I'm looking for some suggestions to help make decision making easier and less stressful for my 4.5 yr old son.
He used to be able to make decision quite easily and was most often confident in his choice. In the last few months this has started to change and it is now a huge source of stress for him.
A bit of background - we have a 1yr old baby who has cried for hours on end for the last year, who has been in my arms almost all his waking hours and who barely sleeps. DS1 has been pretty good about the whole situation but it has taken it's toll on him in the last few months and it is continuing to do so - he is frustrated and irritated very easily now. We have lots of different behaviours that have come up during this time due to exhausted parenting, low patience levels on both dh's and my part and the fact that ds1 is needing so much more then I can give him during the week when it is just me and him and the babe.
We are working so hard on setting more one on one time aside for him and trying to resolve this before it gets too far gone.
Right now a huge issue is decision making; any decision making from what he wants to eat, to getting dressed to choosing what to play.
He will state over and over 'I can't decide', 'I just don't know' and while doing so he gets more and more worked up and frustrated until he is having a tantrum. I've tried saying 'this looks like a hard decision to make, can mommy choose?' But this results in him getting angrier b/c he wants to make the decision. A few times I've just said this is a decision I'm going to make. For example at preschool the other day he couldn't decide if he wanted to stay or come home and was tantruming on the floor so I made the decision that we come home. Him saying he can't decide can go on for an hour plus until I usually step in and make a choice which then results in more crying b/c he wanted to make the choice. I so don't know how to handle this anymore.
We usually give 2-3 choices about what to pick for lunch, etc and it's never been a prob so I don't want to be taking his opportunity for choices away from him but I don't know how to make it less stressful for him.
Any tips or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
He used to be able to make decision quite easily and was most often confident in his choice. In the last few months this has started to change and it is now a huge source of stress for him.
A bit of background - we have a 1yr old baby who has cried for hours on end for the last year, who has been in my arms almost all his waking hours and who barely sleeps. DS1 has been pretty good about the whole situation but it has taken it's toll on him in the last few months and it is continuing to do so - he is frustrated and irritated very easily now. We have lots of different behaviours that have come up during this time due to exhausted parenting, low patience levels on both dh's and my part and the fact that ds1 is needing so much more then I can give him during the week when it is just me and him and the babe.
We are working so hard on setting more one on one time aside for him and trying to resolve this before it gets too far gone.
Right now a huge issue is decision making; any decision making from what he wants to eat, to getting dressed to choosing what to play.
He will state over and over 'I can't decide', 'I just don't know' and while doing so he gets more and more worked up and frustrated until he is having a tantrum. I've tried saying 'this looks like a hard decision to make, can mommy choose?' But this results in him getting angrier b/c he wants to make the decision. A few times I've just said this is a decision I'm going to make. For example at preschool the other day he couldn't decide if he wanted to stay or come home and was tantruming on the floor so I made the decision that we come home. Him saying he can't decide can go on for an hour plus until I usually step in and make a choice which then results in more crying b/c he wanted to make the choice. I so don't know how to handle this anymore.
We usually give 2-3 choices about what to pick for lunch, etc and it's never been a prob so I don't want to be taking his opportunity for choices away from him but I don't know how to make it less stressful for him.
Any tips or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
