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Does anyone have advice on how to get a 4 year old to communicate her feelings? Her parents were never married, lives with mom and has visitation with dad and his wife on weekends. It seems that instead of expressing her feelings and/or frustrations, she will get dead quiet or kind of bite on her arm or sleeve instead. She doesn't want to talk to mom when with dad and vice versa.
Dad and wife are going to be introducing new baby brother/sister in a few months (will be telling 4 year old this week). Child and dad's wife get along really great and she seems to cling to her when mother wants to speak on the phone.
Any advice on how to integrate play or activities so we can figure out what is going on in her head?
Books, links, personal experiences or anywhere where we can read up on this would be great!

Thanks in advance!