How do you "teach" your little ones?

[Casey44]

DD is almost 10 months and I'm starting to feel like a slacker in the "teaching" department. She still can't respond to anything we say like, "wave bye bye," "give me a kiss." etc. I know that every child develops at their own pace and I am ok if she does these things later than most children. I just want to make sure I'M doing what I need to do to help her learn the things she's supposed to learn.

I guess my first question is... I don't ever feel like I know what I'm even supposed to be trying to teach her? It's usually such simple things that they don't even cross my mind to try and help her learn them? Does anyone have a good resource for this?

And my second question is- how do you teach your little ones? I will model waving bye bye for her and say "wave bye bye" and then wave her hand for her. Is that all there is to it? I just want to make sure I'm doing what I can to help her learn!

[dakotablue]

So I'm a teacher of sorts... (behavioral psychologist specializing in child developmental disorders)

Honestly the best way to teach (typical) is just plain old exposure. My son only recently started waving bye...because we never did it.

Its funny because I think a lot of these 'milestones' don't really fit into what actually happens. I don't wave bye. He learned it because librarians and strangers waved to him.

DS picks up on things at his own pace. (he just turned 1) For example the bath wall letter things that cling to the wall. The first time I showed him he just knocked them over and played in the water. The second time he wanted them up so he put them in the soap dish This last time he got in the tub and started putting them all on the wall. I only showed him the first time.

The whole requiring children to do things on command doesn't work in our house. DS doesn't clap unless he feels like it, but has been able to for quite a while. Recently he claps with you as a game if in the right mood. Same thing for words. He has maybe 20-30 words he has said 1 time. He says it once to see if he can then hasn't repeated, I'm not talking about "was that?', "that kinda sounded like...", but clear, point at pig "piggy" Do you want eggs? "eggs."

We don't learn well by just repeating what others have done, often kids learn by seeing thinking about it and eventually trying. Learning to do something 'right' often means learning what doesn't work (like shape sorters)

So after my book( sorry)...reading and doing is all you need. 'Teaching' especially at this age can impede children learning their own learning process. But that's just what I think.

[JamieCatheryn]

They won't get to kindergarten unable to wave goodbye . Just be together during all the day-to-day stuff, talk to them, play with them, observe the ways they communicate, they'll get everything in their own time. Though whether they'll do anything on demand is doubtful sometimes, but then my kids are rather strong willed. It's much more rewarding to see the understanding when I say go get your shoes so we can go out, and DS (16m) does it. Or I hand him a puzzle piece and he puts it in the puzzle. Or I undress him for his bath and he runs straight for the tub because he knows that's next. I saw a friend's 13 month old who did some cool stuff on request ("how old are you?" he held up 1 finger). That's neat, but I don't need my baby to do tricks, it's not important in the long run.

[St. Margaret]

Talk to baby. Be a responsive communicator-- pay attention, react to what they "say," be accurate, and don't talk all day long nonstop.

Give lots of sensory experiences. Let baby play with water and bowls and that sort of thing.

Include baby in life. And enjoy babyhood! Nothing is required at this point!

[mamazee]

I just talk to them an interact with them and let them play. I'm not even much of a player with kids. I set them up with stuff and I read to them, though. My older one started talking and reading and all that very early, so it certainly didn't hurt her, and the younger one is doing very well too.

[Casey44]

Ooops, apparently I posted this thread twice! I thought I had posted it, but when I came back to my computer it was still on screen where it can be edited, so I hit "post." Not sure if there is a way to merge the two, but just wanted to say thank you on this thread as well! Great information for me to keep in mind during the day. I find that I forget to talk to her while I'm doing the day to day things because it's just so relaxing to me to not have to talk. Thanks for all the pointers!