Advice needed on protecting toddlers at babysitter's - Page 2

[YayJennie]

Originally Posted by Mommyintraining2

Some very nice responses from different viewpoints! Thanks!

Yes, I know I tend to be paranoid when it comes to my childrens' safety. And yes, I'm sure I could benefit from a visit to a therapist (and I just might when I can save up a little bit to pay for it).

I trust my friend because she has worked with my kids for several years (autistic son). I have several people that I feel have proven trustworthy over a period of time that I feel safe leaving my little ones with. I know their values and have had opportunities to get to know them intimately.

But I have not been around her son more than a handful of times. I am not singling him out because he is a 15 year old male. I feel that I need to know very well ANYONE who is alone with my children. I simply mentioned the specifics about him being 15 and a male to clarify the details of my story.

I am not talking about leaving them alone with her son (or anyone else) for more than two minutes to go to the bathroom. That would seem a little ridiculous to ask him to leave the house for that. Actually, I welcome him playing with the girls and spending time with them. I simply want to know that she is there to supervise.

If this is the case then I would just make it clear you don't want the girls left alone with anyone besides her, including her son. If it's not about the son or his age, but about being left unsupervised with anyone other than her, than that's what I would tell her. And I don't think she would be offended by the fact you're making sure she's always supervising your girls

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by YayJennie

If this is the case then I would just make it clear you don't want the girls left alone with anyone besides her, including her son. If it's not about the son or his age, but about being left unsupervised with anyone other than her, than that's what I would tell her. And I don't think she would be offended by the fact you're making sure she's always supervising your girls

This.

Also, could this whole thing take place at your house instead? She could play with them outside or in their room or whatever... or she could take them to the library or playground... but if your house is the 'home base' then her DS wouldn't even be around.

I totally understand your fears (whether or not they are over the top, lol) because I have the same fears. I have yet to leave my 20mo DS with anyone (except once my sister for 45 minutes but she since moved away) and whenever I think about leaving him with anyone, even with family, I feel panicky. It's mostly because of my past. But there are certain people I'd feel more comfortable with if it was going to be only them... but how do you ask someone not to let their husband be alone with your kid? Especially if it's family, or close friends? So I totally understand your predicament & that's why (well, partly why!) I won't leave DS... but I think you can use her DS's age to your advantage...