Why is she waking up SCREAMING??

[gracemamma]

This is the third time this week that 15mo DD has woken up from a nap screaming as though in terrible pain. We have big teething going on here- molars and canines and my DH is off in Italy again and her sleep goes out the window when he's gone. She's up at least once in the night for an hour or two and often more than that whereas normally she sleeps well just sleepily nursing 2xish.

When this happens she is inconsoleable. At first it seems like she doesnt see me (night terrors at nap time?) but then I'm trying to hold her, kiss her, nurse her anything that will help and she screams and writhes and tries to get out of my arms. What I've found is if I take her outside, she is ok immediately. This kept me from taking her to the ER the other day- it was that scary.

So what do you think?
Lack of sleep?
Night terrors?
Teething?
Missing Papa?

It sure is scary and hard for both of us. Now she's toddling about just fine- totally ok once she's up- though styill cranky because of lack of sleep. The lack of sleep could be it as she seems to be waking up but not wanting too perhaps? Today it happened only 30 minutes into her delayed nap- delayed because we were talking with DH- is her sleep cyucle out of sync perhaps?

Would love to hear from some BTDT mamas! Thank you!
Hey and if you'd like to add--How do you ever have second kids when 1 can be so hard??!! I love her to death but my nerves are shredded and my sleep is so so little! Thanks again, mamas!

[cristeen]

My guy does this on occasion. Yesterday if i tried to touch him he attacked me. So i just sat next to him and let him have his freak out. I talk to him so he knows i'm there, but not mych else i can do. It usually takes several minutes for him to come out of it. I generally assume night-terrors, since i have them, and i know in the past i have continued hallucinating even after seemingly being awake.

Not sure if thats any help other than jyst letting you know you're not alone.

[gracemamma]

thanks, cristeen! Perhaps this is it. It is so scary and ruining her naps as she only slept 30 minutes today before waking up screaming. Do you think tyhese are brought on by something psychologically?
I have to think that her poor nighttime sleep is not helping either.
Hope things get better soon. Glad I'm not alone.

[mermaidmama]

re

It sounds like night terrors. My son has them along with sleep apnea. He has slowly been growing out of it (which I am told they usually do). He is 28ish months now. He used to have them EVERY day starting in infancy. Now he has them like once a month if that. So yea, what you describe sounds like night terrors. They can look at you and point at things and even talk but, are not really awake. It can take a while to calm them down. My son used to start breathing real weird and wimpering before he'd have one. Sometimes I would get him calm only to have him fall asleep and have another one. It can be very scary sometimes. And sometimes you can actually make it worse trying to wake them up or struggle with them. It's best just to talk quietly and let them know it's okay, mama's here. Lack of sleep, over stimulation, seperation anxiety from daddy and so many other things can cause night terrors in a child who is prone to them. Still, you might want to see a professional just in case since she also sleeps poorly. You want to rule out apnea.

[mermaidmama]

re

Oh and btw, sometimes it's hard to desribe to a dr or they think you are exaggerating as a worried mom. So what I did was, when I saw the signs he was going to have one, I video taped it and then I was able to actually show the dr's.

[gracemamma]

thanks, mermaidmama. Great info! Yeah- my husband hasn't seen this yet and I was talking about how horrible it was and he changed the subject saying -anyway, blah blah blah- and I said, No, you don't understand! This is really horrifying and scary- you don't change the subject on this one- it is a big deal! Videotaping would help-good idea! Though in the moment I gotta say, all focus is on her. One of the days, I tried to get her in the ergo carrier next to me because usually that calms her and helps her back to sleep, but it made it SOOOO much worse- as you say, we can interfere with the process. When it started happening yesterday though- same breathing and gesticulating starting I did pick her up and rock her and it worked and I was able to get her back to sleep with some nursing after rocking for awhile. It didn't happen today though. I think it is definately a reaction to DH being gone and its been a week now so she's getting used to it-night sleep is getting better too. HE goes back again in January and I am already dreading it! Poor DD! Thanks again for your help and insight.

[ChaoticMum]

My daughter did this - to the point that at 6mths of age my Mum told me 'there is something wrong with her' after me telling her for months what she did....

The crying out continued for a few years - and now, at 8 she has outgrown it. It progressed to the point that we connected her having to pee with the outbursts. If we got her up to the toilet and she peed, she went right back to sleep. That was the last stage of it anyway.

I also found it got worse when she was stressed about a change, or teething etc.

I have no advice about 'what worked' ...just wanted you to know you're not alone and that it can go away - takes awhile and lots of patience tho.

[lach]

My DD did this fairly often, and my son has only done it once. Always at naptime. I have no idea what it was. But the only thing that really helped was to put them back to bed. I don't know if that means they were night terrors (they really did seem to be awake, and my understanding of night terrors is that they're still sleeping). It was more like... a totally over the top reaction to waking up from their nap a bit early? I don't know. None of it made sense, but it was always a bit scary when it happened. So I'd quietly put them back in their crib and they'd usually be out by the time their heads hit the mattress.

[sapphire_chan]

If taking her outside gets it to stop right away, do that immediately. If, however, it still takes 5-10 minutes to get her to stop crying when you take her outside, try just laying near her and quietly offering nursing when the crying pauses. You might find that she'll go back to sleep if you wait it out and she'll have a longer nap and sleep better in general.

If she accepts touching, holding, what have you, go for it, but for dd that just made things worse.

[Pookietooth]

I found with my ds that if he was in a footed sleeper it would happen every time, but if he was not and had his feet uncovered he was fine. We also did a homeopathic remedy for it but I dont remember what it was.

[onyxravnos]

yep sounds like Night terrors. it can be hard. like another pp often if i sat ds on the potty and he peed he could go back to sleep...

[Hokulele]

We went through something similar with our DD. It was AWFUL! No one was getting any sleep and it was scary. I'm not sure if ours were nightterrors (DD would wake at 2am and scream for 2 HOURS) but we did figure out a few things to help. Now DD is 5. It still happens sometimes (a lot recently due to the scary Halloween stuff all over the place right now?)

But here's what we pinpointed:

1. lack of sleep - if she for any reason was low on sleep I could almost predict an episode. I know this is a frustrating one, because if they are doing this, they ARE low on sleep, but just stay focussed on giving her the same bedtime and naptime every single day to help make sure at least she's falling asleep with plenty of time to rest.

2. potty - just like others said. We have to cut back on drinks towards bedtime and then make sure, double sure DD has peed right before getting into bed. If not, we are sure to have an episode and she is so absolutely inconsolible/irrational once she's upset sometimes it can take an hour just to get her to pee.

When we were in the worst of it we saw two doctors. The first told me to spank her!!!! Finally I saw a second doc who agreed spanking wasn't a good idea but he couldn't offer any advice.