How do you do it all????

[happy1nluv]

I can either have a semi-clean house, good food for the week, OR a good week for the kids... I can't seem to get it all together. I feel like all three of these areas REALLY need to be addressed, but I can only get to one at the expense of the other 2.

I have 3 boys - 1,3,5 - so i know that i dont have to get all "schooly" but the days really do go smoother when i have ideas lined up for games/crafts/activities that keep them busy... and for the life of me i can't figure out how to get them to clean up with me ... I can get them to do a quick "pick up everything on the floor and throw in this bucket" pickup if I'm right there with them, and i can get them to bring their dishes to the sink... they fold towels, but that doesn't buy me enough time to fold laundry, etc. I know baby steps... but i either need to be right there while they do it, or it doesn't give me enough time to finish the task (like, they'll fold the 2 towels in the laundry pile, then be throwing the rest of the clothes around as i try and fold them, etc... or they'll bring their dishes to the sink -- i'll try and load/unload the dishwasher and they'll try to climb in or build towers of silverware...) ... I can't do it with them, i'm too tired when they're in bed...) And... I just don't have enough time to figure out food ... their diets are worse than abysmal these days (we're pretty much eating pasta and homemade veggie burgers... thats what my oldest will eat easily and its easy to adapt for my meat eating hubby).

Anyway... what/how do you cut your corners????

[sleet76]

I don't have any real advice except to persevere and keep moving forward. I am only two years ahead of you in kids ages (7, 5, and 3, though my oldest is a mature-for-age girl) and things are so much easier than they were even a year ago. I am able to do probably two out of the three on your list. Which is pretty livable. I think it is just going to get easier, at least in the hands-on restrictiveness of having young children. I expect different challenges to arise in a few years.

Things have improved enough that I'm even doing something for myself this semester--I signed up for an evening art class. That has homework! And it's going well.

[Ekatherina]

it's hard... for me thank God kids are pretty good at keeping themselves busy, and ds likes to teach dd so they are raising up by themselves. ...try teaching your older ds how to play with his brothers.....also i dont allow fruits or anything if dinner is not finished, even if it's steamed veggies with rice. they have to eat what they have, i dont tolerate nagging at the eating table! they will eat if they are hungry.......i also sometimes have to skip schooling because im so tired/busy.........that's life with kids and it's hard!

[kgianforti]

For me, I ration things out. There are three areas of the house I like to be kept the cleanest: kitchen, girl's bathroom and the vacuuming. I work on these at least 15 minutes every day. Then I rotate other things like our bathroom, our bedroom, etc.

I also multi-use things...like when I'm ready to change a hand towel, I wipe the sink out with it. Also, if I see toys on the floor, I'll grab them and put them away on my way to the kitchen, for example. I also make sure the girls are picking up after themselves. I never let the house get into a complete toy explosion.

If you want to give them little things to do while you are trying to get stuff done, I like this site:

http://www.dltk-kids.com/

The crafts are easy enough for a 3 and 5 year old to do alone.

[kittywitty]

Well, the honest truth is I often *don't*. I do have to say thank goodness for the wii that entertains them so I can do these things. I also heavily involve my children-even paying them if I'm desperate- to help around the house. School stuff we relax on if anything needs let go. My kids are to the ages now that they are good self-learners for most subjects and can help the little kids, so I'm not as worried about that. We're trying to streamline as much as possible!

[MyFullHouse]

For one, I refuse to pretend that I can do it all and do it all well. Prioritize!

And it really is just a process that changes as the kids get older. I give my 3 big kids different tasks, specific to their strengths. My 8yo is my dish drier, since she can reach the cabinets better and her brother is a klutz, lol. My 7yo helps with laundry, since bending at 7.5 months pregnant is killing me. My 12yo helps the younger kids with some school (mostly read-alouds) and random other tasks.

When they were 5, 2, and 1, I just focused on surviving the day!

[mediumcrunch]

I accept that I cannot do it all. We can have a good school day or a good house cleaning day or a good run around and do errands day but we cannot have all three, or even two. I have a senior, sophomore, 8th,6th,4th,1st and a 4yo who is starting to read and demands school and a 2 yo and 4 month old. Something has to give, and it is usually housework. I spend most of Saturday cleaning to make up for it.

[newcastlemama]

Your kids are really young so it will be harder to get stuff done...it will get easier s


My number one pointer is to keep things simple.

I make a priority of kitchen/eating and laundry (food and clothing are the basic needs!) and then go from there. We keep our house very decluttered so we can just pick up for a few minutes and it looks clean even if it is not all dusted, vacumed ect. I do a lot of quick cleaning where I just wipe down the bathroom counters and mirrors in a few minutes and save deep cleaning for when I have more time/energy.
I also try and get cleaning going first thing in the morning.

