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need simplifying support

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
I've talked for years about simplifying - getting rid of alot of our extra "stuff" and not replacing anything that isn't essential... About 10 months ago, we moved in with my parents and everything went into a non-climate controlled storage unit. Our goal was to be in our own place within a few months - needed to get jobs and get back on our feet... We still aren't there, but hoping for the spring...

Earlier this week, I went out to our storage unit to get winter coats and a few other things out.. and we have major mold. dh and I spent all day yesterday sorting through stuff and trying to figure out what we can save. all but one of our dressers is past saving. All of our mattresses have mold. Looking like what we can save are the kitchen stuff, linens that can be bleached. Toys are going, books are going. Please help me to be ok with this... Although I'm glad to finally be simplifying, I'm having a really hard time letting go... and freaking out about how much it is going to cost to replace the essentials when we do move back into our own space.

Hugs would be great. Thanks.
post #2 of 11
I don't have any good advice but wanted to say I'm sorry.
post #3 of 11
I just wanted to say you don't have to "be okay with this" right away. It's okay to feel disappointment, even grief over something like this! I'm pretty simple, but I'd probably shed a couple tears if I were in your situation. Allow yourself time to grieve over this.

Then come up with a mantra to say everytime the negative feelings creep up "i'm okay, the kids are okay, that's just stuff" something like that. Think about your family's health and think how fun it'll be to go shopping to replace the (essential) stuff!

Hang in there!
post #4 of 11

i'm sorry that happened to you!
post #5 of 11
You don't have to be ok with the losses right now, but they do provide you with an opportunity to really examine what you want your environment to be when you move into a new place.

We lost our home in a fire a couple years ago- very fast, and blessedly we were out of the house when it happened. We lost everything other than the clothes we had on. It was overwhelming at that moment, and for a long time after that.

What I learned:

My family was safe.
Stuff- even the stuff we love- is still just stuff.
Window shopping for the environment you want to create can give you a lot of insight.
Months of planning are well worth it.

Another thing I learned- I like having very little 'stuff'. Obviously with thrtee kids, toys get everywhere and things can be chaotic. Our current house is less than 1000sq ft, and has only two bedrooms. I can clean it- even when I get behind- in just a couple hours because I have less stuff to have to find a home for.

I found window shopping really therapeutic in those first weeks.
post #6 of 11
I'm sorry, that is a bummer.

Still, as others have said, after some "grieving time" you'll probably be able to see the brighter side of it all. You might find that you're actually glad you don't have to deal with so much "stuff" anymore.
(I had a similar situation with water damage some years ago and it was quite freeing in the end.)
post #7 of 11
I feel for you..what a dreadful shock to find out most of your property is wrecked. Can you sue them for not storing the things properly? Were you aware it wasn't climate controlled when you hired the storage?

Definitely allow yourself time to grieve, heck I grieve a bit every time I drive to Vinnies and drop things off, it is not easy to let go of things that we have worked hard for, things we have lived with that have memories attached to them.

We get some terrible bushfires here which wipe out people's belongings in seconds...the last time there were shocking fires in Victoria down south, we were all rivetted to the TV, shocked by the stories of tragedy. So many people crying on the TV, saying how they had 'lost everything'. It was very sad. It was only when someone was interviewed and said they had lost a relative, like one guy who had lost his wife and two of his four children in the fires, did we realise how fortunate those other people were to have only lost things.

I suppose that is the only way to put it into perspective, to remind yourself that it is only things.
post #8 of 11
I'm so sorry to hear about the destruction of your property! Losing jobs and moving in with in-laws (plus having a toddler!) is stressful enough without any surprises from Murphy... Forced simplification isn't the same thing as thoughtfully paring down belongings, so it's definitely okay to not be okay. Like other have said, take time to grieve. It may be "just stuff", but it's still money and time invested, plus there are memories and emotions attached to that stuff.
post #9 of 11
It is definitely shocking, so take time mourning.

Something sort of similar happened to me...but then I realized that I didn't have to agonize and make decisions about what stays and what goes (I am SO not good at that) and in the end I was actually very, very relieved to have had the job done "for" me already. Seriously, I was so happy not to have to make a decision about the item if it was damaged.

I second/third/echo it about what you want to do with your space and home. Fresh beginnings are the best!
post #10 of 11
Thread Starter 
Thanks all.

Working my through all of the emotions. Was talking to my mom and my oldest sister has offered a living room set (2 chairs and matching couch) that she has but doesn't need for when we do get back into our own space, so one worry is gone. And my mom said that we could take the beds that we are using at her house with us as she doesn't really need them when/if we aren't here. So now, the only thing left is dressers.

And dh has finally agreed to sell his comic collection (32 long boxes!!!).
post #11 of 11
the real hard part about your situation is that it wasn't a choice and that you didn't have control.

when you do a decluttering/simplification, you have control. you choose what you want to keep and what you're ready to release. and you do it when you are ready and complete it when you are ready.

instead, you find yourself in a situation where you have to declutter, to get rid of the mold and keep it from spreading, and repacking, and you don't get to choose what does and does not have mold. it either has it or it doesn't.

i would also begin--if at all possible--to ask for gift certificates or $ to put into saves for repurchasing these things as your christmas/holiday gift/wish list. make a list of what you really do need and how to replace it.

and know, too, that you get complete control in replacing--so if yuo want something organic or all naturla, do your best to budget that in.

Sorry for your losses, good luck with your process, and here's to the coming spring and the opportunities it brings!
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