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Will you be finding out the sex? Surprise? - Page 3

post #41 of 59
Since we had to conceive using IVF, we won't be finding out the gender. Nothing at all about this process has been a surprise, down to the moment of conception. I knew before we were pregnant what my due date would be. So this is the one and only thing that I can hold as a surprise.
post #42 of 59
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ratgrl View Post
Since we had to conceive using IVF, we won't be finding out the gender. Nothing at all about this process has been a surprise, down to the moment of conception. I knew before we were pregnant what my due date would be. So this is the one and only thing that I can hold as a surprise.
poetry, mama. just beautiful. a million surprises about this baby will unfold before your eyes
post #43 of 59
Ok, so DH and I have had a change of heart since the last post I made on this thread *LOL* We have decided to find out the sex before birth, BUT, we are doing it in a unique way. We decided that since our daughter's won't be there at birth (2 adult daughters with busy lives and one that wouldn handle it well) to hear the same time as us, we are going to bring a piece of paper and envelope to the US appt. We are going to have the midwife NOT tell us but write it on the paper and put it in the envelope. We are then going to get our girls together and our youngest will read the gender to everyone.
post #44 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by JosieAK View Post
Haha. Love your posts, Smokering.
Me too!

If we go with the homebirth midwife, I don't know whether or not she routinely sends for ultrasounds. If she does, we'll get the 20 wk scan, and if we do, we will most likely find out the gender. We found out with DS. My intuition was right! This time I have decided it's a girl but sometimes find myself thinking of a male baby. So not too sure. I am hoping for a girl but dreading the hordes of pink princess crap that will descend.
post #45 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by ratgrl View Post
Since we had to conceive using IVF, we won't be finding out the gender. Nothing at all about this process has been a surprise, down to the moment of conception. I knew before we were pregnant what my due date would be. So this is the one and only thing that I can hold as a surprise.
beautiful! this is EXACTLY how my bff felt about her IVF pregnancy!

We will be finding out...it just fits with our personalities...we found out with both boys...and I personally loved being able to know who was in there and refer to them by name...besides, this pregnancy is a huge surprise in and of itself finding out the sex is still a surprise, just at a different time in the pregnancy...
post #46 of 59
I let it be a surprise with my first two. I loved that. I felt it gave me extra incentive to push, because I so desperatly wanted to find out what had been floating around in there for nine months.

That said, I'm going to find out what I'm having this time around. I actually do have a gender preference, mainly because my new partner is incredibly stubborn and has a major opinion on circumcision. I just don't want to have that fight, so I'm praying there's a little female in there. I'm pretty passionate about my stance on it, having researched the heck out of it the first two times around. He knows nothing about it except for that intact penises are "gross", and his best friend had their child circumsized because the nurses encouraged them to. So if it's a boy, I'll have a major fight on my hands, and I'll need a few months ahead of time to try and win that fight. I can't bear to have a surprise baby, and have to have that debate post-labour. =/ Sucks.
post #47 of 59
BarefootScientist, I hate to tell you this but, I was very nuetral in clothes and toys with all three of my girls because I am not fond of pink either and so far, first one isn't too girly and is gay, second was pretty nuetral in her likes and clothes until high school when she fell into the pressure and my little one was a pinky princess from the get go. It is all about individual personalities *LOL*
post #48 of 59
I'm feeling pretty torn about deciding. My mom always said not knowing who I was is what inspired her to push me out, and I like the mystery of not knowing, in theory.

Partner thinks it's kind of silly not to find out if it's right there on the ultrasound, but he'll go along with whatever I want

And 2 of my closest friends are pregnant and due in January. My BFF found out, and our other friend is waiting to find out at birth. I really like knowing that my BFF is having a boy for some reason - I'm able to picture her parenting him. So, that's sort of swayed my opinion.

