Feeling so guilty:(

[honeybun]

My 6 month old baby girl got pertussis. It is truly horrible. I hate how she has to suffer because I did not give her the vaccine. I truly believed that I was protecting her by not injecting this stuff in her. Now I am doubting if I made the right decision. The people don't help with my guilt at all. One friend asked me today:"Knowing what you know about it now, would you have vaccinated your daughter if you were given a second chance?" It made me feel so horrible as a mother. I feel like I failed my baby. The docs and nurses gave me this evil look. The people at work are not better. As if they are saying that I am the reason for my baby's suffering. I wanted just the best for her. I am so sad

[earthmama369]

Mama. Illness happens. You really can't control it completely, you know? I'm not sure what to say about what your friend said to you. It doesn't make sense to me. According to the CDC website, she wouldn't have been completely through the initial vax cycle anyway. She would have had only the first two doses by the time she was exposed. There's no way to say whether or not that would have protected her. Second-guessing yourself in that kind of situation, when there's really no way to know what would have happened, is only going to make you crazy. I hope your little girl feels better soon.

[HRJ]

I will tell you what my pediatrician told me (she's a vaccine friendly ped). I was trying to decide whether or not to give my son the Dtap, but we have a lot of autism in the family. I told her I had been in tears b/c of my decision and asked why being a mom had to be so hard? And she said, "you know what the problem with being a mom is? No matter what you decide, it's your fault. If you don't get the vaccine and your baby get's sick, you feel like it's your fault b/c you could have gotten the vaccine. And if you get the vaccine and your child gets a horrible reaction or becomes autistic, well it's all your fault b/c you knew better and knew you could have declined the shot." Either way, you can feel guilt.

I think the question that your friend asked you was totally unfair. The Dtap is not without risks either, and there are plenty of people on this board who have had serious vaccine reaction experiences with that vaccine.

I really hope that you can get through the illness in a way that can make you get to the other side and say "it totally sucked, but it's done and vaccine damage cannot be undone." I had a dr once that said 'most vaccine preventable diseases can be treated, but I have too many patients that will be in diapers the rest of their life due to vaccines.'

BTW, our ped prescribes the antibiotics as well as inhalers and singulair. I have heard - even on these boards - that the inhalers made a lot of difference. I'd ask for one.

That vaccine is only 77% effective when all the doses are given, and there are a lot of people on these board that have fully vaxxed kids that have gotten the disease.

[Emmeline II]

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Edited by Emmeline II - 11/16/10 at 1:26pm

[carriebft]

With the vaccines we have chosen not to do, we have really come to terms with the realities of them getting those diseases. In that process was a lot of looking into how to treat them, when to go tot he doc, alleviation techniques vs cures, tricks and things that worked for other moms whose children had those illnesses etc. So, for example, since we decided to forgo rotavirus vaccination, we have really looked into how to handle that particular disease.

perhaps this would help you feel better, to have those tools with you before coming into contact with the bugs.

[MamieCole]

Originally Posted by carriebft

With the vaccines we have chosen not to do, we have really come to terms with the realities of them getting those diseases. In that process was a lot of looking into how to treat them, when to go tot he doc, alleviation techniques vs cures, tricks and things that worked for other moms whose children had those illnesses etc. So, for example, since we decided to forgo rotavirus vaccination, we have really looked into how to handle that particular disease.

perhaps this would help you feel better, to have those tools with you before coming into contact with the bugs.

Totally agree.

[MountainMamaGC]

How is your DD doing? I would feel guilty too. Pertussis is the one disease that scares me the most, but I had a really bad case when I was 7 and I was fully vaccinated. The failure rate of the vaccine and the short period of time that its dangerous is what helped me decide to not get it. However, if my DD caught it as an infant, these words would offer little comfort to me.

I hope your baby gets better soon.

[lordeeme]

Yes, as a mother of 5 who made the decision not to vaccinate 25 years ago. I also decided to learn all that I could about the diseases and how to treat them holistically should they become sick. I also knew that I would not be taking them to any allopathic doc for treatment and would rely instead on alternative practitioners should I need help. Homeopathy has always been my first defense and way back then, there was no online help availabe.

It is hard when our babies are sick regardless and we always wonder if we should have done something differently to prevent it. Guilt is part of motherhood regardless. I suggest that you not talk to those that will belittle you or try to guilt trip you but rely on those who support your decision for advice and encouragement instead. There are plenty of us out here who will do just that.

You absolutely did the right thing and the chances are very good that your baby would have gotten it even if you let them give her vaccinations. And it is also likely that she would not recover as well as she will now because her immune system would have been compromised. Once you are past this, you will both be better for it. Hugs!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I was thinking that the DTaP didnt offer any protection until after the 2nd or 3 round of them anyway so if that is the case then your dd could very well have gotten WC anyway (someone correct me if I am wrong about the amount of shots needed for protection)

that your dd has a fast and uncomplicated recovery.

[honeybun]

Thank you, ladies! This board has been such a wealth of info. My baby is doing better (knock knock on wood!). We are almost 3 weeks into it. My 3 yo DD also has it, but much less coughing. Still makes me mad because she had 4 DTaP shots! I have been doing SA like a mad woman here.
I just pray that we are past the worst part and on the way to recovery here.
BTW when I asked the doctor in the ER about SA, she told me she had never heard about it!

