Feeling sad and chicken

[Carlyle]

My second nephew was born today and I'm pretty sure he's going to be circed (if he hasn't already). I sent them a bunch of anti-circ info before their first son was born, but I guess they had already made the decision and it didn't sway them. I hesitated (and hesitated and hesitated) to bring it up again this time, and finally just didn't manage to do it. It was so ineffective last time and I didn't want to lose a relationship with them. The best I've managed to do is to get my husband to talk to his mom (who is there with BIL and SIL) and let her know that they should make sure that the anaesthesia has time to sink in before they make the cut. I'm feeling so sad, especially since mine are both girls and I didn't get to add another intact man to the world...

[Lauren82]

Hey Mama. You did a good thing by giving them information the first time around. It's not an easy topic. Some people refuse to acknowledge it as harmful no matter what.

[AFWife]

Honestly, if they didn't listen the first time around there probably wasn't much you could do the second time. If they wanted info they knew you were a good source and probably would have come themselves...

[rhiOrion]

I totally know how you're feeling on this.

My sister is scheduled to be induced tomorrow (a whole different story). She's having a boy. I offered to send her info about circs. She just said she knew it wasn't my thing but that they were going to do it. She didn't leave much room to argue, no reasons for me refute or anything, and I'd said that if they'd already made up their minds that I'd drop it. So I did.

And it's paining me every day. To me it's not a rational decision, and it makes me NUTS when otherwise intelligent people make irrational decisions. But, it's not illegal and it's her baby, so there's not much I can do.

It sucks and I'm sorry you're having a similar situation.

[outlier]

Originally Posted by Carlyle

I'm feeling so sad, especially since mine are both girls and I didn't get to add another intact man to the world...

Hey now, you've added two future mama bears to the world who will know what circ is and why they won't ever let anyone do that to their sons.

I'm very sorry to hear about your nephew. Some boys are just unlucky enough to be born into families where they have zero chance of staying whole.

[elanorh]

Originally Posted by outlier

Hey now, you've added two future mama bears to the world who will know what circ is and why they won't ever let anyone do that to their sons.

Not my thread - but thanks for this. I too have two dds, no son - my siblings have all circ'd their boys and so did SIL and it makes me sad. Thanks for the perspective that at least my dds are going to be intactivists when they're adults, even though I haven't helped bring an intact boy into the world.

[13Sandals]

I agree, you will do good in the world just by making your daughters aware...plus, if your sister doesn't come back to you one day saying you were right, I'd be surprised. Circumcision is discussed more and more in the open these days, and your nephews are bound to have the conversation of why they don't have a foreskin one day. I hate that they will have to bear the knowledge of their loss, but its the only way the rest of the tide will turn.

[CherryBomb]

It's hard My neighbor had her baby a couple of months before me and circed him (like her other 2 boys). We didn't really get into it but I knew there was no way I was going to change her mind, especially since the first 2 were done. Now that I have my little guy it makes it even worse. Poor little penis is so teeny, he's so defenseless, it makes me sick to think of all the little boys who suffer through that.

[Carlyle]

Originally Posted by outlier

Hey now, you've added two future mama bears to the world who will know what circ is and why they won't ever let anyone do that to their sons.

Thanks for that...it helps to think of it that way! I just hope that the topic comes up at some point, since it's not something I can imagine bringing up without a reason. I just checked and the "Where do babies come from" book that we've been reading lately does have uncirced drawings in it though (both adult and babies!), that's cool

Originally Posted by 13Sandals

if your sister doesn't come back to you one day saying you were right, I'd be surprised.

It's actually my sister in law (dh's brother's wife)...I would feel much more comfortable talking to my sister about this than my SIL (even though she's nice and all). My sister is awesome.

[hakunangovi]

Originally Posted by Carlyle

Thanks for that...it helps to think of it that way! I just hope that the topic comes up at some point, since it's not something I can imagine bringing up without a reason. I just checked and the "Where do babies come from" book that we've been reading lately does have uncirced drawings in it though (both adult and babies!), that's cool .

At some point in the future you will find an excuse to bring it up - be it in reference to a newspaper article, a question about human rights, whatever. There will be lots of opportunities. I talked to my daughter about it in her late teens.

[Arduinna]

You know, I just have an automatic reaction of disgust anytime I hear someone say they will, are or did circ. And all attempts to spin it just don't make a difference. Sure, my dd knows in no uncertain terms that our family does not circ and she has heard her father and I discuss circ pretty often her whole life. That doesn't make me feel any better about the innocent children having their genitals cut because parents think they have the right to make the "choice". The saddest part is that we as a society don't even allow it to be called by name for what it is.

[hakunangovi]

Originally Posted by Arduinna

You know, I just have an automatic reaction of disgust anytime I hear someone say they will, are or did circ. And all attempts to spin it just don't make a difference. Sure, my dd knows in no uncertain terms that our family does not circ and she has heard her father and I discuss circ pretty often her whole life. That doesn't make me feel any better about the innocent children having their genitals cut because parents think they have the right to make the "choice". The saddest part is that we as a society don't even allow it to be called by name for what it is.

This is so true - nothing like twisting the truth. It reminds me of the story of the american and russian ambassadors having a race - the american won. The russian press qoted the results as "There was an ambassadors race. The russian came in second, the american, second from last"