Oh, yes, I forgot about the school snack thing. I came up in arms because the 1st grade teacher was lackadaisical about a snack and I basically said, "If you don't want a screaming lunatic by lunchtime you had better plan a snack time every.single.day." I would insist on a second snack if she needed it--even if you got the doctor involved. If Saturday goes better with snacks in the morning and the afternoon, you may be able to get a dr. order for food!
I'm interested in her boredom with food. Can you find salami without nitrites/preservatives? Would that be an alternative? (probably expensive) ALL of my kids, even not the HSC ones are very picky about food; more like won't move outside their comfort zone.
Is SHE a planner? Could SHE fill out a chart together with you to determine:
a morning (school) snack, lunch, afternoon/after school snack? For the whole week?
Hope this all isn't redundant. You can just ignore these ideas if they aren't useful for you. I hope you can figure it out. The tantrums, meltdowns, and hours of family time used up in conflict are really difficult. I have been there.
Hang in there!