Is this Okay?

[thatgirliknew]

Okay, I have a 11.5 month daughter who is at home with me all the time. She got her 2 & 4 month vaxes, but none since and won't receive any more. Exclusively bf until 7 months and still bf'ing now (I don't know if any of this is relative, but its some background).

Over the past week or so, she has started hitting herself either with her hands, a toy, or today my cell phone, when she is upset. Today she got upset because I moved her when she was about to get hurt. She had my phone because I was letting her play with it and she started hitting herself over and over while crying. I went over and got her, picked her up and took the phone away. She was inconsolable. She's been inconsolable many times over the past couple weeks. There have been no major changes that I can think of to change her behavior.

She used to go to sleep easily and quickly. Now she lies in bed and screams for hours and tries to hit her head on the wall. (NOT CIO, I stay with her the whole time, and believe me, I try to console her/feed her/whatever I can do)

I don't want to say "Is this normal?" because I think that's a rude way of putting it, but I don't know how else to ask it... Is this just a phase or should I be concerned about something more? WWYD?

[2boyzmama]

My son started self-injuring during intense tantrums, and it really concerned me!! There's a long history, lots of details, but I'll cut to the chase. It turned out, once we put all the pieces together (and there were many!), he is an extreme extrovert, a sensory seeker (particularly deep-pressure sensory seeking), very gifted, and allergic to gluten.

A few things really helped us (he's 5 now, by the way, and the sweetest little boy, almost never a behavior issue out of him, which is a miracle!!!) the first book that gave me any insight into him was Raising Your Spirited Child. Buy it, check it out from the library, lock yourself into the bathroom, and read it. It was very enlightening. I don't know that it necessarily gave me a ton of tools to manage him, but it definitely helped me understand him. I was soon able to identify his triggers and set him up for success.

Another great book is The Out of Synch Child, which gave me a ton of tools for managing his sensory seeking behavior. He was almost entirely deep-pressure sensory seeking, which meant that left to his own devices, he would just throw himself against the wall, literally run into things, run at full force then fling himself onto the floor, etc. During a tantrum he would kick, hit (not at us, thankfully) and completely and utterly destroy a room frighteningly fast.

Those two books helped a ton, but it wasn't until we cut the gluten that we got full improvement of his behaviors. The theory is that some kids' bodies digest gluten into a form of peptic acid or amino that acts like an opiate, so basically my kid was high all the time. Cutting the gluten had almost immediate effects on him, within a week his teacher was noticing an obvious difference, within a month he was making huge progress towards catching up on fine motor skills we hadn't even realized he was delayed in.

Now...I don't mean to scare you. Some kids just go through rough patches and next week she may be back to normal. Perhaps she has a virus of some sort that is making her act abnormal. Maybe she's about to have a big cognitive jump or physical gain, sometimes that throws kids for a loop.

I started talking Ian through things at a very young age, even when I knew he couldn't speak back yet, I'd say things like "Ian, that was not nice, and mommy likes it when you do nice things, so please say 'I'm sorry mommy' and help me pick that up." Over and over, keeping it simple and focussing on what he did that made me unhappy and what he could do to make me happy. Then I introduced emotion words, I'd say to him "Ian, are you angry? Say that to me, say 'mommy I'm angry'." When he eventually started saying it, I'd respond with "Honey I'm so sorry you're angry, thank you for telling me, how can I help you be not angry?" It was a long process, teaching him how to give his emotions words and teach him how to logically work through them. But it helped a ton, his ability to communicate with me was rather impressive!!

[NataliaI]

What happened a week ago?

It is always useful to look at what was going on when new behavior started. This might give you a clue.

The Raising Your Spirited Child book is fantastic. I too recommend it.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by 2boyzmama

Now...I don't mean to scare you. Some kids just go through rough patches and next week she may be back to normal. Perhaps she has a virus of some sort that is making her act abnormal. Maybe she's about to have a big cognitive jump or physical gain, sometimes that throws kids for a loop.

oh may be she's cutting teeth. When do molars come?

It's so hard to say. Since it's new, I'm make a note of what is happening and when it started, and then give it some time.

I have one child on the autism spectrum and one neuro typical child. My neuro typical child was FAR more difficult as a baby. My ASD DD was a super easy baby.

[thatgirliknew]

Originally Posted by NataliaI

What happened a week ago?

It is always useful to look at what was going on when new behavior started. This might give you a clue.

The Raising Your Spirited Child book is fantastic. I too recommend it.

Nothing new. About 1 1/2 months ago we started keeping two other kids 4 days a week, but would it have taken that long for it to "hit her"?

[NataliaI]

Originally Posted by thatgirliknew

Nothing new. About 1 1/2 months ago we started keeping two other kids 4 days a week, but would it have taken that long for it to "hit her"?

It's hard to say. It could. It is also possible that they did something that upset her.

I am NOT implying that they did something really bad, harmful or dangerous. For a baby, things that for an older child or adult would not be shocking could be traumatic. Something as simple as shouting "boo!"

It might not even be the kids. Something else could have happened. It could be teething or a virus as someone suggested.

Always a good idea to ask, "When did this start?"

I want to be super-clear that this is not to make you feel guilty or look for issues. Just a bit of awareness that might help you figure out what is happening.

Hope you can figure it out soon.

[kanga2roo]

You might want to get her to the pedi for an ear check. If the crying is happening with laying down it could be that her ears are hurting her. Shifting fluid or ear block can be frustrating and painful. I hope she feels better soon

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by kanga2roo

You might want to get her to the pedi for an ear check. If the crying is happening with laying down it could be that her ears are hurting her. Shifting fluid or ear block can be frustrating and painful. I hope she feels better soon

I would have her ears checked as well.