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Why do I keep getting asked if I am circumcising my son at every appointment?

post #1 of 35
10/24/10 at 11:08am
Thread Starter 
I am 35 weeks pregnant and switched to a midwife practice at 24 weeks. At every visit they ask if I am planning on circumcising and I tell them no. There is no discussion about it but why do they keep asking? The second time it happened the midwife at that appointment asked if I knew if I was having a boy or girl, I said boy and she replied that she saw "no circ" written in my chart. She told me I would probably be asked again and just to let them know. I thought she meant at the hospital or something not at my appointments. I am glad we are clear about what is happening (or not happening) when my son is born but I don't understand why I keep being asked.

With my first son I don't remember being asked until after he was born and I told the OB we weren't circumcising and he said ok and left. (He had said my son wouldn't be able to be circumcised until we figured out his urine problem, which ended up being nothing. I said we weren't circumcising and he said ok and left).

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post #2 of 35
10/24/10 at 11:40am
Wierd. Are they possibly asking so they can share info about the process? I can't imagine they actually perform circ.

Did ask them why they keep asking you?
post #3 of 35
10/24/10 at 12:43pm
If it was an OB/GYN, I would have thought it was b/c they were hoping for a different answer, but since they are midwifes, I'm more likely to think it's to make sure you get information since they can't do it. The big question is, what kind of information (lists of urologist you can go to, or nocirc pamphlets?) they would give you if you were to say "yes."
post #4 of 35
10/24/10 at 12:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
Wierd. Are they possibly asking so they can share info about the process? I can't imagine they actually perform circ.

Did ask them why they keep asking you?
my mw preformed circs. I would ask them why they keep asking.
post #5 of 35
10/24/10 at 1:08pm
That's very odd. I've only been asked at my final prenatal with OBs and midwives if I wanted info on circ. When I replied that there is no way in heck I would circ my son, *every* care provider has said GOOD! and never asked again.
post #6 of 35
10/24/10 at 3:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by texmati View Post
my mw preformed circs. I would ask them why they keep asking.
really? I am guessing it must be a CNM, personally I wouldn't want someone that does that to babies to be my caregiver.
post #7 of 35
10/24/10 at 3:18pm
Thread Starter 
I could just ask next time. It didn't really start to bug me until after the appointment and I was thinking back to the other appointments. I just don't understand why they ask, especially as it is written in my chart! Oh well, better than assuming anything.

Only about 8% of CNMs perform circumcisions according the ACNM.
post #8 of 35
10/24/10 at 3:36pm
I was wondering if maybe they would pass out pro intact material if you said yes, maybe they are reasking because they want to make sure people haven't changed their minds?
post #9 of 35
10/24/10 at 5:10pm
We used CNMs with DS1 and they asked several times because we saw a variety of midwives and they didn't bother looking at my records before we sat down. Which was a little annoying in and of itself.
post #10 of 35
10/24/10 at 5:24pm
I think it's silly to ask you over and over. Can't they just ask after he's born if they can't read their own chart?

It is OBs here that do the circs, not the peds so it stands to reason that a MW would potentially do them.
post #11 of 35
10/24/10 at 5:28pm
My midwives asked me if I would circ if I had a boy (I didn't want to know the sex beforehand) and I replied that I would not allow anyone to perform elective plastic surgery on my baby's genitals - boy or girl.

I was only asked once...
post #12 of 35
10/24/10 at 6:46pm
Be careful.

Our OBGYN asked us on two appointments if we intended to circ our son. We said no, and that seemed all taken care of.

But at the actual birth, immediately after I cut the umbilical cord, he started putting pressure on me to circ my son. Paced back and forth, talked about how traumatized my son would be by not looking like me, how he would be teased mercilessly.

Very unprofessional. Obviously he has a problem. But under the stress of going through a long difficult birth, he could have easily persuaded someone. My wife does not even remember him doing it, and if I was not there, may well have caved in to the pressure.

