S/O: Were YOU raised "crunchy"? - Page 4

[CatsCradle]

Originally Posted by One_Girl

I picked the last one, though I really think there should have been another option because not crunchy doesn't automatically mean soda in a bottle or unhealthy eating, and I think it is a little offensive to take that kind of high and mighty attitude when it comes to parenting. . I don't think crunchy people of the sort you find on this board are the only ones who feed healthy food. I know almost no families who don't feed healthy food even now and they are not families I would describe as crunchy, especially the ones I know very well.

I sort of fell into a different way of parenting and went with it because it felt right, but the way I was raised does affect how I react. I have had to work to cut out some of my reactions while embracing other parts of how I was raised because they really do fit in with a gentle, non-mainstream way of raising children.

I agree with the bolded part. I'm constantly amused that there is such a perception that there is a stark line between "mainstream" and "crunchy" practices. I grew up in an era where there were plenty of unhealthy options out there, but I also was surrounded by people who would be termed "mainstream" here that took a lot of stock in being healthy and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Also, this notion that self-described crunchy people hold the flag on doing what is best is a stretch. There are plenty of people who live frugally, responsibly and healthfully without falling within the crunch demographic. Frankly, I think the term "crunchy" has become branded. It just rubs me the wrong way that it is defined so much by checklists, as opposed to philosophical positions. Every time there is a "crunchy" thread on here, there are checklists.

I'm not trying to dis crunchy, but every time this subject comes up, it becomes lists of positives and negatives as opposed to whole life practices. It just seems counterproductive to me.

[eepster]

I went with the second one, but none of them quite fit my family.

My parents were definitely hippies, they really did meet on a picket line (and that was in the early '60s before it was fashionable.) That doesn't translate to 100% AP/NFL type parenting though.

OTOH, mom went to Canada to get us nightgowns without flame retardant b/c she believe it caused cancer and such; OTOH she smoked like a chimney around us, even in cars and wouldn't let us roll down the windows. My parents went to a lot of trouble to make sure we wouldn't be circ'd if we were boys (this was in the days before they required a consent form, so they would just do it if you hadn't prearrange for them not to) though we all turned out girls; mom only breastfed us each for a few weeks, b/c she didn't think she was making enough milk (actually come to think of it, that might have been true since she had a thyroid condition.) My dad occasionally baby wore us, but we were also spanked.

I could go on and on listing a hippy thing then contrasting it with a mainstream thing. It just isn't always that cut and dry, especially when you consider that my parents first became parents in 1966 before most of this stuff was even beginning to be any kind of movement. In those days, Dr Spock was considered pretty radical.


This does make me think of a story though. DH and a close friend (A) of ours were both raised by conservative parents, this other friend (B) and I had the hippy parents. B and I are discussing a work thing one day while all 4 of us are out together. At some point during the conversation we mention a client's name, which was "Sky." B and I had never thought twice about the idea that a person might be named "Sky." Actually, compared to the names of some other kids of hippies I've known "Sky" seemed pretty normal. DH and A, however thought we had made it up or something. They gave us odd looks and questioned us on and on about whether it was a real name.

[CherryBombMama]

the only crunchy thing about my mom was that she had me in cloth diapers (late 80's) but it was for money reasons.

now that i cosleep with two kids and my dh, BF, wear my ds2, she says she wishes she could have done that, but that she never knew it was possible! no one told her!

[Drummer's Wife]

yes, my mom was pretty crunchy IMO. She nursed us into the preschool years (including tandem nursing), cloth diapered, fed us real, whole foods - made our baby food from scratch... She had old baby carriers (like the corduroy snuggly one someone mentioned), we co-slept, and she was interested in natural things and wooden toys and such. My brother is intact, and I remember no-circ articles lying around. She is still passionate about natural childbirth and breastfeeding - and works as a midwife to this day. She was an AP mom, IMO.

We were definitely not like other kids we knew born in the '80's who drank kool-aid and ate TV dinners... so, I'd say my mom was pretty crunchy.

[rhianna813]

I voted I Guess Kinda.

I live in a very crunchy west coast college town that has had a large liberal and hippy population since the 60's. I am 42 and my parents were not hippies, they were more 1950's traditional, although my mom worked full time and was involved with labour unions.

I was bottle fed, spanked sometimes and fed a standard american diet. They used cloth diapers because disposables gave me a rash. We lived in front of the TV and had a microwave.

But from an early age I was aware of vegetarians, political protests, feminists, astrology, birkenstocks and smoking pot. And by the time I was in high school I was a no bra wearing, new ager who protested the military. In my 20's I went vegetarian and discovered Paganism.

I think even the most mainstream folks in my area are probably not as mainstream as other parts of the country LOL

Rhianna

[EdnaMarie]

My name was almost something like Starchild Elktree. Literally, it had to do with the heavens and the earth. She decided to name me after someone else because of a mystical event. LOL!

Crunchy like me I guess--v. limited TV, cloth diapered, lots of naked time, researched vaccinations but decided to go for it (funnily enough like me), smoked pot, only real food, and when she couldn't bf me fed me raw goat's milk with raw honey. We never had sugary cereals, just plain oatmeal or mueslix. No co-sleeping but for the same reasons I don't... she couldn't sleep with us in the bed.

I think she did CIO at first because she was told to but still feels guilty!

