I belong to an online group of moms who met on another board while TTC and we keep in touch on facebook. The other 4 moms had girls and 3 of them are pregnant again (2 with boys and one just found out she was pregnant so she doesn't know the sex yet).
When the first pregnant one found out that she was having a boy, she asked me (since I have a boy) about circumcision. I didn't even have to bring it up. I told her that my son is intact and that circumcision is not popular here. I think I mentioned that there was no medical benefits (Hmm... I'm not sure whether I made that point clearly enough--bad me) and I addressed the two concerns she had when she first asked--she wanted to know if it hurt and required special care. I said yes and yes and mentioned that it was often done without anesthesia. Then mommy #3 jumped in to say that she had never thought of not doing it but mentioned that her friend's son had to be redone, so I talked about complications and how it is not a simple case of do it now to prevent problems later because often problems can be created by the circumcision. Mommy #1 came back to say that she had never seen a penis that wasn't circ'd, nor did she know anyone who had left her son intact, which mommy #3 agreed with so I gave them some history on circumcision rates 20-30 years ago compared to now and included the latest stats for each woman's state to show that if left intact, their boy wouldn't be the only one. Mommy #1 agreed that she would do her own research before deciding, which was clearly a move to shut me up (i.e., I don't want your biased "research"), mommy #2 said, "I hope I have another girl so I don't have to worry about this" and mommy #3 said, "If I ever have a boy, I'm really going to have to think about this" (although my sense from her was that I had truly planted a seed of doubt--I kind of knew the others were lost causes).
When mommy #2 found out she was having a boy, she asked mommy #1 what she had decided re: circumcision, and both agreed that they were definitely going to do it, having reviewed the research on both sides of the debate. I said nothing because they were clearly not interested in my opinion.
Today, mommy #1 told me she had a ton of questions about boys compared to girls. I started to say that I was hardly an expert (I don't even have a girl), but then I realized this was my chance to make a case again, so I asked her what she wanted to know, and she asked if peepee teepees were necessary and whether there is a trick to wiping.
So this is what I have drafted in response:
What do you think? Passive aggressive? Is there anything else I should be sharing here without coming on too strongly? FWIW, I do not expect to change the mind of #1 or #2, although I do want them to realize that a circumcised penis is not easier to take care of. Also, I do hope to convince #3 not to circumcise if she has a boy.
When the first pregnant one found out that she was having a boy, she asked me (since I have a boy) about circumcision. I didn't even have to bring it up. I told her that my son is intact and that circumcision is not popular here. I think I mentioned that there was no medical benefits (Hmm... I'm not sure whether I made that point clearly enough--bad me) and I addressed the two concerns she had when she first asked--she wanted to know if it hurt and required special care. I said yes and yes and mentioned that it was often done without anesthesia. Then mommy #3 jumped in to say that she had never thought of not doing it but mentioned that her friend's son had to be redone, so I talked about complications and how it is not a simple case of do it now to prevent problems later because often problems can be created by the circumcision. Mommy #1 came back to say that she had never seen a penis that wasn't circ'd, nor did she know anyone who had left her son intact, which mommy #3 agreed with so I gave them some history on circumcision rates 20-30 years ago compared to now and included the latest stats for each woman's state to show that if left intact, their boy wouldn't be the only one. Mommy #1 agreed that she would do her own research before deciding, which was clearly a move to shut me up (i.e., I don't want your biased "research"), mommy #2 said, "I hope I have another girl so I don't have to worry about this" and mommy #3 said, "If I ever have a boy, I'm really going to have to think about this" (although my sense from her was that I had truly planted a seed of doubt--I kind of knew the others were lost causes).
When mommy #2 found out she was having a boy, she asked mommy #1 what she had decided re: circumcision, and both agreed that they were definitely going to do it, having reviewed the research on both sides of the debate. I said nothing because they were clearly not interested in my opinion.
Today, mommy #1 told me she had a ton of questions about boys compared to girls. I started to say that I was hardly an expert (I don't even have a girl), but then I realized this was my chance to make a case again, so I asked her what she wanted to know, and she asked if peepee teepees were necessary and whether there is a trick to wiping.
So this is what I have drafted in response:
Quote:
| I can’t help you with the wiping thing because I only know how to take care of the intact penis, which is easier than caring for a girl because you wipe from the base to the tip of the penis and there are fewer folds overall that need to be cleaned because the foreskin protects the head of the penis and keeps anything from getting in there (although the wrinkled skin of the scrotum can be hard to clean at times). With the circumcised penis, I understand that there is wound care (gauze and Vaseline with each diaper change) for the first week, and then, depending on how it heals, you might have to pull back the remaining skin to prevent adhesions and I guess the head of the penis is harder to clean, but I don’t know. Interestingly, I have heard that intact boys are far less likely to pee in their caregiver's face during diaper changes than circumcised boys are. I don't know how true this is though. I don't remember DS peeing in my face, but he peed in his own face a few times. |
I know they aren't "suppose" to be able to do that but they both were able to. I actually covered them with towels/wipes to keep it from getting me and and started pointing them towards the wall when I changed them just in case. I figured boys were even worse no matter what.. DH and I were actually having this conversation this morning about it because he was wondering if a boy was going to pee all over the place worse than the girls did.