Not saying they have a motive or are doing anything other than simply asking, but when you have "no circ" written on the chart, what is the point of continuing to ask?

Just be prepared in case.

Best wishes
post #13 of 35
10/24/10 at 10:44pm
I actually never got asked, even though I was known to be carrying twin boys from 18 weeks on. I was kind of offended about it in a way.

If I were being asked at every appointment I would come up with a long list of clever comebacks and use one each time until they finally got tired of being insulted.

You might ask them why they keep asking, and if they know that it's considered to be unethical to solicit unneccessary surgery.
post #14 of 35
10/24/10 at 11:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
really? I am guessing it must be a CNM, personally I wouldn't want someone that does that to babies to be my caregiver.
My sister's old midwife (who does births at FSBCs, though she moved to a different center after my sister's birth) actually performs circs. I couldn't tell you what information she gives out or anything, but it bothers me to death that she performs them. Unfortunately, I wasn't too terribly surprised...she definitely is NOT a mw that I recommend to anyone for numerous other reasons, and apparently a lot of other people agree.

My midwife is a CNM (who attends births at her freestanding birth center or the client's home) and when she asked me about it with DS I told her I was leaning towards not doing it (actually, I was 99% sure I wouldn't at this point) and asked her what her thoughts were...to which she replied, "Some people just feel like chopping off their baby's bits, and others don't." I wonder if she would have gone into detail if I hadn't said I was leaning towards no, but I distinctly got a more negative vibe on it just from that.
post #15 of 35
10/25/10 at 12:02am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
really? I am guessing it must be a CNM, personally I wouldn't want someone that does that to babies to be my caregiver.
yup. she won't do episiotomies though. That's just barbaric :rollseyes:


My ped discourages people from circing, but still preforms them. I don't understand how dr's can do that?
post #16 of 35
10/25/10 at 12:20am
Quote:
Originally Posted by texmati View Post
yup. she won't do episiotomies though. That's just barbaric :rollseyes:


My ped discourages people from circing, but still preforms them. I don't understand how dr's can do that?
As much as I hate to say it, perhaps it's a matter of, "If you're going to do it no matter what I say, I may as well do it myself so that at least it will be done with anesthesia and not completely botched."

Of course, I would NEVER, EVER perform circs myself if I were a MW/OB/ped, but I can sorta see that as a possible reasoning for some HCPs who don't like circ but still do them. Though I would hope they donated the circ fee to some foreskin-friendly charity...
post #17 of 35
10/25/10 at 12:37am
Quote:
Originally Posted by texmati View Post
my mw preformed circs. I would ask them why they keep asking.
wow. How did she react when you said no after she $olicited a penis $urgery for your healthy son?
post #18 of 35
10/25/10 at 12:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zenbuoyant View Post
wow. How did she react when you said no after she $olicited a penis $urgery for your healthy son?
She didn't. This was very, very late in pregnancy. I mentioned to her that I was afraid ds would be circed without our knowledge, and she said not to worry that it would have been her doing the circ, and she knows not to do it to our son. it still doesn't make it ok. I felt differently about circ pre kid though... it bother's me so very much more now than it did before I saw my perfect whole ds.
post #19 of 35
10/25/10 at 12:49am
Quote:
Originally Posted by smeep View Post
As much as I hate to say it, perhaps it's a matter of, "If you're going to do it no matter what I say, I may as well do it myself so that at least it will be done with anesthesia and not completely botched."
I think this is the case for many docs. Have one who has told me this is the reason she will do them.
post #20 of 35
10/25/10 at 1:06am
It might be they don't regularly have someone there to preform circs so they are making sure you dont' want one because if you did they needed someone there. I know its one of the first things they ask in the postpartum floor here if you are having a boy because they want to know if they have to arrange for a ped to come down to do the circ. They asked me if I intended to circ my child.. my female child... so obviously docs/nurses don't necessarily look at your chart.
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Health › Circumcision › Why do I keep getting asked if I am circumcising my son at every appointment?