So, I really can't decide. But we're only 6-7 weeks pregnant. We have time to figure that out
post #49 of 59
Not looking! Homebirthing with a midwife, so no ultrasounds unless necessary for some reason. I guess if we have one we might look. But I really liked the surprise last time.
post #50 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buddhamom View Post
BarefootScientist, I hate to tell you this but, I was very nuetral in clothes and toys with all three of my girls because I am not fond of pink either and so far, first one isn't too girly and is gay, second was pretty nuetral in her likes and clothes until high school when she fell into the pressure and my little one was a pinky princess from the get go. It is all about individual personalities *LOL*
I'm not so worried about the stuff she will eventually like, but more the stuff I will receive before she even shows her personality. You don't know my MIL!
post #51 of 59
We tried so hard to keep our daughter in neutral clothes....we still do, but everyone else, and I mean EVERYONE who gave her stuff gave her pink things with princesses and fairies. We had specifically asked people not to, so some people compromised and gave purple. Ho hum! She is now two and really couldn't care less what colour she wears, so far she does like green, but that could be because I like to wear green too!

We found out our daughter's gender before she was born and counted down the days until the 20 week scan! I was so sure she was going to be a boy, and even after the scan I wasn't completely convinced until she came out. For us, knowing her gender really helped us to connect with her and think of her as a little person. We had named her before she was born and would (privately) refer to her by her name. It was nice.

We will definately be finding out the gender again this time. I would love another girl as i have a lovely relationship with my big sister and would love to have two daughters. I guess I am also nervous about having a boy because it is all unknown for me. But I have been so nervous about this pregnancy and m/c that I truly would just be so thrilled if I get a healthy happy baby in June
post #52 of 59
Funny story! DH and I found out the sex of our first daughter but decided not to tell anyone. We were doing really good even though people kept trying to get us to tell them. Then it happend, they had my baby shower and someone asked my MIL if this was her mother's first Great Grand child and she said no, but then I said without thinking, "but it is the first great grandaughter" Everyone broke out laughing and then I realized I stepped in it.
post #53 of 59
this may sound really odd but i have so many transgender friends

for now i assume my son is my son

but it doesn't feel like this concrete fact it feels like he is probably a he but someday my child may come to me and say SHE has changed her name and is a girl and always has been and do i still love her and of course i would still love her. so maybe that is part of why finding out gender doesn't mean much for me. i don't see much point in doing it. regardless of what is there visually my child is my child and i love my child either way. i hope i don't sound to weird now.
post #54 of 59
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama_daba View Post
this may sound really odd but i have so many transgender friends

for now i assume my son is my son

but it doesn't feel like this concrete fact it feels like he is probably a he but someday my child may come to me and say SHE has changed her name and is a girl and always has been and do i still love her and of course i would still love her. so maybe that is part of why finding out gender doesn't mean much for me. i don't see much point in doing it. regardless of what is there visually my child is my child and i love my child either way. i hope i don't sound to weird now.
and that's why i think it's so important to recognise the difference between sex and gender.
post #55 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama_daba View Post
this may sound really odd but i have so many transgender friends

for now i assume my son is my son

but it doesn't feel like this concrete fact it feels like he is probably a he but someday my child may come to me and say SHE has changed her name and is a girl and always has been and do i still love her and of course i would still love her. so maybe that is part of why finding out gender doesn't mean much for me. i don't see much point in doing it. regardless of what is there visually my child is my child and i love my child either way. i hope i don't sound to weird now.
This is such a loving attitude ... and inspiring! You've given me something to think about, thanks.
post #56 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by kawa kamuri View Post
and that's why i think it's so important to recognise the difference between sex and gender.


I'm a self admitted smart ass, but I tell people we're waiting for the sex to be a surprise, and waiting till they're a teenager for the gender.
post #57 of 59
I am way too OCD to not know. I have to know in order to plan things correctly. I need to know what theme, what colors. Am I buying the hot pink AC/DC onesie or the black one? Will I need to buy the tutu to go with the onesie or the Chucks?

I NEED to KNOW!!!!
post #58 of 59

All the other 4 we kept as a birthday surprise...  Even the twins with all the dozens of US...  But hubby wants to peek this time.  We're pretty much all rooting for a second girl.  =O)

post #59 of 59

i read Middlesex during my pregnancy with my son, so the whole unpredictable-until-puberty gender thing was heavy in my mind. we didn't find out with him and i was very happy to avoid all the gender-stereotyping of babies, at least for the period in-utero. as it is, i avoided sports-themed onesies and clothing procliaming "handsome". we're not finding out with this one either. because i knit several gender neutral things for my son (and dressed him somewhat neutyrally as an infant), i will have enough gender neutral things for whoeever our newcomer turns out to be.

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