What age were they done with a stroller? - Page 2

[Nicole730]

Wow. That's too bad she feels that way. If I saw someone babywearing two kids I'd smile, say Hi, and stop to talk!

I hope you figure something out...but definitely don't go buy a double stroller if you don't want to or need it.

Oh - and what about the perceived social stigma of a 5 year old in a stroller? Hmmm.

[tallulahma]

Originally Posted by confustication

So- I called to ask more specifics about her concerns. I kind of wish I hadn't.

She doesn't want people to think she is weird because I babywear. She thinks it is weird and mean to the kids to 'tie them on like a bag'.


She has some major challenges with having to fit into the mainstream culture in many ways, but I didn't know that her fears went so far as to make her uncomfortable being with someone who is a little crunchy around the edges.

Blech. I feel icky about the whole exchange.

thats horrible!

i dont understand caring if people think you are weird!?

sorry that happened. that was way rude of her.

i wouldnt use a stroller at all now.

[pearl2]

You just tell her she is outdated, as babywearing is super "in" and "trendy" this season

I really would have laughed out loud and in her face as a gut reaction. I'd also tell her to make sure she brings her hammer so she can build a bridge and get over it.

Well, I might be a bit more gentle than that, but not much...

Also, isn't 300 miles like 5 hours without little ones? How far is this trip going to take you? If it's like 6-7 hours with a person I wasn't that comfortable with one way, either that's the trip from hell, or a very long opportunity to school her!

[Abraisme]

It's totally going to depend on where you live, now much you drive, how much weight you can carry, etc..

I carried my son pretty much all the time until he was 2ish, then we used a stroller on a regular basis until he was 4. I happened to live in a downtown city environment so I walked pretty much everywhere and really needed a stroller.

Now my DD is 14mo and she's been in her stroller 3 times.. I plan on using it more if/when I get pregnant again..

Who cares what your MIL thinks, you should go with what YOU need and want here. Good luck!

[MamaPhD]

I would've said we were already done with the stroller around 18 months. DD started to walk pretty well and she was DONE with being worn or strollered! But now around 22 months, she actually asks for stroller rides around neighborhood and enjoys it. We drive most places so we don't use stroller for transportation per se, though. Once we get to a destination by car, DD can walk at the destination, be it a park or shopping or whatever. Now I'm preg with #2 I'm debating the double stroller, but probably will hold off on that until #2 is bigger and seeing how #1 feels about strollers by then.

[zebra15]

My son(I) used the stroller until he was almost 5 then I sold it ONLY because we were moving. He was tiny and looked like he was 3-4 yrs old. I not only used the stroller for DS but more of a 'cart' for my purse, drinks, extra stuff etc. That darn stroller sure did make my life easier LOL

However based on what you said I would probably be cancelling your trip and letting your friend just deal with her feelings.

[Kreeblim]

Originally Posted by tallulahma

its like herding cats. tired, cranky cats.

Sorry, but that is freaking hysterical. I know EXACTLY what that is like.


OP, like many here I was going to tell you to actually consider a stroller in a city far away where you will be there all day long. It might be nice to have a way to carry all your stuff AND have a place for your kids to nap on the go (mine never could while worn but ymmv) AND have a way to take it easy at the end of the day if needed while your kids can always walk or be worn if they choose so...

But after talking to your friend I'd totally cancel the trip. Strollers can be useful, but I wouldn"t want to be around her hang-ups because lord only knows what else she'll take issue with.

[ChetMC]

Don't Need

You don't need to bring a stroller. We have a 1 year old and a 2.5 year old and we often leave our stroller at home because it's more trouble than it's worth on the subway.

However, DH and I are both there. I wear the baby, and DH wears the toddler when his walking becomes a problem. We don't own a car and our kids can walk far, but our toddler is still a toddler. He's not fast. He sometimes gets very distracted. Sometimes it's crowded and my definition of personal hell would be losing a 2.5 year old on the subway. We're often out all day and he wants a nap.

I would entertain concerns that a toddler couldn't keep up the necessary pace. It is true that strollers can be great for hauling a lot of stuff around when you're out for the day. However, I would not entertain crap attitudes toward babywearing. Babywearing saved us from buying a double stroller even though we have four kids born in span of 5.5 years!

As for the general topic of age, our girls were mostly done riding in the stroller by the time they were four. The thing is though, when we bring the stroller kids often rotate through it depending on wants, needs and availability. I have had a five year old use it on occasion.

[amma_mama]

Originally Posted by confustication

So- I called to ask more specifics about her concerns. I kind of wish I hadn't.

She doesn't want people to think she is weird because I babywear. She thinks it is weird and mean to the kids to 'tie them on like a bag'.