ETA: When I told the nurse that my older DD also has it, just was not tested for it, she told me," Oh no she had all of her shots!" And added, "in about 2 weeks you should give your baby DTaP so that next time she would be protected from pertussis". I did not even bother to argue with her!

[HRJ]

I was just at my ped's office where they have a sign up that if you have a cough, you need to wear a mask. I asked if it was b/c of whooping cough, and they said 'yes'. Then I asked if it was vaccinated or unvaccinated kids getting it, and they said both. Then I asked if the vaccinated kids are getting less severe cases, and they said not necessarily - that they had caught various cases in various stages so it was hard to say. Some of the vaxxed kids were caught earlier.

If the pertussis test weren't so painful, it would have been nice to have your older daughter tested just to show your drs that - yes - vaccinated children get it too. But I hear the test is painful.

[stephbrownthinks]

I just wanted to add that having the vaccine wouldn't necessarily have helped. After getting the pertussis vaccine as a child I verbally regressed and would only turn my head to one side for weeks. My mom freaked out and felt terrible, so for my next sister she decided not to have her vaccinated. She contracted whooping cough terribly. Because of that, she had my youngest sister vaccinated as well and SHE got whooping cough even worse than my middle sister. So, sometimes you just can't win.

[VAERS]

Here is an article that reported that Two-thirds of Whooping Cough cases were vaccinated. The vaccine has been shown to be ineffective in preventing the disease. The dangers inherent to the shot do not make this phony medicine worth the risk/money.

A person with an uncompromised immune system will pull through any disease that there is a vaccine for, even polio.

[VAERS]

Furthermore, the chance of being harmed by the vaccine itself is far greater than being killed by Pertussis. WholeFoodUsa Reports:

1 in 1,750 chance of having a severe immediate reaction to pertussis vaccine.

1 in 6,000,000 chance of dying from the illness itself.

[vegankelly]

Originally Posted by honeybun

Thank you, ladies! This board has been such a wealth of info. My baby is doing better (knock knock on wood!). We are almost 3 weeks into it. My 3 yo DD also has it, but much less coughing. Still makes me mad because she had 4 DTaP shots! I have been doing SA like a mad woman here.
I just pray that we are past the worst part and on the way to recovery here.
BTW when I asked the doctor in the ER about SA, she told me she had never heard about it!

ETA: When I told the nurse that my older DD also has it, just was not tested for it, she told me," Oh no she had all of her shots!" And added, "in about 2 weeks you should give your baby DTaP so that next time she would be protected from pertussis". I did not even bother to argue with her!

sorry, what is SA?

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by honeybun

Thank you, ladies! This board has been such a wealth of info. My baby is doing better (knock knock on wood!). We are almost 3 weeks into it. My 3 yo DD also has it, but much less coughing. Still makes me mad because she had 4 DTaP shots! I have been doing SA like a mad woman here.
I just pray that we are past the worst part and on the way to recovery here.
BTW when I asked the doctor in the ER about SA, she told me she had never heard about it!

ETA: When I told the nurse that my older DD also has it, just was not tested for it, she told me," Oh no she had all of her shots!" And added, "in about 2 weeks you should give your baby DTaP so that next time she would be protected from pertussis". I did not even bother to argue with her!

See you have no reason to feel guilty here obviously having the shot didnt prevent your older dd from getting it so she ended up with all those chemicals in her body for no reason. So for me you avoided the chemicals with your younger dd so she is better off.

A similar situation for me both my kids recently had cp. My dd did have the cp vax but my ds did not. My dd broke out worse with the pox than my ds. When I told people who knew I didnt vax I got that "see what happens" look and I was quick to point out that apparently the cp shot was just useless for my dd and caused her issues for nothing. I wish with all my heart I had found out about not vaxing when she was a baby. I feel very strongly that she would be a normal little girl without allergies, eczema and asthma if she hadnt gotten those stupid vax.

[OkiMom]

Ive known quite a few people who's children got pertussis even though they were fully vaccinated. The vaccine doesn't prevent the illness all the time, its not 100% effective. Reminds me of the college few years back that was bragging about having 100% vaccine rates and how wonderful they were because they vaccinated everyone for free etc.. then there was a horrible breakout of pertussis on campus and everyone was trying to jump in to defend the vaccine saying they had to have missed one and ignoring the fact that vaccinated people were still getting the disease.

[bcblondie]

Just jumping in to say, I really like this thread. lol. Every single post was insightful.

OP. You made an informed decision. I'm sorry your child got sick. But clearly, vaxing wouldn't have guaranteed she wouldn't have, and then you would have had vax side effects to worry about.
Your baby will recover. Lots of hugs.

[mmhinton]

OP - just wanted to say that 1) I feel for you. It is ALWAYS difficult when our lo's are sick and 2) regarding feeling guilty - I understand...though EVERY day I feel guilty that I did allow ds1 to have vaxes for his first yr of life. (ds2 has not had any and ds1 has not had more). I guess my point is - our lo's usually recover from being sick (even with something as bad as whooping cough) in our society....but, once the vaxes have been injected, that stuff is in them forever....and may, or may NOT protect them from the very illnesses they are said to be immune to.

Good luck with you baby girl and hoping she is feeling well!