Originally Posted by MeepyCat
Are you married? Would you consider it?
In MA, a pregnant woman's spouse is the legal father of her baby. (In fact, if a pregnant woman was divorced less than 300 days before the birth of the baby, her ex is *still* the legal father, unless she remarries or he submits a bunch of paperwork.) Also in MA, women can legally marry other women. You would probably still have to take some steps to assure that the relationship had legal force outside the state, but I *know* that lesbian couples have used this particular legal oddity to their advantage.
Unfortunately, the law stingily allows only two parents per child. If you and your partner both want the legal rights of parenthood, the KD is going to have to surrender.
If you're married, you'll both be able to be on the birth certificate, no matter your donor status. But, to protect you outside of the state, as pp said, you would need to do the second parent adoption. Without that, any state that doesn't recognize your marriage doesn't have to recognize the non-gestational mom as a legal parent.
-- you just need to call up the family probate court and ask for second parent adoption papers. We haven't filled them out, but things look rather straightforward (I know others on here have done this process successfully). Let me know if you want more details and I can dredge them up from my computer.