Almost 8 yr-old DD1 completely lost it when just turned 6-yr old DD2 opened her birthday presents, which included a new doll. I thought we had prepped her enough this year but she remains obsessed with equality in possessions and with having something new. She loses it (big time) whenever her younger sister gets something she does not have (e.g. a party bag item, a win at a fair stall). Everything she has is old and no good, and she can't sleep for wanting to know exactly what she is getting for her upcoming birthday (and I can predict that anything except a new doll for her will cause an extended tantrum). This is a longstanding trait.
DH and I are not particularly materialistic and we try our best to pass that on, but I feel like we are failing terribly with DD and don't know what to do differently. We don't shop for entertainment and they almost never go into stores. We talk to them about how we make careful decisions about what we buy. We re-use and re-purpose and make from scratch where we can. They watch little tv and then nearly all DVD or pre-recorded with no ads. Their toys are mostly "old-fashioned" - dolls, puzzles, bikes, lego, marbles, sewing.
And it is definitely the dolls where she is the most "gimme". She will get a new doll and it will live with her almost 24/7, clothes changed all day, fed, played with, etc. then when she gets the next doll, it is elevated and the "old" one is severely demoted. We're reading the Little House books and we talk about how Laura only has one doll for years; we talk about poor children around the world; doesn't seem to help. She is fixated on that new, better doll over the horizon. Between birthdays and xmas for the past 5 years, she has accumulated maybe 15-20 dolls - quite a few from grandma or auntie as her requested present. She does play with them alot, especially the 18" of which she now has 3 (all Our Generation from Target which is a great American Girl substitute at a fraction of the price).
Should I be happy that she is loves playing with dolls every day and spend the $30 on another new doll for her birthday? Or do I draw a line in the sand and say enough is enough, newer is not always better, be happy with the dolls you have, you need to learn a life lesson? I tried limiting the number by saying she had to get rid of one to get a new one, but she eagerly foisted an older baby doll onto her little cousin and I feel like that approach promotes the "grass is greener".
DH and I are really twisted in knots on how to handle her on this and the bigger issue of materialism. DD2 is grateful for whatever presents and doesn't get so wound up about always wanting something more/newer. I just read parts of "Raising the Spirited Child" today and DD1 does have some of those issues - doesn't handle transitions well, needs expectations managed carefully. Any and all thoughts appreciated!!!!!! Sorry so long!!!!
DH and I are not particularly materialistic and we try our best to pass that on, but I feel like we are failing terribly with DD and don't know what to do differently. We don't shop for entertainment and they almost never go into stores. We talk to them about how we make careful decisions about what we buy. We re-use and re-purpose and make from scratch where we can. They watch little tv and then nearly all DVD or pre-recorded with no ads. Their toys are mostly "old-fashioned" - dolls, puzzles, bikes, lego, marbles, sewing.
And it is definitely the dolls where she is the most "gimme". She will get a new doll and it will live with her almost 24/7, clothes changed all day, fed, played with, etc. then when she gets the next doll, it is elevated and the "old" one is severely demoted. We're reading the Little House books and we talk about how Laura only has one doll for years; we talk about poor children around the world; doesn't seem to help. She is fixated on that new, better doll over the horizon. Between birthdays and xmas for the past 5 years, she has accumulated maybe 15-20 dolls - quite a few from grandma or auntie as her requested present. She does play with them alot, especially the 18" of which she now has 3 (all Our Generation from Target which is a great American Girl substitute at a fraction of the price).
Should I be happy that she is loves playing with dolls every day and spend the $30 on another new doll for her birthday? Or do I draw a line in the sand and say enough is enough, newer is not always better, be happy with the dolls you have, you need to learn a life lesson? I tried limiting the number by saying she had to get rid of one to get a new one, but she eagerly foisted an older baby doll onto her little cousin and I feel like that approach promotes the "grass is greener".
DH and I are really twisted in knots on how to handle her on this and the bigger issue of materialism. DD2 is grateful for whatever presents and doesn't get so wound up about always wanting something more/newer. I just read parts of "Raising the Spirited Child" today and DD1 does have some of those issues - doesn't handle transitions well, needs expectations managed carefully. Any and all thoughts appreciated!!!!!! Sorry so long!!!!
about generosity and jealousy and giving. Frances' little sister is having a birthday, and Frances has to decide whether to give her sister the whole present she bought, or keep some of it for herself. Lovely whimsical books. 
this is my take as a fellow mom with a kid who is NOT like me on several levels!
though he still stays under $5) - we have tried allowance but I haven't done it in awhile because 1) she'd want to buy candy (which she isn't allowed as she has a sugar issue) or 2) she'd beg to go to the store the second she had enough for a small doll (that joined the pile of ones she didn't really like) rather than wait until she had enough for the doll she really wanted, and 3) that got her into a toy store where I would never usually take her so she would see loads of other things and kick off a new round of greedies.