She has some major challenges with having to fit into the mainstream culture in many ways, but I didn't know that her fears went so far as to make her uncomfortable being with someone who is a little crunchy around the edges.

Blech. I feel icky about the whole exchange.

That is super sad. I was annoyed enough when I read your first post. With that remark, the trip would likely be cancelled to "save" her the embarrassment.

[karanyavel]

I was given a stroller by MIL... that, along with several other gifts we told her we wouldn't need (bottles, crib, etc.), wound up sitting around unused and we finally got rid of them about a year ago.

So we never used a stroller. I tried babywearing and honestly never could get it to work. Hated the carseat bucket too. I just carried DD around until she could walk, and then carried her when she was tired... I finally stopped carrying her at all when she was 4 or so? I just stuck her on my (ample) hip with my arm around her and went about my business, hehe.

Got plenty of stares and a few people telling me I was "spoiling" her when she was tiny, but I didn't really care.

--K

[lilith1]

DS1,just turned 2, walks most of the time, resisting the stroller. DS1 ,9 months, I just wear. I guess it depends on the kids, I found myself pushing an empty double stroller more than once, I gave it up. DS2 wants to be on me, DS1 wants to walk and I have this extra piece of luggage aka stroller with me.

[sunnygir1]

If you have never used a stroller, you probably don't need one.

I LOVE having a stroller, and I use a double stroller. When we go on day trips, like to the zoo or something, it is so great to have the stroller to carry stuff and/or children throughout the day.

If we're gone all day both of my children will nap in the stroller. We carry them and babywear, but it's really nice not to have to carry the diaper bag, snacks, etc. in addition to a kid, and for them to have a place to sit and have their own space to rest/nap.

Dd is 3y8m and still likes to ride in the stroller when we go on very long walks or are walking all day. She doesn't like the Ergo anymore; I think it hurts her legs after a bit.

Long and short -- whatever works for you!

[LROM]

Originally Posted by pearl2

I really would have laughed out loud and in her face as a gut reaction. I'd also tell her to make sure she brings her hammer so she can build a bridge and get over it.

Well, I might be a bit more gentle than that, but not much...

Also, isn't 300 miles like 5 hours without little ones? How far is this trip going to take you? If it's like 6-7 hours with a person I wasn't that comfortable with one way, either that's the trip from hell, or a very long opportunity to school her!

Absolutely this. Her reaction reminds me of the people in my life who I suspect are embarrassed that I still breastfeed DD (who is 2 and pretty much digs her hand in my shirt and says "Babu!!" loudly when she wants to eat, no matter where we are. And I love her for it!).

The point is, you were doing this trip it sounds like to both do a good deed and also to have some fun with your kids, is that right? Do you really want to be in a car for hours with someone who is so judgemental and also so intolerant?

I understand totally that this suprised you and that you are hurt a bit by it. I would be too getting this reaction from a friend. But all that's really important is you enjoying this trip, so my question to you would be can you even enjoy it with her now? If not, just don't go, or do it on your own another weekend. If you think you'd still have fun, then go, but I'd hope you would NEVER feel like you need to change ANYTHING about what works for you and what you believe in, just because your "friend" is so backwards to feel "embarrassed" by a healthy, ancient, wonderful practice like babywearing.

It's really her loss and her kids' loss that she's so intolerant and uninterested in learning more about things she clearly doesn't understand. Not that she'd choose babywearing once she did learn more about it, but at least that she'd be open enough to understand that parents make different choices for their kids and their lives, and anyone who would be embarrassed by something like this... they've got their own issues.

ETA: Thinking more about this, my hunch (just a hunch) is that for your friend it's also a class issue. Somehow she thinks babywearing is something for people who can't afford fancy strollers? I could be totally and completely wrong, but it's the "embarrassed" part that makes me think that.

Anyway it doesn't matter in the end why she feels that way - that she feels that way at all is so problematic, I could never suffer a trip like that with her or expose my kids to that kind of intolerance for that many hours in a car! But that's me... you have to do what feels best to you.

[red and lulu]

Originally Posted by Nicole730

Oh - and what about the perceived social stigma of a 5 year old in a stroller? Hmmm.

This.

I thought it was a little odd that she wanted you to bring a double stroller. Why not a single, if anything? But now we know she's just being silly. Do what you do that works for you and your kids. I think bringing an umbrella stroller (which is lite and compact) just in case you/ds1 needs/wants it isn't a bad idea.

[confustication]

I decided that I will drive on my own, I'm trying to use the excuse that the kids might need to escape and I wouldn't want her to need to leave when she isn't ready. The final straw was when she handed me a blanket to cover up when I was nursing my 1 yo. I know she meant well, but the idea of enduring that sort of quiet 'eek!' throughout the day would get to me. I'd rather preserve the pieces of the friendship there are and create enough distance that she doesn't feel overwhelmed.