Alternatives to Candy Holidays?

[marsmom]

I need ideas on how to help DD avoid friend-given candy, especially holiday and party related. DD is very sugar sensitive - really becomes a monster within 30 minutes of eating anything sugary. Can only handle it in small quantities directly after a protein-heavy meal. So we've learned not to keep it in the house and she's getting better about knowing that she can't handle it (she's almost 8).

But we're feeling more and more inundated with holiday and party candy and sweets. Halloween is huge in our new neighborhood and we've had loads of candy given to us well before the day. She has the "teacher of the year" but who gives out candy as special rewards. And birthday cupcakes seem to happen very frequently.

I've written in another post here about DD's need to have everything the same and equal with her sister (who can handle sugar better, of course). 1) Do I ban these treats (confiscate all Halloween/Xmas/Valentines/Easter candy) for both of them to keep it fair? then how to explain that to DD2? 2) Ideas on how DD2 can have a small amount while DD1 doesn't? (Could I trade DD1 the candy for something else? but what?) 3) Do I try to create the perfect set-up (fried egg and glass of milk for breakfast) and then allow one indulgence and ditch the rest and hope for the best?

Oh, I wish our culture did not put so much emphasis on constantly giving sweets to kids! I have to spend too much time/energy/negotiating managing this...

[pianojazzgirl]

Hmm tricky one...

First of all, IMO, it would be awfully hard for DD1 to watch DD2 eat a bunch of candy and not be able to herself. I'd say that if DD2's teacher hands out candy in class that's one thing, but at the home there should be the same rules for candy for each of them.

Re: Halloween. What we do is the "Halloween Fairy". In our family we let the kids keep some candy and then they choose a bunch to leave out on the kitchen table for the Halloween Fairy to collect while they're asleep. In exchange she leaves them a present. You could do a keep-no-candy variation. Or maybe just one or two small pieces (with the egg and milk breakfast before hand!).

Besides that I find it's getting increasingly difficult to monitor my dd's candy intake as she gets older (she's 6 and in grade one now). She's often given it when I'm not there (at parties, at school). Luckily she doesn't react as strongly to it as your dd, but still it's more than I'd like her to have. The whole thing is something I've been thinking about a lot recently, as she's made a new friend who's been giving her candy every time they play (the parents buy it). I've been planning on having a talk with the parents now that I see it wasn't just a once in a blue moon kind of occurrence. Anyway, all that to say, I'll be watching this thread for ideas....

ETA regarding the "teacher of the year", I think this is definitely an issue you should bring up with her/him. Talk about why it is a problem for your dd and ask if something else (stickers? silly bandz? other?) can be given out instead of candy. Honestly, I can't understand why teachers ever give out candy when they're the ones who have to deal with hyper sugar-monster kids afterwards, lol!

ETA again... this is regarding explaining sugar limitations to DD2. Even though she handles sugar better than her older sister it still isn't any healthier for her. Approach it from a health angle. Like "dad and I have decided that in our family we are going to be cutting down on sugar. It's not healthy for xyz reasons. We'll have a bit on special occasions, but it's not for all the time". Or however you word it. Or don't even have a bit discussion. Continue, on a casual level, to talk about healthy food choices, as you probably already do. When Halloween rolls around, explain that you'll be doing the Halloween Fairy this year. Answer any questions they have then when they come up (explaining about sugar = not healthy or however you want to explain it). Same thing at Christmas time.

Also, can you substitute a high-protein sweet treat for candy? Like homemade lowish-sugar peanut butter cookies, or that kind of thing? Taking candy away might go over better if it was switched for something else that's yummy.

ETA yet again (last time I swear, lol!). I just had an idea. What if you have a "candy jar" for each of the girls. Whenever they are given candy (I'm thinking from friends, teachers, etc) they bring it home and it put in their jars. When the jars are full they get something... a special outing, small present, whatever would work for you and appeal to them.

[34me]

We only have one candy fest a year and it's halloween. It's really the only time my kiddos got/get it and they don't seem to crave it the rest of the year - in fact round about January dh and I wind up bringing it to work with us. so no matter what you decide they will not die from lack of candy (mine are still around at 12,14 and 16 ). I do know one parent of a diabetic kiddo that gives her dd a dime for every piece or so many pieces. It can get spendy but so would trading for a bigger gift. And it's something both girls could be on board with because they could save for something they really want. And yeah I hate the candy economy at school. My son's PE teacher gave out soda in Middle School! And being athletic he seemed to get one every day.grrrrrrr

[crunchy_mommy]

I can't stand how candy-centered everything is.... it drives me nuts.

I do think it would be easier if you had the same rules for both kids. Maybe it could be something fun -- like they trade in pieces of candy for small toys or coins (or can save up all their candy to trade in for bigger toys)... or you could have little slips of paper with less material 'treats' like time alone with Mommy, time to bake together, extra 20 minutes of a restricted activity, etc.

[ChetMC]

Candy Culture

When we lived in the US I noticed that there was a lot more candy around. I didn't think it would be much different from Canada, and was surprised that people seemed to be constantly handing our kids suckers and candies in stores and at events. Valentine cards had candies with them, and I'd never seen that before. There were bowls of candy all over the place where DH worked too.

In Canada, kids get a lot of chips at Halloween (not exactly apples, but at least it mixes things up a bit). In the US, we didn't see any halloween chips at all.

As well, and this might have just been the neighbourhood we were in, but our kids have tended to get a lot of pencils, mini playdoh tubs, tooth brushes and stickers when they were out trick or treating, and we didn't see as much of that in the US either.

Since your DD is a bit older, I would just talk to her about it. Sympathize with her, and ask if there is anything she would like to have instead of candy.

[tjjazzy]

i have done a few things throughout DS1's childhood:

1. i take candy given to him and put it in my purse. then at home, i put it away and he forgets about it. halloween candy gets put away and he gets some of it.

2. i have told him he gets too wired on chocolate and can't have it. his brother can have it though (i'm talking things like pudding-neither gets chocolate bars or chocolate milk.) haha ds1 thinks he just doesn't like chocolate. i do let him have smarties now and then. ds1 is pretty easygoing so he accepts these things. he turned down a chocolate bar while trick or treating (darnit!!)

3. if he has been behaving, i let him have the sucker from the grocery store. if not, i keep it.

4. they're not allowed to have pop. ds2's juice is watered down. ds1 doesn't like pop when he's tried it so it hasn't been an issue.

it's pretty easy to have rules like these as long as he understands they are the rules and it's too bad if he doesn't like them. i don't hide the reasons why and i am consistent i don't want to put up with monster child just b/c somebody felt the need to give him a bag of candy (paternal grandmother at ALL kid birthday parties. i think she has caught on b/c she has started asking what she can give them now and then. )
i agree. kids get a lot of chips and some chocolate and a few little bags of things like sour candies etc. here in Canada.

[CCJWGM]

The Sugar Plum Fairy is coming to our house this year. Yes, it's still on the "consumer" side but it's WAY better than candy. And the Sugar Plum Fairy isn't bringing anything fancy.

Maybe the sugar plum fairy could come more often at your house than just Halloween. Just a thought. The Ostara Bunny here also brings gifts. I'm a little frustrated with substituting gifts for candy but haven't come up with another idea when everyone is getting what DD can't have.