Gifts

[dakotablue]

When do you give your LOs gifts. Only on occasions? Or do you do it with developmental stages?

I'm asking because Ds's birthday is in Oct. He just turned 1 and Christmas is coming. I think he'll be ready for play kitchen and food in a few months as he is already starting to imitate household chores. (He is so cute trying to sweep and not such a great helper with laundry, but tries)

but that stage is smack dab in the middle of nothing that requires gift giving and I'm afraid if I do give him all the stuff without a holiday then there will be nothing to give him for occasions.

Should I gauge Christmas for future toys? What do you all do? I know it seems silly but my Christmas's and birthdays were always pretty horrible as a kid. Then again its not like he'll remember.

Oh and what do you do for future kids when older one already has all the toys your family really needs?

[meemee]

dd gets gifts from me throughout the year. no occasion.

on her bday her bday party is teh gift.

neither do i get her a gift on xmas. the way we spend the day is her gift. she does do xmas with her dad. the whole presents and santa thing.

however we do a big halloween and big easter.

its just me. but i have never been able to wait to give dd something i saw that i knew she would like. i want to give it to her now and i do.

but i am not the norm.

dd is 8 and there is always tonnes to get. sometimes a gift is just a simple pencil, or a crochet hook and some yarn....

[Daffodil]

For a 1 or 2 year old, I would just get him the big presents whenever it makes sense and not worry too much about whether or not that's at Christmas or a birthday. He won't know or care. As he gets older, he won't be changing so quickly, so you won't have to worry so much that Christmas or his birthday won't fall at just the right developmental stage for whatever you want to give him.

But I don't just give big things on special occasions. My kids both have winter birthdays, and so if I want to get them something that can really only be used in summer, like a bike or skates, it makes more sense to buy it then.

Thinking of things to give the younger child has been a problem, especially when he was just 1 or 2. I had a hard time thinking of anything he would enjoy playing with that we didn't already have. As he got older, it got easier. There aren't that many different types of toys that are fun for toddlers, but now that the kids are older, I can always think of something cool that we don't have yet. And I can add to collections we already have - Playmobil, plastic animals, etc. And DS is developing his own interests, so there are things he wants that I never bought for his sister because her interests were different.

[ramama]

I agree with Daffodil. He won't know it's not a holiday.

For my DDs, who are 6 and 4, they can normally wait for a holiday. Our budget doesn't allow a lot of gift-giving throughout the year, but the two things we try to be free with at all times are books and art supplies. If DD suddenly develops an interest in working with pastels, for instance, we try to get her a set of them relatively soon. Stuff like that. Both of DDs' birthdays are within two weeks of Christmas, so the "need" to get them books and art stuff happens quite a bit in the long span of time between holidays.

[4evermom]

I like to get things when ds is ready for them. When he was a babe, there were things he was ready for at 6 months, 12 months, 18 months, etc, and not always a nearby holiday. If you get something too early, the child gets frustrated. If you get it too late, he isn't that interested. I'll get outside toys like trikes or bikes in the spring. If I wait until his birthday (August), it's too hot and we've missed all the wonderful spring weather.

Now that my ds is so big, I don't buy him things as often because he isn't changing so fast, developmentally. But for babies through preschoolers, I like to do it when the time is right for the child.

[~PurityLake~]

Originally Posted by meemee

dd gets gifts from me throughout the year. no occasion.

on her bday her bday party is teh gift.

neither do i get her a gift on xmas. the way we spend the day is her gift. she does do xmas with her dad. the whole presents and santa thing.

however we do a big halloween and big easter.

its just me. but i have never been able to wait to give dd something i saw that i knew she would like. i want to give it to her now and i do.

but i am not the norm.

dd is 8 and there is always tonnes to get. sometimes a gift is just a simple pencil, or a crochet hook and some yarn....

That's how I am, too. I remember how tight money was when I was a kid and how we never had money for anything and holiday shopping was limited by $$$. Although I'm living below poverty level, I still make this a priority to let my children have things that are useful/educational/fun at the age when they're most usable. Holidays are just not a huge deal for us, but they sure like Halloween and Birthdays.

[ChetMC]

Things show up when appropriate at our house. Particularly for babies and toddlers. I often buy stuff, set it aside, and pull it out when a child is ready for it.

[GuildJenn]

I don't honestly see a basic "toy library" + sports/outdoor toys as a gift. I see it as a developmental - well necessity might be a bit strong, but then the art supplies I get for myself now and then aren't either - staple? Something. So we get them when they're needed/it's the right time. (And, of course, fit in the budget.)

We keep the gift giving relatively low-key, and get other things together as a family throughout the year.

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

I don't honestly see a basic "toy library" + sports/outdoor toys as a gift. I see it as a developmental - well necessity might be a bit strong, but then the art supplies I get for myself now and then aren't either - staple? Something. So we get them when they're needed/it's the right time. (And, of course, fit in the budget.)