We didn't have a yurt but we had a cabin, garden and an outhouse for our early lives. Later she had to get a job but... I did have friends who lived in yurts. Definitely no spanking, though she admitted to losing it once or twice when we were older. I completely understand how she felt now.

It is a miracle I survived all that crunch, LOL!

[minkajane]

Absolutely not. My mom breastfed us and that's about the crunchiest it was. I was BF the longest because I was a preemie, about 15 months, but we all had formula supplements regularly. I wouldn't be shocked at all if I got Kool-Aid in a bottle. We grew up calling it "juice" and I didn't know what actual juice was until middle school. We were fed total junk food - Hamburger Helper, margarine (I think I had butter for the first time in my life in 10th grade), baloney, white bread, hot dogs, etc. To this day, my mom's idea of a salad is some iceburg lettuce, a mushy tomato, and a ton of Thousand Island Dressing.

My mom was pretty much in charge of our medical care and in her mind the more medicine the better. You can never take too much medicine, it will just make you healthier. She was the type to save old antibiotics and try to get you to take them if you got a cold. We got every vax she could convince the doctors to give us.

Discipline was beatings. Hands, wooden paddles, plastic coathangers, leather belts, etc. There was a lot of demeaning, bullying, verbal and emotional abuse, etc.

As far as safety was concerned, it wasn't really considered. No bike helmets, I don't know if I had a carseat as a baby, but if I did it wasn't hooked in well if at all, it was just somewhere to put me. Most of my childhood, we were in my dad's 1968 Plymouth Valiant, so no shoulder belts, just lap belts. No boosters or anything like that.

So yeah, pretty much as far from crunchy as you can get.

[nicky85]

I guess maybe should have put "I guess kinda". I just remembered I was cloth diapered as a baby. My parents didn't have money for disposables. And my mom partially breastfed my brother and sister and even me for a little while. My parents did have a baby carrier too. I think what got me here was having a neighbor who was on the crazy side who was into herbs. That, and I was raised with an attitude of "do your own thing" and healthy dose of skepticism that led me to question everything.

[NellieKatz]

My mother drank and smoked while pregnant with me. She called my father, who was a member of the John Birch Society, the "Lord and Master" of the house, so we had to obey him (or we'd get spanked).

So I guess the answer the poll question is No. :-)

How'd all that strict authoritarian upbringing work out, you might ask? Hmm. I'm an extended BF-ing, Unitarian Universalist, mostly vegan unschooling liberal mom of a little boy whom I'm raising to think for himself. tee hee. They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but with me, it's like the tree took the apple and threw it. But here's the thing....all this big change didn't happen for me til after age 40. It's been an interesting journey to say the least.

[Super Pickle]

Kinda. Mom had natural childbirth, breastfed, cloth diapered, made our baby food, and let us sleep with her and Dad. Dad tried to keep commercialism at bay and did a lot of outdoorsy things with me.

We lived in a small conservative town so the breastfeeding and co-sleeping were definitely different from most of my parents' friends and neighbors. However, my mom and dad were totally caught off guard and weren't sure what to do when their dear friends showed them their birth videos and breastfed us right along with their own babies! They still laugh about those things today.

[waiting2bemommy]

not really but kind of.

My mom had a hospital brth laying on her back through tons of back labor and a very cruel doctor who refused to give her any meds but made her stay in the bed, finally she had an epidural and they suctioned me out. I was fully vaxed.
She breastfed me for about a year and then actively weaned me.
she had a sling bu she stopped using it afterthe first couple months
I do remember getting in bed with her on occasion as a kid, but we didn't really cosleep. Stil if I was sick or scared or somethng she was pretty welcoming up until I was maybe 10 or so.
She wanted to do CIO but my dad wouldn't let her.
I was homeschooled but I didn't want to be and I was forcibly isolated, so under the circumstances I wouldn't consider that AP/crunchy at all.
We had no TV until I was about 12.
Spankings/ beatdowns with the belt or other instrument of choice were quite common right up until I was almost 19 years old.
My mom did try to eat healthy and she exposed me to a huge criety of foods from other cultures. We ate from scratch or at least at home since we were relatively poor.
My mom was a SAHM (she cleaned houses and took me with her)

My dad....eh, he worked and paid the bills. I don't remember him saying much about how i was raised other than wanting my mom to homeschool me, which she did.

I guess I just view "crunchy" as a peaceful, happy, freer way of living. And my lifestyl growing up was anything but, so even though some of the halmarks were tere, like breastfeeding, it didn't feel very "crunchy" to me.

[aquarius aspiring]

I answered "Not at all".



 

Edited by aquarius aspiring - 12/31/11 at 5:47pm

[thatgirliknew]

I was raised by 5 different family members (I literally went from house to house for about 15 years). NONE of them were the least bit crunchy. lol

My mom and dad raised me together until my mom died at age 3. Mom was very mainstream; formula, disposable diapers, vax, playpens, etc.

When my mom died, 5 people started caring for me: my dad, my sister, my aunt, and both of my grandmas.

All of them were very mainstream. My aunt and dad are very materialistic ("Why aren't you happy, I bought you ____?" = Money buys happiness)

But when I was at my aunt's or paternal grandma's house, it was very free-range. I was allowed to come and go as I pleased, bike ride around the neighborhood, climb trees, visit neighbors, come home when the street lights come on kinda thing.