Do you miss your young kids when they are at school?! - Page 2

[Drummer's Wife]

I do miss my youngest at times (he's 3, and still my baby), but TBH I dot really miss my 5, 7, and 9 yo's when they are at school. I think it's hard to imagine when they are really little; I'm sure if mine were in daycare as infants I would have missed them terribly (probably helped that I had easy babies), but as they get older, it's easier to let them go and enjoy their day away from you.

If they hate school, then, yeah, I think that would change it a bit. That's probably part of the reason I sometimes miss my youngest... While he likes preschool, he has a hard time following rules and getting along with others - so knowin that he's not having a fabulous day makes me wish I could be with him (and TBH, if I wasn't in school myself, he'd be home).

[Snapdragon]

Originally Posted by dbsam

Maybe this is the key. My husband and I discussed this thread and he reminded me that although I would rather have them home, I did better with them in school last year. They loved school, I enjoyed the time by myself, could observe their class anytime through one-way glass, and felt really comfortable with them in the school. They were not in school full days every day. This year we are at a new school and are not completely happy. The days are long and their teacher is not who I would pick. They are struggling academically and are frightened of the teacher. I volunteer often and I see my children on the verge of tears or actually crying. So...when I'm home alone I tend to worry about how they are doing. (to the point that I get little accomplished.) Even in an ideal school setting, I would rather have them home. But I probably miss them more when I believe the school setting is not ideal. I figure, if someone/place is going to take my children away from me for so many hours it had better be wonderful.

oh, that is too bad that their school isn't that great- what is the situation that means they have to be there- was the other school just a pre school? I can totally see why it feels harder if they aren't happy there.

For us I can see our big issue will be time- if I send ds to the school I really want him to go to it will be extra travel time.where we live there is lots of driving time to things. We'll see how things go- I am sure as a previous poster said, that I will feel differently when he is older than I do now with him as a baby! and the other thing is that if he is our only (still not sure about that) that is kind of different than if I had other kids at home. If I were younger I might have another kid aorund the time that ds would be starting to go to school- but I had ds when I was 37 so timing may not work so well on that! But we likely want an only anyway- now I am going off topic. !

[Alyantavid]

Well sure, I always miss my kids when they aren't with me. But knowing that they're having fun and learning helps alot. It probably helps alot that I've always worked so the kids and I are used to not seeing each other all day. But even with that, kindergarten was hard for me and I really expect when my youngest goes off to kindy next year, it'll be really rough on me.

[dbsam]

Originally Posted by Snapdragon

oh, that is too bad that their school isn't that great- what is the situation that means they have to be there- was the other school just a pre school? I can totally see why it feels harder if they aren't happy there.

For us I can see our big issue will be time- if I send ds to the school I really want him to go to it will be extra travel time.where we live there is lots of driving time to things. We'll see how things go- I am sure as a previous poster said, that I will feel differently when he is older than I do now with him as a baby! and the other thing is that if he is our only (still not sure about that) that is kind of different than if I had other kids at home. If I were younger I might have another kid aorund the time that ds would be starting to go to school- but I had ds when I was 37 so timing may not work so well on that! But we likely want an only anyway- now I am going off topic. !

I don't want to completely derail your thread! But they were at Montessori and are now at a newly opened charter school which is more traditional than I would like. I've spent years helping to organize the charter school and it is a good school...just not what I wanted.

I've been considering home schooling for many reasons, wanting more time with my children is one of them.

Maybe I'm just odd and I know I am overprotective. Today after dropping them off I heard we have tornado warnings and I wish I w/h kept them home. But I know I cannot do that with a public school.

Regarding your being 37...I was 40 when I had my children. We also liked the idea of an only child - but ended up with twins.

ok...as I posted all the air raid sirens went off. This is the sort of thing I need to get used to. I would feel better if they were with me.

[contactmaya]

Yes, i miss him (my 5yo), but i also enjoy my quiet time. I like getting around with my kids. I like us being together.

[Snapdragon]

Originally Posted by dbsam

I don't want to completely derail your thread! But they were at Montessori and are now at a newly opened charter school which is more traditional than I would like. I've spent years helping to organize the charter school and it is a good school...just not what I wanted.

I've been considering home schooling for many reasons, wanting more time with my children is one of them.

Maybe I'm just odd and I know I am overprotective. Today after dropping them off I heard we have tornado warnings and I wish I w/h kept them home. But I know I cannot do that with a public school.

Regarding your being 37...I was 40 when I had my children. We also liked the idea of an only child - but ended up with twins.

ok...as I posted all the air raid sirens went off. This is the sort of thing I need to get used to. I would feel better if they were with me.

Please do derail my thread! I would like to hear more if you want to share. Yes, I would totally feel similarly to you- tornado warning? keep them home! They are your babies-

It is hard with public school- maybe even with private school- to have the kids there 4 days a wk might feel like an interruption for the class or whatever. But I am super stubborn about things when I want to be- and I am going to try to find something that works for us. I do not want to homeschool- many reasons, but mainly because we live way out rurally and ds will maybe be an only. So the socializing of school I feel will be necessary for him. Also, I think he can get much better educated at the school I want to send him to than I could ever do for him. I am lucky I will be able to send him to a good private school (though a far drive ) I think if I only had the option of sending him to the public school in my town I would home school him. Only because of the particulars of this school ( I was public schooled very well in my youth)
but at any rate- yeah- being protective and wanting your kids to be with you more is a good and loving thing, not odd at all.