We keep the gift giving relatively low-key, and get other things together as a family throughout the year.

I agree with this. To me, certain toys fulfill developmental needs (no, he doesn't NEED the toys, but he does need some outlet for that stage of development so why not toys?) so I really don't consider those things gifts. We went through & purged DS's toy collection & replaced it all with different items that better fit his personality, and he went from never playing with toys to now wanting to play all the time. But, now I feel like he has a lot of appropriate toys (I like that "basic toy library" expression!), if I see things I think he'll like (i.e. at the thrift store), I am trying to save them for Christmas. His birthday is only a month later and then there are 10 months straight with no real gift-giving opportunities so I imagine I'll continue to give him things year-round as he gets older as well. I suppose you can come up with other excuses for gifts but to me, just "because I want you to have this" is a great excuse. I do the same thing with DH, if I see something I know he needs/wants, I get it for him (and only save it for a holiday if one is coming up in a couple weeks). We actually aren't big on giving gifts for holidays anyway (we don't usually do birthday gifts, or anniversary/Valentine's/etc. gifts, though we do small Christmas gifts). Might change for DS as he gets older but we prefer to just do fun family activities to celebrate.

I also think when you have multiple kids, their needs will differ, all the toys we had seemed great but they weren't a good fit for DS's personality, so I imagine when kiddo #2 comes around, (s)he will have a different personality as well and require some new/different toys.

[JudiAU]

I buy things I like when I see them. They go into my Secret Closet of Mystery for when we need a little something. Birthday and holidays usually have gifts for family. If I know what they are and like them, we don't give a gift at the same time. If I don't know what that are or I don't like them we do.

At the moment there is one book for the baby and some play food/play dough/art supplies/duplo pieces and bridge for DS. I often get something out when I am bored with playing with DS's toys. =)

[dakotablue]

I LOVE the idea of a toy library. I think that's how I'm going to have to look at it. DS is advancing so quickly with his toy play I can't see waiting until 2, but You all are right in that he wouldn't be able to play with some of them just yet, which may make them frustrated.

Thanks so much! I just needed some support to help not thinking I'm robbing him of something.
.

[LaughingHyena]

Since I buy a lot of used toys, especially the bigger items I give them to the kids whenever. I like this for a couple of reasons, not least that it helps make it a family toy rather than one child's birthday gift. These tend to be the things which I think the kids will like, rather than things they are asking for. I also like spreading the new things out a bit, it's easy to get overloaded at Christmas.

When they were younger and people asked for gift suggestions I would happily suggest things to grow into over the next few months. It was easy to put them away for a while till the child was ready. That doesn't work now as they want to play with things as soon as they get them.

When DS came along we already had what I considered to be staple toys, however we found that adding a couple of new bits to a set made the whole thing seem new again. I also think it helped DD see them as joint toys once they both had bits in the box. It didn't take much, a tube of little people or some new play food.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

I don't honestly see a basic "toy library" + sports/outdoor toys as a gift. I see it as a developmental - well necessity might be a bit strong, but then the art supplies I get for myself now and then aren't either - staple? Something. So we get them when they're needed/it's the right time. (And, of course, fit in the budget.)

We keep the gift giving relatively low-key, and get other things together as a family throughout the year.

oooh Guildjenn I like your take on this. i had never thought about needs. i never looked at it that way.

you are so right.

i know when dd was younger i think its an obvious thing that you buy stuff because they are on sale then and then give it to your child at the appropriate time as they grow into it.

my favourite thing in the world is gift giving. anyone - not just dd. the most exciting thing for me is when i find something i know is perfect for the person.

however as dd grows older i find we no longer spend so much money on things. not toys or clothes or really art supplies. we spend much more on eating out, fairs and events...

[mkksmom]

DD just turned 1 at the end of Sept. For Christmas, I'll do a few things that will be goo for now and then a few that will be good for around 18 months. I'll put the 18 month stuff up for a while and bring things out little by little.

We don't need many of the standard toys since we have an older child, and I am still debating what to do. I have a 6 yO, so I don't know how long to hang on to stuff for her. It seems wasteful to donate it and buy the same stuff again. But I'm trying to declutter/simplify at the same time.

[just_lily]

Our budget generally does not allow for large, new purchases to be made outside of a special occasion. Actually, even on the special occasions the large purchases are usually made by Granny and Grandpa.

Plus my DD's birthday is in July, so she has an occasion to get gifts partway through the year.

So this year for her birthday her big gift was her balance bike.

But that doesn't mean that she never gets anything at other times. But they tend to be smaller things, or things that I find second hand. If we are out shopping a "treat" for her is something like a pack of stickers, not a new doll. We have to save up for the big purchases so we time them with birthdays/christmas.

And it isn't just with the kid either.... i just ordered myself a new winter coat and boots, and it will be my Christmas gift from DH.