4 year old dd is regressing in behaviour. Help!

[Kailey's mom]

Hi, does anyone know how to teach coping skills to a child with sensory integration disorder, and a tenitive dx of aspergers? She is becoming extremely defient at home. There has been some changes, ex: Nana went back to work, we started homeschooling, and attend co-op. We tried preschool, but she could not handle it due to the seperation anxiety. We are happy to be homeschooling =) anyway, the behavior problems are getting worse by the day. She yells, talks back, kicks, does anything possible to get attention even if it's negitive. How can I help her? She does not want any independence that I have heard was "typical" for other children her age that are learning a sense of self, if that makes sense. We still co-sleep, practice gentle disipline, but nothing is helping. We've been using time outs, and time in's..and they are useless. She doesn't care, she is being completely defient. Any imput would be awesome.

[Kristine233]

What do you do for sensory? Lots of outlets for getting sensory stimulation/feedback can help calm her in other areas. Making sure her sensory needs are taken care of can help her better handle the processing/organizing of other tasks and thought processes.

I think you probably already figured out that its normal for kids like her to regress when learning new skills or dealing with change and transition, so just give her some time to adjust as well.

As far as the negative behaviors to get attention, I'd really just focus on making sure you give her lots of opportunity to display positive behaviors and then jump on them right away with positive feedback. Find things that she is good at that you can do with her so she feels she is getting the attention she craves yet its in a positive way. Don't reward with attention if its in the form of negative attention seeking, keep those interactions simple and to the point so she isn't tempted to use that as a way to get attention. Kids with Asperger's sometimes need a little extra help in the social area as far as learning how to get attention by means of productive and positive ways. Remember, they don't always understand the social cues that everyone else takes for granted so its easy to fall into a pattern of just using what they know works to get what they need even if its not the ideal or healthiest way to get it.

[Emmeline II]

You could try a cognitive behavioral play therapist.

Ds is 6 and has a diagnosis of ADHD and possible Asperger's and exhibited those same behaviors. After starting Concerta he became "redirectable," as his psychiatrist put it. Cognitive behavioral therapy has also helped.