school psychologist requested meeting

[changes]

A few days ago the school called me regarding a meeting with the school psychologist this week, they set a time and everything. I do not know what to expect but it seems as if the school/teacher/psychologist requested for such a meeting regarding my 4,5yo who now started pre-school about a month ago. Should I start to worry if such meeting is requested by the school? Is it standard policy and would they request such a one on one meeting with every child's parent over the first weeks/months?
Will it have to do with the not so standard answers I filled out on a school form? With bilingual upbringing they do not seem so agreeable about? If they have formed a certain opinion on one or other thing, should I better just agree or argue (when I disagree)?
As far as me concerns, my child has been doing great in getting adjusted to school (as I expected more difficulties, my child is not really the 'average child', lol) or are there issues that will come up in such a meeting?
Basically I would like to know if I need to worry at this point and/or be prepared to go into defense?

Thx.

[D_McG]

I would call and ask what it's about. I can't imaging they care that it's bilingual home. That's not unusual.

As to your anticipated 'difficulties' and him not being 'average'. Well, may they have some observations to share and some support to offer.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by changes

As far as me concerns, my child has been doing great in getting adjusted to school (as I expected more difficulties, my child is not really the 'average child', lol) or are there issues that will come up in such a meeting?

in what way is your child "not the average child"?

school psychologist do a lot of things, and testing is part of that.

Basically I would like to know if I need to worry at this point and/or be prepared to go into defense?

no. Worry is a useless emotion and one to be avoided whenever possible. I have a child with sn, so I have lots to worry about, but I still try not to.

Defensive also seems out of place. I get to know the school staff better than most parents (the whole sn things) and I've never had a reason to be "defensive." My experience with school staff is they want to work with me to help my child be successful.

I'd call and ask what the meeting is regarding, and I'd go with an open mind.

[karne]

As others have mentioned, call and ask what the agenda of the meeting will be. I would phrase your question as wanting to know so that you can be prepared to participate fully in the discussion during the meeting. I would ask if there is specific information that will be needed from you. It can be very difficult to go into a meeting without knowing what will be discussed, and be able to formulate questions, or have your own concerns addressed. Your job is to listen, evaluate, advocate and be an active member of any planning that takes place.

If you can't talk directly with the school psychologist, I would talk with the school counselor or your child's teacher. Meetings like this rarely occur without the professionals in school having consulted with one another.

[EFmom]

Schools do not routinely schedule meetings with every parent with the school psychologist.

I would call and ask the purpose of the meeting and a copy of the agenda, just as I would prepare for any meeting. I would go into it with an open mind, but I wouldn't go in blind.

[changes]

Well, the thing is that they did not give information about the topic of the meeting and I'll need to find out during the meeting.
I've already had some backfire (remarks/'suggestions') from school regarding our child's bilingual upbringing, so I fear this is an issue that will keep on coming up in meetings (around here bilingualism is not very common and by schools/state system not so much supported).
If any other issues come up during the meeting (which I am prepared to hear about) I do worry bilingualism may get (part of the) blame, or parenting ways that do not fit their ideas or the like.
To my experience some 'professionals' are not allways advocating so much as for an individual child, as for the school's opinions on things, or for children needing fitting in with the system.
Mainly, THAT's where most of my concerns are right now.
That my child may need further evaluation is already an idea I've been playing with for some time so I am and curious, anxious and also a bit worried since I have no idea about what will be point of discussion. I also need to have this meeyi,ng in a language that's not my mother tongue, so that's also part of the worry, that I might not be able to express myself as I want to, or that may come over as not able to do so or to advocate my own parenting ways clearly and properly).
I do have some ideas of where a meeting MIGHT go, but I may be totally wrong and so getting a little nervous concerning the above circumstances.
Will keep you posted, thanks for the input.

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by changes

To my experience some 'professionals' are not allways advocating so much as for an individual child, as for the school's opinions on things, or for children needing fitting in with the system.
Mainly, THAT's where most of my concerns are right now.

It's important that children fit in with the system. Important for the child, teachers and family. That's why these people have the expertise and tools to help everyone adjust.

That my child may need further evaluation is already an idea I've been playing with for some time

And it sounds like your instincts were right on track! I really don't think you're doing anyone any favors by going in on the defensive, right?

