
Agreed...

I prefer to hang out with people of similar mindsets in most areas... I feel more comfortable with liberal people. I feel more comfortable with people with a more natural way of life. I feel more comfortable with people who are of a less strict religious belief, or are accepting that others disagree. However, that does not mean that I only associate with such people to the point of exclusivity. It is just natural that people spend more quality time with those they can relate to. Just as I am fine hanging out with a devout Christian, provided they are not trying to shove their doctrine down my throat, I am fine hanging out with someone who does not smoke pot provided they are not going to share that information with the world (which is NOT saying that I would smoke in the presence of someone who is uncomfortable with it, cause that is just completely disrespectful).
post #139 of 151
Just 'cause someone doesn't smoke pot doesn't mean they're not natural or liberal.

Don't let the 'Christian' in my siggie fool you, I've been to the fair and I actively chose , of my own free will, another way of life that didn't depend on having to use a controlled, illegal-in-most-areas, mind-altering substance (no matter it's "natural" status) to feel better/mellow/relaxed/inspired etc. I mean, there is a reason people smoke pot, after all. If they don't use it to attain a feeling or way of being they can't evoke naturally, what is the point of using it at all?

That having been said, I wouldn't call the cops on some one (I've got beliefs about worldly authority that may surprise you as well), but I would tell my children (provided I felt my child could be discreet) if pot were a factor in why I didn't allow them to spend intimate or unsupervised time with the family in question.

Incidentally, I am learning to embrace the assumption that just because I'm a devout Christian I musn't know a thing about the pot counter-culture. It promotes arrogance (and thus, sloppiness) on the end of the smoker who thinks they're so cleverly hiding their smoking habit and gives me way more insight and information about the people my children are exposed (or not) to on an intimate, unsupervised level -- but we can meet at the park as long as they're not high jk

I think one can be a 'good person' and smoke pot. They're just going be a good person who doesn't spend unsupervised time with my children, and that's fine. It also has to do with practicing in my life the values we hold in our family. I can't very well teach my child that I am not okay with pot in my intimate relationships/environment, then drop them off at Aunt Susie-who-tokes-up-every-night's house and use the 'it wasn't my business' line when they find out and ask. Kids are MUCH smarter than people give them credit for.

That just doesn't make good parenting sense, imo.
post #140 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles View Post
Just 'cause someone doesn't smoke pot doesn't mean they're not natural or liberal.

Don't let the 'Christian' in my siggie fool you, I've been to the fair and I actively chose , of my own free will, another way of life that didn't depend on having to use a controlled, illegal-in-most-areas, mind-altering substance (no matter it's "natural" status) to feel better/mellow/relaxed/inspired etc. I mean, there is a reason people smoke pot, after all. If they don't use it to attain a feeling or way of being they can't evoke naturally, what is the point of using it at all?

That having been said, I wouldn't call the cops on some one (I've got beliefs about worldly authority that may surprise you as well), but I would tell my children (provided I felt my child could be discreet) if pot were a factor in why I didn't allow them to spend intimate or unsupervised time with the family in question.

Incidentally, I am learning to embrace the assumption that just because I'm a devout Christian I musn't know a thing about the pot counter-culture. It promotes arrogance (and thus, sloppiness) on the end of the smoker who thinks they're so cleverly hiding their smoking habit and gives me way more insight and information about the people my children are exposed (or not) to on an intimate, unsupervised level -- but we can meet at the park as long as they're not high jk

I think one can be a 'good person' and smoke pot. They're just going be a good person who doesn't spend unsupervised time with my children, and that's fine. It also has to do with practicing in my life the values we hold in our family. I can't very well teach my child that I am not okay with pot in my intimate relationships/environment, then drop them off at Aunt Susie-who-tokes-up-every-night's house and use the 'it wasn't my business' line when they find out and ask. Kids are MUCH smarter than people give them credit for.

That just doesn't make good parenting sense, imo.
You completely misunderstood what I was saying... I was commenting on Jane91s insightful post on natural divisions. I was using those as examples of OTHER areas where natural divisions occur based on commonalities...
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