I'd love to hear about your experience with a doula!

[Lauren82]

Hi Ladies,

I am quite sure I will be hiring a doula for this pregnancy and I'd love to hear your thoughts if you've hired a doula in the past. Do you think the extra support helped?

I apologize if I posted this thread in the wrong section.

[CinCanada]

Granted I’ve only given birth the once but it was with a doula & I would never do it any other way. My husband was a tad sceptical at first due to the cost but as my due date approached he was so relieved that there was someone else there who could share in the responsibility of supporting & encouraging me that actually KNEW what to expect & had attended births before. As first time parents this was huge for us. Yes I did have my MW but she arrived only once things were moving well along while my doula arrived a full 12 hours before that when labour was just underway to help me get to that point. (now the 2nd time around I might wait a little longer to call her). It ended up being quite a marathon labour & I am honestly so grateful to have had her there for all of that support the entire time. It allowed her to spell my husband off more comfortably so that both could eat & take little rest breaks. In the end I had both of them there for most of the time & I relied on him to just stand by me, forehead to forehead or head to chest through the contractions. It was his quiet strength that I needed. My doula did everything else. She rubbed my back, squeezed my hips, helped me in & out of the tub, knew what questions to ask, got drinks & snacks, arranged bedding, took me for walks – you name it & she did it all.
She was fantastic at home but a lifesaver again when we had to transfer to hospital. She made sure we were all staying fed & hydrated, took care of nosy family, stood in my corner & kept me abreast of what the Dr’s were doing & how things were progressing & was the calm & clear voice that penetrated the chaos the entire time.
She kept me calm & focused & alternately calmed & got laughs from my nervous new-daddy DH. Can you tell how much I loved her??

I know not all of this may apply if you’ve already delivered before but it is still nice to have someone who is there for JUST YOU in case your husband needs to step out to take care of your other little ones. Plus a doula sometimes knows exactly what you need for relief when hubby despite his best efforts can’t quite get “get it” - after all, no matter how much reading he’s done it’s hard to expect him to be an expert when he’s only seen it a few times!

[Lauren82]

Thanks for sharing, CinCanada. My husband is not the best at labor support and the midwife last time around (birth center) spent a lot of time doing paperwork while I was in labor.

[Aliy]

I loved one of my doulas. They were both great but I found on much more helpful. I ended up having two for the birth of my second, didn't have one with my first. they were great with having suggestions of things to do and very supportive of me. my hubby is great but not always the most intutive when under stress. my births were so differnt for me.. both were good but I felt much more empowered with my second as i felt like people were actually listening to me... could have been that I had two doula a hubby and my BF with me through out the labour.

I highly recomend one but make sure they are a good fit for you make sure they feel comfortable

[mamaw/two]

I had a doula with my last birth, fourth baby but first time with a doula. I have always had all natural births, but still felt like I could use some extra support. In births before that one, I remember dh always saying, "What do you want to do now?" Well, I had no idea. But with the birth with the doula, she was like a coach and would suggest things that worked well. The other really big thing that was nice about a doula was that all the hospital staff kindof knew where I stood on things just by me walking in with my doula (I did have a birth plan too). Everyone just left me alone and let me do my own thing, much more so than the other births.
My husband felt really threatened by it when I first brought up the idea of hiring a doula, he thought I was saying he didn't do good enough in my other labors. After alot of tears on my part, he let me hire her. He has said he is very glad we did and that it didn't take away from what he did to help me at all. When I told him I was pregnant this time, one of his first questions was when are we calling the doula

[bestjobever]

Both my births were with a doula. THey were very different from each other, end both very worth it. I just let myself go during labor, and having someone there to offer suggestions, provide support, and overall have my best interest in mind was very helpful. My husband just didn't really know how to help, although he would have done anything for me. With my first, I remember vomiting with every contraction, and my husband could do nothing for me. When the doula arrived, she somehow managed the situation for me to stop vomiting. As long as you trust them, and you are not embarrased or holding back because they are there, then it is WELL worth it.