Am I a totally mean mom....

[StephandOwen]

Here's the thing- ds begged to be a Dove chocolate for Halloween this year. Begged. We tried to persuade him to choose something else, we took him to look at other costumes, etc. He insisted he wanted to be a Dove Chocolate. So I made him a costume. It cost about $10-15 to make. He loved it, he was so thrilled. He wore it to the zoo last weekend and enjoyed it.

Tonight he told me he doesn't want to be a Dove Chocolate for Halloween, that it was just for the zoo. He wants to be a mummy for Halloween I fought the urge to tell him "no way- I made you a costume now you'll wear it whether you like it or not!" I just listened while he pleaded his case but didn't say yes or no.

So.... would you make another costume? Tell him he has to wear the first? We gave him MANY chances to change his mind before I invested all that time into making the first one.

[liberal_chick]

Personally, I'd tell him he made his choice and he can wear the costume he has or none at all.

[pianojazzgirl]

If it was me who had invested all the time and effort I would just say "sorry, that's what you chose, that's what I made. Next year you can choose to be a mummy". I'm certain he understood when you made the costume that it was intended for Halloween (not just the zoo).

[lilyka]

:

[Multimomma]

At age seven, I would say I would be happy to help, but he's old enough to make his own mummy costume, and I've already made one.

[DevaMajka]

At 7? Yeah, I wouldn't get/make another costume. If ds wanted to be a mummy, and I had an old sheet around, I might let him make a costume. Maybe- I wouldn't want to end up spending time on that one too.

Ds (6yo) wanted to get a ninja costume, on a whim. We told him that was it- we weren't buying another one. He's disappointed in it now (it doesn't have clothes with it, only the mask and sword thing), but he knows we aren't getting another one. I will, however, help him find clothes that will look good with it, probably from a thrift store.

[Peony]

I wouldn't make or buy another one either.

[nola79]

I'm with the other posters. I would not make or buy another one.

[AllyRae]

The chocolate costume was pretty darn cute. I'd tell him that you made him the costume he asked for. If he wants another one, he needs to make it himself out of recycled materials that you're about to get rid of. That usually works in our house--either Brandon gets really really creative and has fun with his recycled craft, or he decides that it's not worth the extra effort and goes with his original choice. :

[mkksmom]

For me, it would depend on how you feel about making another costume. I guess I'd end up doing it unless I loved the Dove chocolate costume too much. I'd just use white clothing and maybe pick up some crepe paper and wrap him up. If it were a more complicated costume, then forget it. But for something that would take me 10 minutes and maybe $5, I'd do it.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by mkksmom

For me, it would depend on how you feel about making another costume. I guess I'd end up doing it unless I loved the Dove chocolate costume too much. I'd just use white clothing and maybe pick up some crepe paper and wrap him up. If it were a more complicated costume, then forget it. But for something that would take me 10 minutes and maybe $5, I'd do it.

:
But I'd see if I could sell the Dove costume now. Maybe donate it for a tax refund at the very least.

[Linda on the move]

You titled your thread "am I a totally mean mom?"

You are not being mean in telling your son that you used your time and energy to make him the costume he said he wanted, it came out really cute, and now he owes you a thank you.

The way he's acting right now, while completely age appropriate, isn't something you want to encourage. The way you allow him to treat YOU is also how you are teaching him to treat others.

[meemee]

oh come on all you mean moms

there is only one halloween. how unfair is that for kids. they dont get to dress up really any more. and he is 7. pretty soon there will be NO halloween for him.

how can you not get him another costume? he's gotta be a mummy for that day.

dd has always had multiple halloween costume. i've got them cheap, cheap, cheap. i would do all i could to have her in different halloween costumes. however i refused to make her a 'piece of turd' costume, a boob and a nipple costume. i do have my limits.

but heck ya go for it.

does he not wear the costumes at other time?

we get quite an use for the costumes at ours.

knowing you steph i know you've already gotten the mummy costume.

[Marsupialmom]

Originally Posted by pianojazzgirl

If it was me who had invested all the time and effort I would just say "sorry, that's what you chose, that's what I made. Next year you can choose to be a mummy". I'm certain he understood when you made the costume that it was intended for Halloween (not just the zoo).

This!

But at the same time, if he comes up with a way to be a mummy on his own I would let his creatively fly.

Mummy's can be dollar store create paper or TP.

[TiredX2]

Well...

When DS was 6 he wanted to be Spiderman. He wanted the costume with the muscles . He got it and was thrilled. Then it was time to wear it to school and he was adament he did not want to wear it to school. He thought people would make fun of him (Note: this child is HORRIBLE at figuring out what people would make fun of--- he regularily wore kilts to preschool, had long hair for years and now has a mohawk in 3rd grade, etc... but thinks Spiderman will be looked at oddly ). But I wasn't going to buy or make another costume.

He ended up wearing an old Harry Potter costume of DD's (which was hillarious because several kids asked him why he wasn't Spiderman like he said he was going to be AND didn't know who he was supposed to be ). So, I guess my answer is--- do you have another costume around the house? Do you have light shirt, light pants and bandages to fasten a costume together?

OR does he like to dress up a lot? We bought more than one costume some years simply because my kids really love to dress up!

[StephandOwen]

I'm totally torn. LOL! On the one hand- I'm glad he's getting creative and learning to express what he wants (he has autism and both of those things are hard for him). I do want to encourage the creativity and expressiveness On the other hand- I worked hard on that chocolate costume! LOL! I'll have to give it more thought. I might tell him he needs to make a mummy costume himself or wear the chocolate costume. Or maybe by tomorrow he'll totally forget about the mummy idea

[TiredX2]

Originally Posted by StephandOwen

I'm totally torn. LOL! On the one hand- I'm glad he's getting creative and learning to express what he wants (he has autism and both of those things are hard for him). I do want to encourage the creativity and expressiveness On the other hand- I worked hard on that chocolate costume! LOL! I'll have to give it more thought. I might tell him he needs to make a mummy costume himself or wear the chocolate costume. Or maybe by tomorrow he'll totally forget about the mummy idea

You know, honestly I'm a push over. I would do the mummy costume if I could without freaking out. Then I'd just remember to be really clear next year that you only get to pick ONE costume.

[alegna]

I'd totally give him a roll of toilet paper and some tape and tell him to knock himself out

-Angela

[leighi123]

Ds changed his mind like 10 times before deciding. I took him to the fabric store with me and told him that he gets ONE costume and he has to stick with it once he picks it.

So he is a parrot and thats that. He won the costume contest at the zoo! And he has to wear it for halloween too, I am NOT making 2 costumes like last year, I still have to make a costume for the dog so I dont have time.

[lovepiggie]

I was infamous for doing that same thing as a child! My mom would always wait until the last minute before making me a costume.

I agree with some other PPs though. Get him a white sheet, and let him make his own mummy costume. I would help, because it would be a fun family activity, but don't do it all on your own and don't invest too much money into it.

Also, I'd love to see pictures of the chocolate costume! I went as a cookie one year