38 weeks & feeling depressed & overwhelmed

[caedmyn]

I'm 38 weeks pregnant with my 3rd and planning my 3rd homebirth. For the past couple of weeks I've been feeling rather depressed and very overwhelmed. I don't think it has anything to do with the pregnancy (except maybe hormones) as I'm not terribly uncomfortable or miserable or anything. I'm not worried about the birth either. I think it's partly a combination of being stressed about the possibility of having another baby like my very difficult DS (my memories of his first months are of him screaming constantly and puking everywhere, and that's it). And I've pretty much felt overwhelmed most of the time since DS was born, and very soon there's going to be just one more thing to overwhelm me. I wanted to be organized and have a flexible schedule in place before baby came to make life easier, but if anything I'm less organized and more overwhelmed than I was a few months ago.

I could really use some suggestions on how to get into a better frame of mind to meet this baby. I'm afraid I'm going to have PPD if I can't get out of this rut before baby comes.

[MsBlack]

Are you getting outside at all? I highly recommend it--go for walks, sit in the sun, especially anything to do with movement though--even indoor swimming/whatever, though getting outside some is really great. Make an effort to exercise your senses--take in sights (near and far views), smells, sounds. Try to get to a natural zone if you don't live in one--a park even, if not a state park or conservation area, lake, etc. It can really help.

And well--no 2 babies are alike. I was afraid to have another after my ds4...sounds a lot like yours in the early months, and he always was a handful (now 21). But I did have another--and she was such an easy baby. I'd had easy babies before ds 4, and I guess I forgot that they weren't all as fussy/high needs as him. They're all different!

As for getting organized...try not to sweat it. Just try to enjoy as many moments as you can--and let the bad ones go as quick as you can. Life is just our moments, each one. Seeking to laugh, to enjoy the moments you can, find reasons to be grateful...all of these things help me a lot when I get to feeling like you sound right now.

And--are you getting enough rest? Naps...a bit of time away from the kiddo, for you? MOre little helps that can elevate feeling good about life.

[tchu5]

*big hugs* I really do understand what you are saying. Do you have anyone you can confide in? Someone who will just listen and not try to fix everything? I remember feeling that way when my last DS was born, and I actually ended up getting a midwife therapist just so I could, firstly have a scheduled time to myself, and secondly to have impartial ears who could help me put everything in perspective. I did end up with PPD with my first, and I now will do everything I can to prevent going there again, so I really do understand your fear. Surround yourself with encouraging, helpful people, it helped me survive.

You will do great adding another little one to your household! Make sure and tell yourself that.

Good luck!

[lunarlady]

Everything seems so overwhelming when you are big and tired. I know near the end of my pregnancy I felt like my life was going to H in a hand basket, the house was a disaster zone, my DD was more than I could handle and overall things were going to S@&$. But baby came, and my physical stamina returned, my house got cleaned, and DD suddenly seemed more like the perky, spunky child I love, and less like a little terror. My DD1 was super high needs, and is still a real handful, but the baby is sweet, mellow, and lovely. Every child is different, but even if you have another high needs kiddo remember that dealing with the first has provided you with both the skills and the stamina you need to excel at parenting a difficult child.

Have you considered placental encapsulation? I've heard that is really supposed to help with moods PP.

[SilverLace]

I think you've gotten some good advice from the pps.

I might add a couple of other suggestions-
1. Talk to your partner. Make sure he knows how you are feeling and that your worries aren't going to go away with the birth. Then, maybe you can make a list together of what you want to accomplish before the birth and work on it together. As someone who feels better when things are organized I think it might help.

2. Make yourself a postpartum resource list. Include the names of some therapists who are have experience working with mothers (I think you can find some at www.postpartum.net), babysitters (or other people to help with kids), meal resources, etc.

3. Talk to your partner so he knows what to look for. Sometimes we need help knowing we need help.

4. Consider getting a postpartum doula so that you have less to do and the companionship of another woman. It can really help with isolation.

I hope that things shift for you and you feel better sooner than later.

[Pepper44]

I felt similar during pregnancy. Everything can seem so daunting towards the end! Have you ever tried hypnobabies? You can download the torrent file and try it. I listened to the positive affirmations tracks while sleeping and while doing the dishes. I swear it works wonders to gently shift your frame of mind. I had a joyful birth and postpartum just like the tracks said!

[MsBlack]

ITA about using hypnobabies for stress reduction...I've seen it work wonders for moms with stressful pregnancies.

[caedmyn]

I've been feeling better the last couple of days. I decided to stop doing things that aren't really necessary and are stressing me out (like kindergarten with DD and laid-back potty-training with DS) and that is helping. And I've been taking some time for me in the afternoon, to sit outside and read and enjoy our Indian summer while it lasts. My parents are coming to visit this weekend which means I can have a whole morning or afternoon to myself if I want...I'm looking forward to that!

I have not tried hypnobabies. I'll have help for about 3 weeks after the birth between my mom and my sister. Hopefully baby will be mellow, or at least a lot mellower than DS...parenting him has not done anything to help my patience level, if anything I snap much more easily than I did before he was born, so I don't see being able to cope with another high-needs baby very well. We will have to find a way to hire a mother's helper part-time or something if baby is high-needs, otherwise I truly don't think I'll be able to cope. DH is not the most understanding of my emotional strain issues, unfortunately.