Friend low on $$, but weaning DC at 4 months

[PatienceAndLove]

I have a friend that I met within the last year. She recently gave birth to her second son, and was EBF for the first 3 months. She started supplementing with formula, and the baby is now exclusively formula fed.

Part of the reason was that she was trying to work, but the job didn't work out. She says she misses BFing, but continues to formula feed. She and her husband are very low on money. So much so that when he his job gives him a week off, he goes elsewhere to work. They do not qualify for WIC assistance for the formula, so they are paying out of pocket.

I want to ask her why she doesn't try to BF again, but I don't want to seem rude.

Any help?

[MamitaM]

I guess you could say to her casually "have you thought about going back to bf'ing again now that you're not working?". If she is missing it then she may be willing to try again. Maybe she doesn't realize that she can start nursing again and that baby would probably be ok with it.

[PatienceAndLove]

Originally Posted by MamitaM

I guess you could say to her casually "have you thought about going back to bf'ing again now that you're not working?". If she is missing it then she may be willing to try again. Maybe she doesn't realize that she can start nursing again and that baby would probably be ok with it.

Good point.
Maybe going to a LLL meeting would help, too. They would be able to get her through any issues she and DS are having.

[SilverFish]

budget and income are pretty strictly family and best friend subject matter, IMO. i don't think there's any way to point out the cost issue without being rude.

now, i have shared with friends about how much money i've personally saved by using cloth, for example, even though they are disposable users, but diaperin is hardly the touchy subject that breastfeeding is.

if you think she doesn't know that it's possible to go back to breastfeeding, then you can share that information. if it comes up in conversation that her grocery bill is really hurting because of the cost of formula, you could maybe start a dialog. if she came to you asking for help with her monthly budget, you could point it out, but not otherwise.

feeding, formula or breast, is a pretty personal issue, and i'd hesitate to bring it up unless i was specifically asked for advice or was sharing my own personal story. there are probably strong reasons she's decided to switch, and it's not for you to decide whether they're good enough to justify the cost of switching.

[PatienceAndLove]

Originally Posted by SilverFish

budget and income are pretty strictly family and best friend subject matter, IMO. i don't think there's any way to point out the cost issue without being rude.

now, i have shared with friends about how much money i've personally saved by using cloth, for example, even though they are disposable users, but diaperin is hardly the touchy subject that breastfeeding is.

if you think she doesn't know that it's possible to go back to breastfeeding, then you can share that information. if it comes up in conversation that her grocery bill is really hurting because of the cost of formula, you could maybe start a dialog. if she came to you asking for help with her monthly budget, you could point it out, but not otherwise.

feeding, formula or breast, is a pretty personal issue, and i'd hesitate to bring it up unless i was specifically asked for advice or was sharing my own personal story. there are probably strong reasons she's decided to switch, and it's not for you to decide whether they're good enough to justify the cost of switching.

BFing is a touchy personal subject.
She has complained about the price of formula, and the lack of coupons available. Her husband has mentioned not qualifying for WIC. That is what confuses me... I don't know if I should say anything, even though things have been mentioned to me.
This is the first time I have had a friend go from breastfeeding to formula feeding. The other friends I have, with children, all breastfeed til a year or more. This is new ground, and I am not sure how to navigate it.

[sapphire_chan]

If she whines about it, she's opening herself up for suggestions/advice. A simple "y'know, some people have been able to start breastfeeding again, if you want any help finding out about that, let me know" will give her the ability to say either "OMG THANK YOU FOREVER" ( or "um, no thanks, so anyway, how about that local sports team?"

Or she could go weird offended on you, in which case you'll know she's got issues you don't need to deal with and you can stop wasting your energy on her. But I really hope it doesn't end up that way.

[CherryBombMama]

she has brought up money issues with, so IMO, you are allowed to remember those tissues. i would say, "hey remember you mentioned that you missed BFing? i was reading that some women can re-lactate..." and see where that take you. she can blow it off, "thats weird." or she can ask you some serious questions and get a discussion going.