wrestling with kids?

[BreatheMama]

Hi,

We have always kind of rolled around and played on our king size bed with the kids. Recently my husband and oldest dd have like play wrestling matches and will even include the baby. Well I’ve noticed the 4.5 dd is way too aggressive with the 1.5 dd, injuries are occurring and it so chaotic we cant even chill out there anymore. I'm not comfortable with violence at all. Also just sensitive to the noise level and physicality of the wrestling. I need some perspective... thanks

[Tjej]

I think it is good for kids to wrestle, but it usually doesn't go well unless it is one at a time (with an adult who can handle a little wrestling and is willing to tell them when they cross a line).

Also, if you move the wrestling to the floor and don't allow it on the bed anymore, the bed will become a snuggle place again after a little break.

Tjej

[pregnant@40]

Husbands parent in a way that is completely different than mothers. They tend to be more physical, and enjoy wrestling, sports, and "doing" things. That's how they bond. And research shows that this really does teach kids resilience and confidence. So I think your husband and daughter both benefit from wrestling, since it's a bonding thing.

However, you guys need to talk to the 4.5 yo about being gentle w/ the younger sibling. She needs to understand the difference b/twn rough and gentle play, and what is OK and not OK w/ baby. Your husband should probably be the one who teaches her the difference, since wrestling is their thing.

[meemee]

first let me say wrestling is v. v. v important. if you look around all primates and monkeys wrestle. other animal kingdom does too. i can tell as a single mom what a huge deal wrestling is.

you should continue all that is going on. i think its perfect. dad is refereeing the wrestling matches. he can teach your 4.5 year old how to be gentle with your 1.5 year old. they should start with them wrestling and your dh should be the last one wrestling. i have noticed when kids get too excited they lose it. they forget how to be gentle and quiet, etc. your dh has to be a little more involved in showing both your kids how to make wrestling fun and what to avoid.

so here is my philosophy about wrestling. i think it is the ONE of the most important childhood activities that is extremely important. i think it helps our children with figuring out spatial concept. it is a 6th sense in children which we do very little to help them experience. our children NEED all their senses used.

wrestling is NOTHING about violence. it is infact just the opposite. to get your adrenaline going and then figure out how to control it.

it is a great great GREAT way to get the aggression out of us. its kinda a whole body work out. and emotions too. the adrenaline of the 'winning' mode or the 'trying out different actions so thinking and plotting how to get out of that move' are really important qualities of wrestling.

my dd wrestles sometimes with my friends dh adn their boys. i can tell the huge difference in her immediately. its like using wrestling as a punching bag. she gets such an emotional workout that she is a much more easier child than before. she is calmer. she wrestles with another friend of mine and because we dotn see each other that often dd always initiates a wrestling match with him whenever seh sees him.

the noise level, the action is all important. a kind of venting.

have you seen baby lions wrestling with their mom or dad and each other. they are learning life skills. i feel the same goes with our kids and our kids who are not getting wrestling on a regular basis are losing something.

i do have a complaint against teh AP world. they use the term violence much too loosely. and make it a bad word. and so we get conditioned that violence is a bad thing. and therefore we discourage our children from playing with 'guns', as cops and robbers or indians and cowboys, etc. that kind of play plays an important role in childhood. but we become conditioned that it is BAD. i know mothering magazine has covered many areas of this with excellent articles.

[BreatheMama]

-thanks for the thoughtful responses. We talked about it tonight and I think we found common ground. Wresteling and physical play, but less on our bed

-but ya, also wanted to agree with the idea that through play and bonding time, my husband will be teaching them a great deal.