With food having staples and a meal plan help me. I generally plan 3-4 days out so we eat healthier and I am not scrambling to figure something out. My kids do not care if they eat the same breakfast (like oatmeal with milk) and lunch (sandwiches and fruit) a few days in a row either.

For homeschooling/activities I keep to the basics too: Bible, reading, writing, math. For activities we do park day and library day every week. Then I will add more stuff if I can (science and art projects, outings). If I feel overwhelmed by anything then we just take a day off and go for a picnic or something

[phathui5]

It goes in phases. Some weeks, the house looks great and we get a lot done with homeschooling. Some weeks, the house looks good and we don't do much in the way of school. When I'm really busy with my paid job, I get to the end of the week and realize that we only homeschooled 2-3 days.

For me, having the house in order is a priority because I've discovered that I am a nicer person when the house is organized and clean. We've even had times where we have a cleaning lady come once a month or every other week so that I don't have to stress out about the house that week.

As far as food goes, I'm at a point right now where we eat a lot of things that I can cook quickly; spaghetti, mac & cheese, slow cooker meals.

[*Jessica*]

Originally Posted by phathui5

It goes in phases. Some weeks, the house looks great and we get a lot done with homeschooling. Some weeks, the house looks good and we don't do much in the way of school.

Yes! I don't get it all done. We have weeks where I meal plan and we eat healthy, wholesome, homemade meals and have a clean house, but accomplish little for school. Other weeks we do a ton of fun projects and the house is a disaster and we're eating frozen pizza or scrambled eggs. Doing it all is impossible for me! My house is generally tidy, but I may not have mopped in a while. My laundry is all washed, but not folded or put away. My toilets are clean, but the mirrors are spotty.

But.....when I had a 5 and 3 year old my house was a disaster all the time! Life gets easier as the kids get older! They can clean up after themselves, they can do some projects independently, etc. You'll get there. Just give yourself a break in the meantime.

[lach]

I find that cooking things ahead of time and freezing them makes life go sooooo much smoother. It doesn't even have to be all that much initial, up-front work. Sometimes I just make an extra large batch of whatever I was cooking anyway (say, triple my soup recipe) and freeze the leftovers. And often I make DH do it too... I'll buy the ingredients for a few dishes and when he gets home from work he'll cook them up and freeze them.

Then, at most, I just boil some veggies for the side if the main meal isn't quite "square meal" enough. But that doesn't take all that much prep work, particularly if I buy frozen veggies.

I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and late afternoons are HARD at those ages, even if they still nap (which my 3yo doesn't). Not having to really worry about dinner really simplifies my life.

[CCJWGM]

Not a supermom here either.

What helps is simplifications, rhythms, and routines. I can't say enough about the book Simplicity Parenting!!! It has Waldorfy undercurrents but is great for everyone, even non-Waldorf. It's a must read imo.

I have a do-nothing day. I don't do any household chores but what "has" to be done such as diapers and food. This consequently is the heavy child focused day. I also have a chore day. I squeeze in as much cleaning in one day so I don't have to do as much on other days. It's not so much of a child focused day but the do-nothing day makes up for it. Our house is "surface clean" and I deep clean 2 X/year. my goal is to have every room no more than 15 minutes of cleaning away from being tidy.

Menu planning helps as well. Our diet doesn't bode well for freezer meals but I try to cook simply and use leftovers.

[Aeress]

To me, this is life, and sometimes it is messy. We did minimum cleaning this week and I am paying for it tonight cause things are trashed and we are having company over but- we did have a great school week!

And sometimes I can keep up with it all and everything from cooking good food, to cleaning to fun/good school week but honestly, those weeks are few and far between. I usually make my peace with it, about once a month I sort of freak out and work harder then next week to keep on top of everything. Overall, I am happy with how our lives are!

So, no, you aren't alone- none of us are super Mom. Hang in there!

[crunchy_mama]

You know, I don't think anyone is super-mom. I have friends that have cleaner houses and those that don't . Also, those that have different priorities, you have to decide what your own are for your family.

I have kids aged 6, 3, and 11months, so similiar. I am only doing formal school w/ the 6 y.o.- the 3 y.o. likes to color and cut and etc. The baby just nurses and finds stuff to get into.

