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My kid has a parent.

post #1 of 33
10/23/10 at 1:57am
Thread Starter 
Elise became the first person to have a parent, according to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

Up until now, it's been possible to be listed as a mother, father, co-parent, or second parent to a child. But as of today, there is another option. Parent.

Elise and I picked up her record of birth at the Northampton City Clerk's Office, a momentous occasion that we photographed so that I can show her later because she slept through the main event.

Photo is here: http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1208/...06288f1c_m.jpg

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post #2 of 33
10/23/10 at 2:04am
I am going to sound stupid but what is the importance of being just a "parent" than a father, mother, coparent, or second parent (which I don't like because it implies importance to the first parents).

Thanks in advance for educating me.
post #3 of 33
10/23/10 at 2:13am
Papa, that's awesome! Congratulations. Did you have much bureaucracy to get through to make it happen?

My kid has a mother and a parent on his birth certificate and I've long argued that the option of parent: parent or mother: mother or whatever you an individual family prefers would be such a simple thing. DP really wishes she was listed as mother.
post #4 of 33
10/23/10 at 3:08am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marsupialmom View Post
I am going to sound stupid but what is the importance of being just a "parent" than a father, mother, coparent, or second parent (which I don't like because it implies importance to the first parents).

Thanks in advance for educating me.
It seemed like we might be gearing up for a huge fight with lawyers and ugliness because I am legally and socially male, but I gave birth to her.

I did not want to be listed as her "mother" and then have to go to court to change that - and frankly, I don't think the commonwealth wanted me listed as a mother, either, because that would mean that a male had been listed as a child's mother, which could set precedent. Personally, I wasn't worried about what precedent might be set - that's the state's job.

For genderqueer or gender non-conforming parents, the option to be listed as "parent" rather than mother or father might be important.

For single parents, there has never been an option before - it's just mother. It's not even possible to generate a record of birth through the computer system without listing a mother.

Anything that opens up options for folks is a good thing in my book, HTH!
post #5 of 33
10/23/10 at 4:02am
Congrats Papa !!

That is so cool !

Makin' babies and changing the world a little bit at the time Great !!!

Coco
xxxxx
post #6 of 33
10/23/10 at 10:04am
You guys are a posse of two to be reckoned with! Go Papa!
Congratulations!
post #7 of 33
10/23/10 at 10:13am
congratulations!!!!

i hope this makes life easier for you both!!
post #8 of 33
10/23/10 at 10:18am
Congratulations!!
post #9 of 33
10/23/10 at 10:33am
Congratulations, you are so cute and happy! I don't know exactly why but that pic of you makes my heart happy and I think I will have a better day for it. Thank you and I'm so glad you are making a difference.
sara
post #10 of 33
10/23/10 at 10:50am
That's awesome!
post #11 of 33
10/23/10 at 11:07am
Wow. Congratulations.
I am also FTM and, although I didn't give birth to our DD, I am also listed as her parent. But my DW is listed as her mother. Were you able to get her listed without a mother? I think that there has to be a mother listed here. I am not positive about that though.

We live in Ontario. Things were changed here so that none biological parents could be listed as parents without having to adopt the child. That was a big step. But so far it is only available to those who do not use a known donor...or who at least without the status of the donor identity. I am grateful to the people who came before me and fought for the rights to be listed and registered in a way that is sensible and accommodating to many.

Again, congrats on the birth of your baby and on getting registered in a way that makes sense to you, your family and setting the stage for many more to come after you.
post #12 of 33
10/23/10 at 11:39am
So awesome, Papa! Congratulations to you and little Elise! What a step in the right direction.
post #13 of 33
10/23/10 at 11:58am
Quote:
Originally Posted by FtMPapa View Post
It seemed like we might be gearing up for a huge fight with lawyers and ugliness because I am legally and socially male, but I gave birth to her.

I did not want to be listed as her "mother" and then have to go to court to change that - and frankly, I don't think the commonwealth wanted me listed as a mother, either, because that would mean that a male had been listed as a child's mother, which could set precedent. Personally, I wasn't worried about what precedent might be set - that's the state's job.

For genderqueer or gender non-conforming parents, the option to be listed as "parent" rather than mother or father might be important.

For single parents, there has never been an option before - it's just mother. It's not even possible to generate a record of birth through the computer system without listing a mother.

Anything that opens up options for folks is a good thing in my book, HTH!

Thanks for the explanation. I didn't really process your name until after your post. I just assumed you were dad by the picture.

But I do see that as issue now! Thanks. Congratulations.
post #14 of 33
10/23/10 at 1:12pm
Yay for progress! Congrats Papa! I wish some of that would rub off on my state, oh RI...so liberal in most ways and so stuck in others!
post #15 of 33
10/23/10 at 1:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by FtMPapa View Post
Elise became the first person to have a parent, according to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

Up until now, it's been possible to be listed as a mother, father, co-parent, or second parent to a child. But as of today, there is another option. Parent.

Elise and I picked up her record of birth at the Northampton City Clerk's Office, a momentous occasion that we photographed so that I can show her later because she slept through the main event.

Photo is here: http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1208/...06288f1c_m.jpg
That's awesome! What did you have to do to make this an option?
post #16 of 33
10/23/10 at 1:37pm
Forum crashing to say HOW COOL!! Congrats papa. I hope you don't have to go through a bunch of legal ugliness.
post #17 of 33
10/23/10 at 2:44pm
Many congratulations, Papa, on Elise's birth, on the powerful family of two that you have created, and for continuing to challenge a restrictive system to reflect who you are and what you deserve.
post #18 of 33
10/23/10 at 3:03pm
Good for you!
post #19 of 33
10/23/10 at 6:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaHope View Post
Many congratulations, Papa, on Elise's birth, on the powerful family of two that you have created, and for continuing to challenge a restrictive system to reflect who you are and what you deserve.
post #20 of 33
10/23/10 at 8:06pm
Wow! That's really great! Congrats!
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