[EFmom]

Originally Posted by changes

Well, the thing is that they did not give information about the topic of the meeting and I'll need to find out during the meeting.
.

They may not have volunteered it, but you can pick up the phone now and ask to speak to the psychologist or guidance counselor or principal and get this information before the meeting. You do not have to wait to be ambushed at the meeting.

[Tigerchild]

I agree with EFmom--please call them back (or go into the office) and state (politely of course) that you wish to be given a brief description of what will be discussed at the meeting. If they actually refuse to tell you anything about this meeting, the to be honest, I would cancel the appointment and tell them you will be happy to reschedule when they provide you with the information that you're requesting--but that you want to be prepared so you can work together, and you'd prefer not to be suprised at the content of the meeting.

I have been ambushed, over something really stupid, and I won't allow it to happen again--I've yet to be able to recover from my extremely disfavorable opinion about an otherwise really nice junior administrator, it didn't solve the problem, it threw my internal emotions into chaos, and I think more damage would have been done had the principal not intervened and contacted me over the weekend (she certainly did not have to do that) to get everyone back on the same page that it really was a minor behavioral incident and wasn't handled very well and escalated more highly than it would have if it had been handled differently from the start.

Yes, I would be prepared (note, this doesn't necessarily mean defensive) to have an administrator gripe about things that "the system" tends to gripe about despite their irrelevance to the issue. Bilingual can be one of those things (in my case, it's that my kiddo who was having difficulty was a twin, and the powers that be really have high anxiety about twins in the same classroom). But I would honestly be strategizing how you can keep the discussion on track, and not get sidetracked into an argument/defense about things that aren't relevant.

[One_Girl]

Originally Posted by EFmom

They may not have volunteered it, but you can pick up the phone now and ask to speak to the psychologist or guidance counselor or principal and get this information before the meeting. You do not have to wait to be ambushed at the meeting.

I really have to suggest that you do this. It is hard enough to go into a meeting knowing something is going on, being ambushed makes it all worse. Call and say you want to know what the meeting is about then prepare.

If it is the bilingual area then there are is a lot of good research to support raising kids in bilingual homes, in fact I am surprised that they are giving you any crap about it because speaking two languages is very good for brain development, though initially there can be something they mistake for a delay because young kids often translate what is said into their home language before responding so they seem to have a problem with language that isn't really there. This is something they should really be aware of since it is common knowledge in the teaching world because so many bilingual kids have been misdiagnosed with a special need because of this. As they get older and more fluent in both languages the delay is gone. I think there is a multicultural thread and they may be able to point you to some research or books you could bring in as back up.

[DariusMom]

Originally Posted by Tigerchild

I agree with EFmom--please call them back (or go into the office) and state (politely of course) that you wish to be given a brief description of what will be discussed at the meeting. If they actually refuse to tell you anything about this meeting, the to be honest, I would cancel the appointment and tell them you will be happy to reschedule when they provide you with the information that you're requesting--but that you want to be prepared so you can work together, and you'd prefer not to be suprised at the content of the meeting.

I have been ambushed, over something really stupid, and I won't allow it to happen again--I've yet to be able to recover from my extremely disfavorable opinion about an otherwise really nice junior administrator, it didn't solve the problem, it threw my internal emotions into chaos, and I think more damage would have been done had the principal not intervened and contacted me over the weekend (she certainly did not have to do that) to get everyone back on the same page that it really was a minor behavioral incident and wasn't handled very well and escalated more highly than it would have if it had been handled differently from the start.

Yes, I would be prepared (note, this doesn't necessarily mean defensive) to have an administrator gripe about things that "the system" tends to gripe about despite their irrelevance to the issue. Bilingual can be one of those things (in my case, it's that my kiddo who was having difficulty was a twin, and the powers that be really have high anxiety about twins in the same classroom). But I would honestly be strategizing how you can keep the discussion on track, and not get sidetracked into an argument/defense about things that aren't relevant.

this! Just politely state that you'd like to be prepared so could they give you some idea of what they'd like to discuss.

Also, it it's re: bilingualism, please post over in the multicultural families forum. A lot of us are raising our kids bi (or tri!) lingually and can point you to some great resources and research if it becomes an issue.