Taking away the pacifier

[jgmn]

I swore I would never have a binky baby and here we are 19 months later with a binky.

It's gotta go so I am looking for suggestions on how to go about doing it.

[fairejour]

My daughter had a paci for a long time. We waited until she was developmentally ready to give it up rather than take it away from her. We believed that the psychological benefits of her not having her comfort item taken from her outweighed our discomfort!

[jgmn]

Originally Posted by fairejour

My daughter had a paci for a long time. We waited until she was developmentally ready to give it up rather than take it away from her. We believed that the psychological benefits of her not having her comfort item taken from her outweighed our discomfort!

That's a good way to look at it.

[Adaline'sMama]

Well, we are currently weaning her from the paci, and we have found that she loves her Nuby sippy cup with a silicone "nipple". She sucks on it and plays with the cup. Its made her kind of bored with the paci unless its bedtime.


eta: have you taken her to the dentist yet? I know there are a few kid dentists around here that have paci's hanging from their ceiling. When the kid goes to the dentist, he takes the paci and shows them that its being hung up "for good". Maybe 19 months is a little young to understand that though.

[jgmn]

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama

Well, we are currently weaning her from the paci, and we have found that she loves her Nuby sippy cup with a silicone "nipple". She sucks on it and plays with the cup. Its made her kind of bored with the paci unless its bedtime.

Oh, we have a nuby cup, maybe I will try that.

[purplepaperclip]

The paci fairy came to visit when my dd was maybe 2 1/4 ish. She left a couple cool presents in the car and bedroom and took all the pacis to new little babies. Worked AWESOMELY!
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[LynnS6]

why does it have to go at 19 months?

Our ds had a pacifier until he was 4. Many children nurse that long, and so I view pacifier use like that. If a child has a need to suck and can't/won't nurse, then a pacifier is an OK substitute.

In our son's case, he wanted to suck, but he didn't want to deal with the milk. It took me a month to figure out between 4-5 months that when he was tired, the reason he would start screaming when my milk let down was because he wanted to suck, but not to actually nurse. The pacifier helped him fall asleep without having to deal with the milk let down.

What I would do, however, is limit its use. Ds got the pacifier: In bed and in the car. Period. It is not a good idea, I think, to let a child walk around with the pacifier unless they have an insatiable need to suck. So, we'd keep ds' pacifier in his bed, and he could go get it when he needed it.

When he turned 4, it was relatively painless to wean him from it. We actually lost the last one. Dh tore the house apart looking for it (I wasn't home), but couldn't find it. Ds had a few tears at bedtime the first 2 nights, and then was fine. He found the pacifier in a toy box about 6 weeks later. He put it in his mouth experimentally, took it out and threw it in the toy box again. He never looked back.

[pregnant@40]

Originally Posted by fairejour

My daughter had a paci for a long time. We waited until she was developmentally ready to give it up rather than take it away from her. We believed that the psychological benefits of her not having her comfort item taken from her outweighed our discomfort!

We did this, too. Our dentist said there was no harm in letting our son decide. He gave it up shortly after his 5th bday (ie. he was only using it at nights at that point, to fall asleep). Long time, but no biggie in the long run.

[Polliwog]

Our pediatric dentist said not to worry until four or five unless the child was walking around with it.

My DD will be four in February. My plan was to let her keep her pacis until they either got lost or fell apart. She only used hers when she was going to sleep or if she was really upset (usually because she was overtired.) Three nights ago, she had a drink before bed and put her paci down. I've got no clue where it is. The first night was rough. She cried as she was falling asleep and then woke up in the middle of the night crying. The past two nights she cried for a long time but then she fell asleep snuggled next to me. I think we might be over the hump. She hasn't asked for it during the day at all.

[Areia]

We went the Build-a-Bear route recently. She'd been weaned at around 1.5, but my dad reintroduced once while he was baby sitting and she was having a very rough time. She's 3 now and was very excited picking out her "binky bear" - it's one of her favorite toys. She asked for the pacifier the first few nights and we had to remind her it was in the bear. I think feeling the pacifier in the bear is comforting to her. There was some Build-a-Bear kits in Target recently for around $12.00, but not much of a selection.

[Polliwog]

The BAB thing would NOT have worked for my DD. She would have liked the idea (maybe) in the store but would have ripped apart the bear looking for it.

I'm hoping that I'll find the missing pacis before she does.

[Llyra]

Two of mine have been paci kids. With both of them, we chose to go the let-them-decide route (after some trial-and-error: see below). Starting at age two, we limited its use to the house, and around three we limited it to in bed, on a lap, or in the car.

With DD1, when she turned four we agreed we wouldn't buy another one-- when the current one wore out, that would be it. It happened about three months later-- it got a little tear and didn't "work" anymore. She moved on her own to sleeping with it clutched in her hand. Her teeth are fine. She's six now.

DD2 is 3 1/2. At this point, she has decided on her own that she's a "big girl" and can sleep without it. But in her moments of stress, she'll ask me to let her have it for a few minutes. She uses it to help pull herself together when she's having trouble dealing with her emotions. The rule is she has to be in either her bed or mine, while she's using it, and when she gets down, she puts it away in my bedside drawer. Her teeth had moved a little forward, but within a month or so of her stopping sleeping with it, you could already see that they'd started to move back.