The biggest helps to me in keeping the house decent;
1) STAY OFF THE COMPUTER
2) Scheduling weeks off- 6 on/1 off- that way it doesn't have time to get really bad
3) Basic meals - with our food intolerances I pretty much have to cook- but I often keep it really simple- I have a list of go-to meals that can be homemade in 30 min or less
4) Simplifying/Decluttering. My rule is w/ the kids stuff is that I have to have a place to put things up or we have too much stuff.
5) Basic cleaning- Laundry, swept floors, dishes, toilets. Mopping and dusting doesn't get done as often as it should, but well it is not that important to me to be honest.
6) Quiet time- 1.5-2 hrs a day for the kids to chill in the afternoon my 3 yo almost always takes a nap when I make her lie down- the 6 y.o. very rarely does, he draws, plays w/ legos, looks at books etc.
7) I expect the kids to help some according to their age and ability
8)Lastly I remember that schooling is my priority, not the June Cleaver house!

[bobandjess99]

With kids ages 1 and 3 i guess i dont think you can do anything. At least, I can't. i pretty much write off any years which have an infant or toddler in them. I guess, if you were having many children in a row, that might be impractical, but we have our 2 and frankly, I'm just waiting for them to grow up before trying to have any of those things. They are almost-3 and just-6, and it is SO CLOSE I can almost taste it most days....Another year, and I can't wait to see how awesome our lives are

[Bluegoat]

THings that I have found help - my kids are 5, almost 3, and 9 months:

The Ergo - I wish I had it sooner. I can wear the baby in it and vacuum, cook, scoop dog poop, whatever.

Simple meals: I don't often cook lunch. Raw veggies, maybe dip, fruit, cheese, bread with olive oil and vinegar, and so on. The kids actually like this better, especially if it is presented on one large tray, and it's easy. Variety from day to day doesn't seem to concern them. Dried fruit and nuts for snacks, yogurt over fruit for desserts. I cook more exciting dinners when dh is home, but when he is away, we have simple suppers too.

Basics for school. At this point, I don't think a huge school day is necessary or even always a good thing. So we do music, reading, and writing mostly every day. We try to get in some French and math a few times a week. And we do other things as they come up.

[Juvysen]

Been wondering this, myself.

[jrabbit]

THIS is why we're selling our house and moving into an RV. Of the 3 things, I prioritized:

1. entertain & educate the children
2. feed the family - snacking is easier than complex meals
3. clean house - I'm frankly tired of not keeping up, so we're chucking it all and simplifying in a dramatic way. We may hate it, but I refuse to be a slave to my house again. We won't settle down until we find a community-farm or something like that where the tasks are shared. I just really don't like feeling inadequate.

cheer up - nobody really does it "all" - unless you are MY mother ... sigh. She raised 2 kids, was the PTA, brownie, boy scout leader, had a part-time job, went to college, then med school, cooked every meal from scratch, kept an immaculate house, and always was fighting with my dad. Of course, she was also clinically depressed, made me feel grossly inadequate, and believed in verbal as well as corporal punishment. I do not want to BE her.

[AAK]

You DON'T do it all!!!!!

You do what matters most to you!

I have also found that it works better if I designate a time for mom-assisted learning. That way I am not trying to explain something while doing something else. The kids know that I am available for "teaching" between 9 and noon for sure. I will drop whatever I am doing to help them understand what they are learning (unless I am helping the other, then it is a short wait). I also make sure I read with them, do spelling, check on progress, etc. during that time.

I have been using a portfolio planning system for the school work that works well. We have a loose routine in the morning. I take a couple hours in the afternoon for most the cleaning. I rotate certain chores and do others daily. And, my girls are older than your children--therefore, they have chores of their own too. They are able to help out and they are able to play outside unattended, etc. My oldest can do most school work on her own while my middle child needs a lot of hands on and my youngest just does stuff when she wants too!

I am a Brownie leader and I run a mom's group at church. I try not to overly volunteer myself. I really enjoy the Brownie stuff--I used to do Sunday school, but hated that so I dropped it.

Recently, I have also been making a bigger effort to carve out some "me" time. It really helps improve my outlook about everything else.

Amy

[cappuccinosmom]

I don't have any real advice except to persevere and keep moving forward. I am only two years ahead of you in kids ages (7, 5, and 3, though my oldest is a mature-for-age girl) and things are so much easier than they were even a year ago.

This. A year makes a big difference. Two years makes even more difference.

Right now, with those ages and so close together, you can't do it all. This is the time when you are teaching them and learning yourself how your family is going to function in later years. Because it's a learning process, it's not going to be perfect.

Some things do make life easier though. For me, Quite Time every day has made all the difference. They don't have to sleep, but they do need to stay in bed and read or play quietly for the duration of a CD.

Also, I had a few standard go-to things for hte kids to do if I needed to clean and they were in my hair. Biggest help ever was to hand them the vaccuum. They loved that thing. Now we're in a wood floor house, so it's not so useful anymore.