I'm about to wean because of the biting. Help!

[Miss Chris]

I am just about at the end of it. I'm really sad but I don't think I can stand it any longer. My son is 8 months old and he has 6 teeth, 4 on top, 2 on bottom, and I think he might be getting 2 more on top and he has started biting me EVERY TIME we nurse. He bit me a couple of times back when he first started getting teeth about 2 months ago but I startled and put him down and he stopped.

But now he does it every time and it's getting worse by the day. We had been getting some good nursing in at night when he was drowsy but last night he started biting me then too.

I have some supply issues during the second half of my cycle and I've been taking more milk plus, which works pretty well and I think my supply is in good shape now, but he seems to think its funny.

I went into the search and looked up what to do and everyone says to say no in a firm voice and stop nursing for a few minutes or watch him and be ready to unlatch at the first sign of biting and I've been doing those things and it is actually getting worse. Also, at this point I'm so nervous about the biting that its interfering with my letdown. I'm starting to think that 8 months is a good long run and I should just give up. I can't take the constant pain and frustration for both of us.

Help!

[Marissamom]

It really sounds like he's looking for a reaction. I would try not reacting verbally, just pop him off for a bit when he does it, at least that's what worked for us.

[dakotablue]

two things that worked for me. One pulling baby really close to breast so they can't breath for a couple of seconds (stopped baby when he was first teething)

Other, no reaction at all, not looking at nor saying anything, just unlatch place baby on the floor and if needed walk away. Not getting any feedback stopped the attention biting he tried later.

[Miss Chris]

I've heard of the pulling baby in close plan but I don't have the self control to pull the biter closer to me during that moment of pain. Honestly I'm afraid he'll bite down harder and really injure me. Right now I unlatch him right before or right when he bites so he doesn't get a really good munch but he got me hard enough to bring a tear to my eye a couple of times before I got that move down. I've gotten so skittish that if he pauses in his nursing at all I flinch and pull my breast away from him almost reflexively. Then he gets upset and I get frustrated and pretty soon we're both crying.

He bites everything. I've been supplementing with a bottle during my low supply time and he absolutely chews on that nipple. (I'm sure that isn't helping matters) When I spoon feed him he tries to bite the spoon. If you give him your hand he'll put your finger in his mouth and bite it, hard. Today we were at the park with my daughter and he was standing in my lap, he leaned over and bit me so hard on the shoulder that he left a mark, through my sweater. I'm making him sound like an absolute vampire, he really is the sweetest thing otherwise. On top of everything else I'm nervous that he's going to grow into "that" toddler, the one who gets uninvited to play dates because he bites everyone. Can you tell I'm getting tired and emotional with this whole thing? When I think about stopping nursing I feel really sad, but when I think about going on with this biting I get super anxious.

I guess I can try making no reaction since he seems to think everything else I do is so funny. That's if I can manage to keep my supply up while we're struggling with this, because the other thing he does is he basically takes in the initial letdown and then gets antsy and starts biting. So we only nurse for 2 or 3 minutes on a side before he quits trying entirely and just chews on my nipple when I get it near him.

Maybe I need to let it go. I had supply issues with my daughter and in a lot of ways it stained much of her first year for me. I want to breastfeed but I also don't want to lose so much of this sweet time of his life to worry and pain and emotional turmoil. Maybe it isn't worth it? I don't know. My family is all telling me to give it up. They're worried about me and I appreciate their concern but no one understands how upset I am at the thought of weaning so early. Uggghhh.

Thanks for listening if you read this far. I needed to get it out there to people who understand....

[Calm]

Biting during nursing at around 7 months is very common. I learned this when it started with my son. I was fearful with every feed, esp during pauses just as you say. We even had a mini nursing strike because one time I yelled out (reflexively, it really hurt) and it made him cry and he wouldn't nurse for the whole day until that night. I panicked that he was weaning.

I was lucky because I didn't start solids until he was about 8 months old, so we didn't have much choice but to work it out. He was hungry, he had no alternative source of food, so he couldn't afford for me to withdraw my milk. Therefore, when he bit, and I withdrew and refused to feed him after it for a while (not just a few moments), he stopped biting. He stopped until he was about 14 months or something and then had a little nip or two but that didn't last.

I don't know your circumstances, but I can say that if I went through it again, I'd simply quit all other food supplies, to make sure he was hungry and reliant on my milk, then say loudly "OUCH!" and gently refuse to feed after a bite (so he can relate the withdrawal to the biting). I would then feel I had some control and less fear, because it is my breast at stake here, and I don't wish to live through that kind of torment just to feed my son... not with all the other stuff I have to deal with at the same time, like sleep deprivation.

