Why do I keep getting asked if I am circumcising my son at every appointment? - Page 2

[Zenbuoyant]

Originally Posted by texmati

She didn't. This was very, very late in pregnancy. I mentioned to her that I was afraid ds would be circed without our knowledge, and she said not to worry that it would have been her doing the circ, and she knows not to do it to our son. it still doesn't make it ok. I felt differently about circ pre kid though... it bother's me so very much more now than it did before I saw my perfect whole ds.

It disturbs me greatly that any care provider would solicit an arbitrary genital surgery. Especially when the risks of surgery (compared to leaving it intact) are so great.

Naive parents may think, "If she's asking it must be a good thing. Surely she wouldn't offer something that could cause [meatal ulcers, infection from a vulnerable wound, meatal stenosis, seizure, heart attack, stroke, loss of penis, fibrosis, hemorrhage, DEATH!] any harm..."

If they've gotta know, why not rephrase the question:
"Will you keep your son intact?"

MisaGoat, I encourage you to bring this up at your next prenatal. Simply express how annoyed you are that a holistic care provider would even question if you would want to reduce your son's healthy penis. There is nothing [W]hol[e]istic about that! And ask them what kind of education they provide their clients regarding a complete set of male genitals. What do they know about an intact prepuce organ? What are their credentials? as in, how knowledgeable are they about the normal intact male genitals?

[PlainandTall]

You need to write a letter of concern/complaint. Ask them if they have considered the message they are sending by their repeated questions in the absence of information which supports genital integrity. Tell them that solicitation for a non-indicated surgery is unethical and ask how much money they make on it. It's an outrage and I would leave the practice over it (and tell them why) but if you don't feel you can't do that- you should at least make a point of the fact that their repeated questioning over this is not only unethical- it's emotionally distressing to you to think of that happening there, or happening to your son and you do not want the subject to be brought up EVER AGAIN.

[MisaGoat]

I can ask about it at my appointment next week.

I don't really think they are 'soliciting' for a circumcision, just asking what my plan is. Also I don't know that they even perform circumcisions, my guess is that they would have to arrange for someone at the hospital to do it. I can't know what they would say if I were to say "Yes, I am circumcising." Would they educate me on the procedure, try to change my mind?

I am not over the top offended, just annoyed because I don't see why they need to ask more than once. It has been a different person each time so it may just be that they normally ask when they first see a patient.

[PuppyFluffer]

I'd return the question with "Are you going to have (insert what ever cosmetic surgery might be appropriate - breast enhancement, nose job, chin tuck) done?" and then smile a big Cheshire cat grin and wait to see if the message sinks in. but....I'm sassy like that!

[Purple Sage]

I got asked the same question at every appointment from 34 weeks on when I was pregnant with my son. Every time I'd say "no, it's his penis, his choice" and the nurse would laugh and look surprised. It was very annoying.

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by smeep

As much as I hate to say it, perhaps it's a matter of, "If you're going to do it no matter what I say, I may as well do it myself so that at least it will be done with anesthesia and not completely botched."

Of course, I would NEVER, EVER perform circs myself if I were a MW/OB/ped, but I can sorta see that as a possible reasoning for some HCPs who don't like circ but still do them. Though I would hope they donated the circ fee to some foreskin-friendly charity...

I'd have to question how pro intact they really are under those circumstances. Because just the thought horrifies me. There is no way I could rationalize myself into doing it.

[KempsMama]

It's probably because most insurance doesn't cover circ, so if you are planning on circing they have you fill out a financial responsibility form prior to the birth.

(Before anyone starts throwing tomatoes, I used to work in a hospital and this was the procedure.)

[serendipity22]

Originally Posted by Arduinna

I'd have to question how pro intact they really are under those circumstances. Because just the thought horrifies me. There is no way I could rationalize myself into doing it.

They are not pro-intact at all. They are all just fooling themselves and others.

Actually, its unethical IMO for medical personnel to ask about circumcision at all. A subtle form of coercion.

Its a practice which increases the rate of circumcision.

Asking more than once is emotional abuse, patronizing and harassment. It should be reported.

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by KempsMama

It's probably because most insurance doesn't cover circ, so if you are planning on circing they have you fill out a financial responsibility form prior to the birth.

(Before anyone starts throwing tomatoes, I used to work in a hospital and this was the procedure.)

Note, I am not asking this to attack you personally, why can't the procedure be to say nothing unless the parents ask?

[MisaGoat]

Originally Posted by Fellow Traveler

Note, I am not asking this to attack you personally, why can't the procedure be to say nothing unless the parents ask?

I think it would be great if that became the standard. It is an elective procedure so I don't seen why it needs to be asked about/offered.

[KempsMama]

Originally Posted by Fellow Traveler

Note, I am not asking this to attack you personally, why can't the procedure be to say nothing unless the parents ask?

It's a financial thing. The docs who do the circs weren't getting paid because patients didn't realize it would be out of pocket, so now patients have to sign paperwork ahead of time acknowledging the cost and setting up a payment plan. Since most people still circ around here, they ask every patient. It's not about pressuring anyone into doing it, rather it deters more people because they don't want to pay for it out of pocket.

They ask as part of your pre-registration for the hospital, done with an OB nurse around 36 weeks. It's the only time you hear about it if you say no.

[calngavinsmom]

Originally Posted by Fellow Traveler

Note, I am not asking this to attack you personally, why can't the procedure be to say nothing unless the parents ask?

Originally Posted by MisaGoat

I think it would be great if that became the standard. It is an elective procedure so I don't seen why it needs to be asked about/offered.

ITA I will even take it one step further, circumcision is not a medically beneficial procedure so it should not be offered in a medical setting.

It cannot be made illegal in North America because of constitutional religious freedoms, but imagine the impact if it were banned in the medical community.

Europe has started with this Australia has bannings in place and the latest I have heard of is in British Columbia Canada hospitals are no longer offering elective circumcision. Unfortunately there are still doctors lacking ethics who have opened clinics to fill the gap, but we are headed in the right direction.

Take care

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by MisaGoat

I can ask about it at my appointment next week.

I don't really think they are 'soliciting' for a circumcision, just asking what my plan is. Also I don't know that they even perform circumcisions, my guess is that they would have to arrange for someone at the hospital to do it. I can't know what they would say if I were to say "Yes, I am circumcising." Would they educate me on the procedure, try to change my mind?

I am not over the top offended, just annoyed because I don't see why they need to ask more than once. It has been a different person each time so it may just be that they normally ask when they first see a patient.

I would be curious what they say. If you remember, please post back to this thread. I can't really think of a valid reason they would need to ask more than once or twice. It's obviously in your chart, so no need to keep going over it.

Originally Posted by serendipity22

...Asking more than once is emotional abuse, patronizing and harassment. It should be reported.

I disagree that it's emotional abuse, but I definitely think it's patronizing.

[K703]

Originally Posted by calngavinsmom

It cannot be made illegal in North America because of constitutional religious freedoms, but imagine the impact if it were banned in the medical community.

I don't know about Canada, but it could probably theoretically be banned in the U.S (remember that the two countries do not have identical legal and government systems, even though a lot of people describe "North America" and lump them together). I'm not a lawyer, but if I understand correctly courts have ruled in other areas that "freedom of religion" applies only to the right for YOU to practice a religion YOURSELF and not when it comes to applying your religion's practices to others. (Some people even say that the FGM law could be considered unconstitutional on the basis of the government not providing equal protection if it isn't changed to apply to males as well.)

[bestjobever]

Originally Posted by Crunchy Frog

You might ask them why they keep asking, and if they know that it's considered to be unethical to solicit unneccessary surgery.