What do you do when...

[quelindo]

What do you do when you seriously feel like you want to send your kid to school just to have a break from them?

I love DS and we're very close, but sometimes he is so whiny and annoying and needy that I fantasize about being one of those SAHMs who get to drop their kid off at school and come home and do whatever.they.want.all.day.long. Mind you, all I really want to do is get work done around the house and enjoy the occasional cup of coffee in peace without being yelled at or having to play pretend.

He does have activities three mornings a week and we try to get together with other people (and will, hopefully, become more involved with the local homeschooling group as he gets older and I'm not pregnant/dealing with a newborn). But I'm someone who needs a lot of downtime and some days this is just really hard.

If only I didn't believe so much in unschooling and have so many doubts about mainstream education...

[briansmama]

I know that feeling- we are so committed to homeschooling and ds is thriving, but he's such an intense kid and that combined with my need for a lot of downtime leads to school fantasies as well.

We have several alternative charter schools in the area and about once a year I find myself looking into them, researching them, etc. But then we'll have a great day together, a great week, or a friend will ask for advice regarding homeschooling and I'll recharge and find we actually do love it.

I think ultimately if I ever sent him I would regret it. The hours are long, the classes are crowded, surrounding him with mainstream kids all day long would lead to lots of behaviors I just don't want him to deal with/be exposed to/pick up on.

The academic part of homeschooling works so well for us- it's purely the emotional stuff that I would love a break from. BUT, I have homeschooling friends who've been there done that, and they all say it got worse when they were in school.

I have read here though about families who are trying school for the first time and it's going very well. So, in the end you have to do what is best for your family. I just know that I would regret sending him to school if I didn't have to.

[2xy]

Can you do playdates? Your kiddo could spend some time at a friend's house, and then the friend could come spend time at your house. Having an extra kid around often means that your child needs less of your attention, since they have someone else to play with.

[4evermom]

My ds was always a very needy kid. It gets a lot better as they get a little older and more independent. We tried school when he was 4 and it was so much harder dealing with him stressed and tired. Our whole day had to revolve around getting to bed in time to go to sleep in time to get ready for school. I was glad to have our life back after we withdrew him!

[Savoir Faire]

We had that for about 2.5 to 3 weeks. I swear, my children literally had me going coocoo. I was confusing dates, thinking it was almost Halloween (so wasn't), freaking out, yelling....you name it.

Finally a friend offered to let my daughter have her first sleepover. She stayed two nights. And I had some time away on Friday when my parents took my son for a few hours.

I think time away plus A WHOLE FREAKING LOT OF SLEEP helped me. I'm able to be a normal mom again this week.

It is hard. I KNOW. I have "send them to school" fantasies, too.

[starbuckmom]

I am glad to see there are other moms who fantasize about sending our kids to school when we are so dedicated to homeschooling/unschooling them. We just started this year with a combo of preschool and kindergarten and will probably end up in full kindergarten by the start of the new year. My ds is needy too and wants to be entertained. I also have twin toddlers who are giving me a run for my money so sending my 5yr old off to school sounds wonderful! What I wouldn't give for a full 3 day weekend sans kids and dh to get some of my sanity back and work on the house and organize school stuff but I don't have family near by to help.

I agree about getting out of the house and getting some adult interaction. That seems to help me alot! Is there a teen in your neighborhood that can come over a few days a week for a few hours to play with your ds while you get other things done?

I hope you can get some down time yourself! All moms need it!

[NightOwlwithowlet]

My son is 8, we home school, but he goes to an after school program three days a week from 2pm to 530pm or 6 pm. It is through his martial arts program so he does his tae kwon do there. His best friend goes there and they are able to see each other. There lots of structure, but it's fun. DS says it's like the best parts of school without the boring parts. It cost about $50 dollars a week and I do WOH most of those afternoons, but I really enjoy the break.

[phathui5]

Some things I do when I need a break from the kids:

Go work out at the Y. The free babysitting makes the membership totally worth it. Sometimes I sit in the lobby and read after I work out.

Get a babysitter and go run errands "for work." I'll go drop off brochures at midwives' offices or salons... alone.

Leave them with dh in the evening after he gets home from work.

--------------------------------

School just takes up so much time. The "break" that they would provide, to me, isn't worth the hassle of having the kids enrolled.

[MrsJewelsRae]

LOL! Once in a while I watch the bus drive by longingly... what would it be like to have my kids gone all day!? But I know I could never do it in reality, we have too many reasons for homeschooling, and too many reasons not to send them to public school. If they're totally driving me nuts I send them outside to play, threaten with extra boring work, send them to play quietly in their rooms, or pop in an "educational" video, go to the library, whatever. If all else fails, call Grammy! While I was pg I would put on a video for them in my bedroom and take a nap.

[kittywitty]

I have so been there. In fact I am there several times a week. One thing that helps is walking to our coffee shop and dosing up on mochas (hot chocolate for the kids) and sweets and doing our "work" there. It just gets us out and about and puts everyone in a better mood.

[CrazyCatLady]

I homeschool and only and she can be rather intense and need too. There are a couple of things we've done this year that have helped a lot and saved my sanity.

We finally did join one of the local charter schools for their homeschool option. Yes it's more work for me because now I have to track what we do and all that. But one or two days a week I can drop her off there alone for a few hours for classes and she loves it.

I also provide childcare during the day, including after school care for another girl my dd's age. They play their little hearts out for three hours everyday and it's wonderful. Sometimes the whole afternoon can go by and I don't even know they're there because they'll just play together the whole time. So Zayla gets a friend and I get more money.

Of course we also do homeschool park days, playdates, field trips, and classes. Mostly because she really craves one on one play. So none of that ever seemed to fill her need for kids/attention up the right way. It's really been the charter school and having the girl over every afternoon that have made a huge difference.

And I still fantasize about sending her to school at least every other day lol. I think that's normal.

[mattemma04]

Totally normal to fantasize!

It isn't all that great having them in school.I guess I am lucky in that my kiddos never made me long to send them off to school,but alas that is what their father wanted. The schedules,rules,homework,bullies.Fretting over being able to keep them home for illness,or wondering if we are at are legal limit for missed days. It is all just so lame and mind draining. I would do anything to be able to homeschool them again. We LOVE the days they have off and we are all together.We live for those days.

Get those recharging moments when you can-even late night-but enjoy those good times.Sign them up for some classes at the museums,zoos,or nature centers. I see a lot of things cropping up for kids to do during regular school hours.

Lol, I guess I fantasize about not sending them to school everyday.Grass is always greener...as they say.

[onyxravnos]

i try to remember that tomorrow will be better ...

it's like my mantra. and i make use of the tv baby naps = mommy upstairs doing computer and ks down stairs with kipper. mommy needs a time out sometimes.

[meetoo]

I sent mine to school. I honestly don't regret it at all. I felt like I wasn't being such a great mom and I had to many things on my plate. Seemed like the easiest thing to take off. I spend more quality time with them now because when they are home I'm 100% focused on them! They are receiving a better education in some ways, then I could provided at the moment. They have teachers that are excited and happy to teach them. Even things like spelling.
I still educate my children at home. I believe all parents are ultimately responsible for their childrens education regardless of where they go to school. We still visit the library, read lots of stories, go different places, and talk about a lot of things etc. etc. I should add that we live in a good school district and my kids are excited to go to school. YMMV