No doubt there is better advice out there, but I surely didn't find any that worked so I had to create my own, and that was it. FWIW, I am still feeding and he is 2.5 years old.

[sammymama]

Hi there,

I posted a very similar thread to yours not long ago - I totally feel your (literal!) pain!! My dd did the same thing around 8 mos, and now again around 13 mos. I tried many, many different tactics and honestly the best thing for us was my not reacting *at all*. I tried to take a deep breath and relax before nursing (so hard, as you know, when you're afraid you're going to get mauled), and if she nipped I simply took her off and did not react - at all. It was really hard, but I stopped getting a "isn't this fun??" smile from her. For her first batch of biting it went away on its own in just a few days, as she seemed to be chomping down right before a new set of teeth came in, but for this more recent biting episode it was going on for over a week and I thought I was going to lose my mind. I was distraught at the thought of weaning, too.

Anyway, what worked for me best was a) not reacting AT ALL, and if I could not get her to nurse w/out biting I would get her to sleep for naps in her sling, and then I'd nudge her in her sleep with my boob until she latched on and ate; while she was so sleepy she didn't think to bite. That at least kept me from getting engorged - and creating any more negative episodes for the two of us. While she was awake I started pushing a ton of teething snacks - she has been consuming frozen blueberries, strawberries, pomegranate seeds, chunks of frozen bread, etc, by the case lately! That was a few weeks ago and happily the biting has ceased but the new teeth have not actually appeared. Also to note: about a week into that episode of biting she was also just really spazzy in general - having a hard time settling for naps, refusing the potty, starting to walk on her own, etc, so I think it was part of a big developmental time (just as the 8-9 month mark is).

Sorry this is so long-winded, but just wanted to chime in that in all probability, if you want to keep on b-f you *can* make it through this moment. And - no offense to your family - listen the most to your mama-instinct. Weaning is a really big deal - there's no going back once it's done! - so try some alternatives with your babe and see if it can resolve itself with time. Oh, and if you actually get a puncture, try to find the Jack Newman all-purpose nipple ointment to help it heal quickly. Good luck!

[Friday13th]

If he's biting everything I wouldn't discount the thought that his mouth might just hurt, maybe he's getting more teeth. When he starts to bite I'd pop him off, put him down and hand him something he can bite.

Biting sucks, I called DH in tears once because I was convinced DS1 had bitten my nipple off and I was afraid to look at it. It hurt, I yelled and I flinched while he was nursing for a while but he did eventually stop.

[Miss Chris]

Thanks everyone.

Its been such a frustrating and upsetting process but things are definitely improving. I was not able to have zero response, but I did manage to respond without jumping or yelling, just quickly and firmly removing him and setting him down and I think it helped. The joy seemed to go out of the whole enterprise for him, which was a relief.

I don't know why, but the night after I wrote my second post, when I was absolutely at the end of my rope, that night he didn't bite me at all. Maybe he realized I was about to cut him off . So after that night I was able to relax a little and I think that helped a lot. I think my nervousness was preventing the milk from letting down which was frustrating him and making him bite me and so on. So once the cycle broke things improved. He has bitten me a couple of times again but its much better.

He has been pretty crotchety lately too, like you say, Sammymama, (this boy is also named Sam, funny!). He wants to be held, he wants to be put down, he wants to get into everything and he never wants to sleep. I guess he's going through some big growing and he's figuring it all out.

He is still biting everything else around him but when nursing he's started something new, when he's done he leans back and opens his mouth really wide and grins at me. So I guess he got that much.

Thanks everyone for the encouragement. With this one, and with my daughter before my period came back really early, even with constant and exclusive breastfeeding, and once it came back the hormonal fluctuations play havoc with my supply. Combine that with the biting and I just started to feel like it was more than I could handle. Right now I can carry on a while longer. I don't think we'll make it to 2 1/2, but I hope we can make it to a year.

Thank you all.

[LeaPea]

Just wondering how things went for you all. My daughter is doing the exact same thing, and I just don't think I can do it anymore. She will be a year old on Sunday. I feel so defeated though

[MilkMentors]

It is so hard when they bite!!! My youngest is 16 months old and just got molars! He was biting, too, and thought it was funny, too. In fact anytime I say "no" in a firm voice he laughs. It sounds like you are trying everything. I hope the progress you reported continues. Have you given him anything for teething pain? I notice that cuts down on the biting. I think you will both feel sad if you stop now, especially when chances are he won't keep the biting up for long. They change so quickly when they are babies. Of course, the breastfeeding has to work for both of you or it doesn't work at all.