Our dentist's advice was to strive to have them done with the paci before they started to lose their milk teeth-- so by around five. He was the one who emphasized with me, though, that the quantity of time matters-- that using it for ten minutes to fall asleep or recover from a tantrum is very different from walking around with it in the mouth all darn day.

I can understand that it bothers some people. But at 19 months, I think that the various benefits of baby having a comfort object far outweigh any squeamishness that adults have about it. I might limit its use to in bed, in the car, or on a lap, rather than letting baby walk around with it. But I wouldn't go farther than that. If baby sleeps with it, you might try easing it out of baby's mouth once baby is soundly asleep.

I tried taking the paci away from DD1 at this same age, and it backfired on me horribly. We'd lost her best source of comfort, and the best way to help her through things like tantrums. And without it at night, she started sucking on her lower lip instead, and walked around for four months with a big ugly blister on her face, until I got wise and gave the paci back to her.

[K1329]

And without it at night, she started sucking on her lower lip instead, and walked around for four months with a big ugly blister on her face, until I got wise and gave the paci back to her.

Both of my kids were/are binky babes - ds still uses one at night at almost 4. I'm not worried about it - he'll give it up soon enough, and, he's fine without it at preschool/during the day. Our dentist also agreed - most pacifier-related teeth issues self-correct.

I'd be much more worried if he was a thumb/finger sucker - I've seen plenty of kids still sucking their thumbs at 8, 9, 10, etc!

[dakotablue]

I did a paci party for a family I was working with (they had triplets) So for their 3rd birthday we had a song for the paci's put them in a box and they went for other babies to use (otherwise known as the trunk of my car where they sat for a few months before I remembered to throw them away )

It worked really well and was a nice rite of passage.

Their mom got rid of them mostly because it was a HUGE pain every night trying to find three.

[2goingon2]

My son was addicted to his paci - called it his pappy. He had it in the van and at night and nap at home. Not at daycare or any other time. We could see it affected his speech and his teeth. He has a very narrow palate now and his two front teeth stick out.

He fell in August at daycare and as it turns out, loosened one of his front teeth. When we took him to the dentist, he could tell right away that he had a paci and showed us the damage it had already done. We had wanted to get rid of it for awhile but neither one of us were brave enough until we saw the x-rays. Also, sucking on it was going to continue to loosen his tooth.

So, we discussed how his 'pappy' was hurting his teeth (oh and he turned 3 in September so he had some idea what we were discussing) and that it was time to say bye-bye. When we got home, we gathered them all up and drove down the lane to the dumpsters. He picked which one he wanted to toss them in and did the deed. We threw in wildflowers and we thanked the pappies for their help and love and then told them good bye and went back to the house and let him have cake for supper.

Everything was okay unitl it was time for bed...he wanted his pappy. All the talking in the world was not going to help so we distracted him with a movie for a bit. It ended up being a rough 2-1/2 hours and I finally put him in the van and he fell asleep within 5 minutes. Slept through the night and the next night he asked for his pappy and we reminded him that they were gone. He whined for about 2 minutes and was over it. He has been fine without it ever since.

So long story short - cold turkey is what worked for us.

[nextcommercial]

I waited til my daughter was almost four. I figured she needed it, and it was fine. My dentist said it was fine too.

But, when she was ten, her teeth were badly misaligned. Her top jaw stuck out over her bottom jaw. The new dentist saw her and asked if she had the pacifier for over a year.

She still would have needed braces, but not all the extensive work she had done. At one time, she had three devices in her mouth. One to spread the roof of her mouth, one to push her bottom jaw back out, and braces to push her top front teeth back down. She was uncomfortable and embarrassed. Both the dentist and the orthodontist said that if she hadn't had the pacifier for so long, she wouldn't have needed so much work done.

At age three, it seemed like a good idea to let her have the pacifier until she was ready to give it up. (it was ALWAYS in her mouth) but, at age ten, I wished I could have had a do-over.

Not every kid will have problems later in life from the pacifier. Especially those kids who only have it to sleep with. But, it's hard to know. My daughter didn't show very obvious signs of problems until about third grade.

[cjam]

My DD gave it up right around her 3rd birthday. I had a very strict bed-only rule about it. It made bedtimes a breeze because she was looking forward to her paci. After she fell asleep I'd pop it out of her mouth so that she wasn't sucking it all night long. Once in a blue moon she'd wake up in the night and cry for it so I'd give it back to her. At 3 she told me I could give it to another baby.

[JudiAU]

Why does it need to go? It is normal to have sucking needs through 3+ There is little or no real evidence of harm to teeth. Why not set a few limits and let your child decide when they are done with sucking needs?

[ChetMC]

Agree

I agree with the other posters. A pacifier at is a non-issue for me as long as your age is measured in months. As kids get older it's reasonable to set limits, but ideally, kids should give up comfort and transition objects willingly.

[loraxc]

I'm confused by the post about the dentist showing the damage the paci had done. I have read many times that pacis don't become a problem till permanent teeth start to come in. FWIW, my DD had one at nap and night till nearly 4 and my DS seems to be on the same track. DD's teeth are fine.