[tink79]

When DD1 went to Kindergarten and was gone all day 5 days a week, I missed her alot. She's now in 1st and I've gotten used to her being at school but miss her often, she's my bud, we hang and banter with each other so I do miss her when she's not around. But she absolutely adores school, adores her teacher and has fun everyday so I know she's good without me. If she wasn't enjoying school, I think it would be much harder.

DD2 and DD3 tried pre-school for a couple of weeks but we decided to keep them home for a while. I did miss them while they were there for that short period of time but I also discovered how nice the actual break from everyone was for a bit, although I'm sure that would probably get old pretty fast.

[eepster]

Sure I miss DS, but that's OK.

I get to go to the super market all by myself . I'm trying to find a job. I even get to go out to the salon or just wander the mall.

Best of all, when it's 3 o'clock and time to pick DS up from school, we are really happy to see each other.

[odenata]

Yes, I miss my 5 yo when she is at school. I love her little brother, 22 mo, but find being at home with a toddler by myself to be harder than having two kids.

[Danielle283]

I am a SAHM to an only child in kindergarten and yes I miss her. I sent her to pre-k 3 days a week to gradually get me used to 5 days of K! Luckily she loves school, so it's worth it so she can have a fun day. I try to get everything done while she's gone so that we can get plenty of quality time in after school.

[Hatteras Gal]

Oh, of course I miss them! But they are where they need to be and I am doing what I need to be doing (right now, I'm in school too). I'd love to homeschool but it's just not something I am comfortable doing.

[loraxc]

Yes, I do. Oddly, I think I miss her more now (she gets home at 3) than I did when she was 2 and I was full-time WOHM. She was a really difficult 2yo, though.

[arb]

I miss my kindergartner like crazy. I daydream about her while I am at work and it's especially hard because even though my work friends are very fond of her they don't want to hear kid stories all day, and that's what is often on my mind. So it's a double kind of missing.

The sad part is, and I am sure every full-time working mother can relate (I almost said "parent" but for lots of reasons I think this is generally a mom thing), I am SO eager to be reunited with her in the evening but then almost as soon as we get home I start looking forward to getting her to bed. Not because she is a taxing child (she's not) or that I don't want to do fun stuff with her (I do), but because I am often worried about both of us getting the proper amount of sleep, so my eye is on the clock.

And of course I also want some quiet time to unwind by myself or with my husband. And there's all the housework, freelance work, lunch packing, etc. It's a bummer for sure.

[expecting-joy]

Yes, absolutely! I don't miss my pre-schooler because she's only gone 2.5 hours, but  my first-grader is gone 8 hours a day and it's too much. I don't want a school raising her. I feel like they're not doing a great job, but they haven't left me enough good hours in the day to undo the damage. She loves school and I wholehearted support her going, but I sure wish it were fewer hours in the day or fewer days per week.

[HRJ]

My son was 4 when he started preschool, and he is my only child (I am PG now though but at the time we thought he'd be our only one b/c of infertility).  It was definitely wierd to be apart from him - like my right arm was missing.  And it was hard to go home b/c he is such a LOUD child, and the house was so quiet w/ out him.  I didn't like it - so I did a lot of errands and sitting in Starbucks to pay bills.  But he LOVED it, so I never really cried.  Now he's in 1/2 day kindergarten w/ lunch, and I wouldn't say I miss him.  I go home and get stuff done and get my dr appts in.  It's like having a babysitter.  He gets bored w/out it, so it's never a good thing to have too many days off of school. 

[velochic]

I've always missed my dd.  She started full-time at 3.5 and was actually still nursing then.  She seemed so small.  However, it's a one-way language immersion school and she has always THRIVED there in part because she started so young.  But yet, I missed her then, and I still miss her now that she's almost 9.  I enjoy our summers and breaks together so much!  She has always been a joy to be around, so home is just brighter when she's here. 

[littlehoneybee]

Nope.  I love when ds is in school because then I only have to deal with the two year old.  DH has been deployed for a year and a half so I'm completely burnt out.   ANY break I get from the kids is good.

[mumm]

I don't miss my younger ones.  They are only in school until 11:30 a few days a week.  That is the only time in a week I get to be alone.  (DP travels for work.)  I know this time is as much for me as it is for them.  I can't imagine being a mom 24/7 all alone without a  little break once in a while, especially if you have kids up all night so that 24/7 really is 24.

I do miss my older kids.  The school day is too long (get on the bus at 8:30; off at 4pm) especially at this time of year when it is dusk as they get off the bus.  I miss them, but mostly I miss that they don't have enough down time so the time we have together is rushed.  A couple of hours to do homework, play with friends, eat dinner, sports practices, etc.  I miss the hanging-around-needing-to-kill-time time where we would end up talking, etc.

I would love a school that meets from 9-1:30 every day.  That would be perfect!