leaving bf'ed 18mo for 2-3 days?

[red and lulu]

i will have to fly to the other side of the country in january for work for a few days (could be as little as 2, as many as 4); basically i'd have to work for several hours each day, and have the rest of the time free. dd will be 18 mo. she is still nursing, we cosleep, and i am her primary caregiver (i work p/t). my initial reaction was to plan on bringing her with me. but the more i think about it, the more i wonder if it's the right thing — my employer is covering my plane fare, food, and lodging, and has offered to pay for a babysitter. but dd doesn't do well with strangers as she's only ever been left with family, so i'm worried that, even if it's only for a couple hours a day, she'll be traumatized being left with a complete stranger in a totally foreign place. but if i leave her here i'm afraid she'll a) wean, and b) think i've abandoned her and traumatize her anyway.

taking this trip is a great privilege and financially imperative, and so i have to go. but i don't know how to do so with the least negative impact on dd. i mean, i guess that suddenly separating her from me and her bubbies for several days is probably more traumatic than leaving her with a stranger (albeit a seriously vetted, highly qualified stranger) for a few hours at the beach.

thoughts?

[Abraisme]

Personally I would take her with me. I think it would be very hard for both my toddler and I to be separated from each other for several days. I left my nursing 2.5yo for 2 nights and it was fine, but he was very easy going about this kind of stuff and a whole year older. The worst part was the engorgement!. Anyway, I think it's better to be with a strange sitter for a couple hours a day than to be without mommy for 3 days. Good luck!

[Ambishop19]

I agree with the previous poster. I would take her, especially since she's still nursing and cosleeping.

[pumpkin]

I think some kids would do just fine if you left them at home. I know mine is not one of those kids so if it were me I would bring her.
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[Pookietooth]

Can you have someone else come with you to watch her while you work?

[newbiemama09]

i would want to take her with me because if you have so much free time i'd be great to travel and go on adventures with your LO! and expecially if your boss is so great about you travelling with her, i don't think you'll ever find an opportunity like this again!! i personally would ask a family member to come with to be with DD when you're away. i wouldn't feel comfortable with a stranger watching her not just for her trauma factor, but i don't want a stranger watching my baby.

on the other hand, if you're absolutely just not comfortable taking DD with you, leave her a home with a trusted friend/family member. it will be hard for BOTH you and DD, but its just something you have to do. pump a LOT before hand so hopefully DD won't be forced to wean. and make sure she has lots of toys from home and blankets that smell like you so she won't be sad at night. it will be hard for the caregiver, too. my DD is also 18 months and still cosleeps and BF's, and she hasn't spend a night away from me or DH yet. the grandparents keep asking for her overnight and i tell them it would be very hard, she'd wake up often and would be hard to put back to sleep without mommy's milk.

i think either way your LO will have a transition to make and will have to get accustomed to a new enviornment/new people. i just think she'd do better having mom with her most of the day and night, intsead of completly separated for a couple days.

HTH!

[dahlialia]

With me and my LOs, first choice would be to take a family member with me if I could.

Second choice, would be to go, with a plan for helping the LO with the babysitter experience - I did this, with a friend who I knew well but DD1 didn't, when DD1 was 10 months old. When I needed to be working, the friend put her in a bjorn carrier on her front, and walked and walked around the city for a few hours at a time. At 18 months I would probably have gone with a stroller rather than a bjorn.

[red and lulu]

i think you all are right. reading back over my post it's pretty obvious that taking her with me is the best thing.

i can't bring someone with me, because i don't have anyone that can take the time or can afford the plane ticket. my employer will only pay for me.

i'm thinking maybe if i can bring her with me to where i have to work, and have someone watch her there that may be best, and offer me the most peace of mind if a stranger is going to watch her.

[blessedwithboys]

If your boss is willing to pay for a sitter there, why couldn't he pay for airfare instead and you bring someone along who will watch her for free in exchange for a trip? There must be someone who can go...

[mom2lucy]

I just want to offer another viewpoint, but I absolutely agree that if you can bring her and feel comfortable with her caregiver then you should. I've left DD three times for work trips, one at 12 mo., one at 18 mo and one at 21 mo. When she was 12 mo. I was only gone for one overnight, but 2 full days. When she was 18 mo. I was gone from Friday afternoon-Sunday afternoon. At 21 mo. I was gone for 4 nights.
She was still BF and co-sleeping through all these trips. Now, every child is different but my daughter did great without me. She was with her grandma (who she loves) and DH, and it was a really great opportunity for DH to "step up" as a primary caregiver (I am with her all but a few hours a week for work), and they really bonded. It also gave me a really nice break and time to just enjoy myself. I was so rejuvenated when I got back and I think we bonded together even more.
At least IME, when I'm not in bed, she isn't expecting to nurse and easily was comforted by DH.
Again, everyone is different, but I truly believe that if you leave your DC in the hands of a loving, familiar friend or relative (dad would obviously be best), then there isn't any traumatizing effects.
And DD went back to BF without any problems. I did leave pumped milk for her at 12 mo. and she drank it, but she didn't even want the pumped milk at 18 mo. (I guess because she really wasn't drinking any pumped at that point), and I didn't leave any at 21 mo. I did have to pump a lot and still got pretty uncomfortable.
Good luck with your decision and your trip!