very upset w/school - Page 4

[vbactivist]

Originally Posted by SpringMom

Middle School teacher here. I think it is also important to note that in the OP's experience, it was the school, not the teacher, who requested no drop-in's. I am not a fan of drop-in's unless it has been pre-arranged. I have been, too often, caught off-gaurd by a parent coming into my room to bring Johnny his backback and then want to talk to me about grades, family issues, curriculum questions, etc... I am a great teacher and even I can't keep 6th-graders on task while conferencing with a parent. It also creeps me out that strangers are wandering the campus with no pass or escort.

What if you have no choice but to send your kids to public school, AND you felt it might be a harmful environment? Shouldn't a parent int hat situation be able to "check in"?

Did any of you see the moive "Waiting for Superman"? THere was one family where the mother sent note after note and left message after message for her child's teacher, and it was never responded to. SHould that mother not be allowed to just drop in and see what's going on in the classroom? There are some teachers that SHOULD be dropped in on.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

What if you have no choice but to send your kids to public school, AND you felt it might be a harmful environment? Shouldn't a parent int hat situation be able to "check in"?
if i ever felt we would be in that situation, my dd wouldnt be going to that school. i can see having a bad teacher, but not a 'harmful' environment. you DO have the right to change schools even if it would be a PITA to do it. that is the reason why dd was not in the neighbourhood school. the teachers were fine, but the kids werent - esp. the 5th and 6th grade kids. they really struggled to control the children.

however i would hate to police the class. and then what guarantee do you have that you would have 'seen' all. my dd's behaviour is the best litmus test of what's going on in the classroom.

Did any of you see the moive "Waiting for Superman"? THere was one family where the mother sent note after note and left message after message for her child's teacher, and it was never responded to. SHould that mother not be allowed to just drop in and see what's going on in the classroom? There are some teachers that SHOULD be dropped in on.

THAT is still not a reason to be dropped into unless that is your last resort. if the teacher is unresponsive by the second note i would be knocking at the principal's office.

however i will say dropping in depends on the teacher. this year the teacher does not want to be disturbed. last year he had no problems - unless you didnt show up at certain times.

woah its a sad thought to think that teachers need to be dropped into. if that was the case i'd have issues with the school allowing such behaviour from the teacher.

[mommy2maya]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

- EVERY school should be this way!

Really? My school has 700 kids from k-5, plus 15 various special education classrooms. If even a quarter of the parents decided to come early to pick up their kids from the classroom, it would be pure chaos.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by mommy2maya

Really? My school has 700 kids from k-5, plus 15 various special education classrooms. If even a quarter of the parents decided to come early to pick up their kids from the classroom, it would be pure chaos.

I'm with you.

I have a SN child who is mainstreamed, and she has enough problems without the other parents trotting around the building, attempting parenting/teacher conferences during class time.

If I had a problem with a teacher who was unresponsive, I would talk to the principal. I've never had that happen. My kids have had WONDERFUL teachers. I feel truly blessed. Teachers do a difficult and often thankless job. I do everything I can to be SUPPORTIVE of them.

If you want to know what is going on at your child's school, then get involved! If you have time to *spy* then you have time to help.

[mommy2maya]

Not to mention *I* as a parent would not feel comfortable with hundreds of random parents roaming the halls are pick up time! Our school is very orderly in general- the kids line up in the mornings and their safeties walk each individual class to their room. At dismissal, the classroom teachers walk them back to their outside lines, and dismiss from there, to a parent or other authorized person. It works quite well and parents have an opportunity to talk with the teacher at that time.

Not to mention, I am picking up several children at the same time- would I just traipse around the school and pick each one up? No way would that be efficient for me or the teachers!

[oaktreemama]

My Mom is a teacher at an alternative type school and I asked her about this thread.

She said that volunteers are always welcome but that drop ins are discouraged. She said that some parents feel they can drop in and interrupt the class, pull the teacher aside and talk about little Jimmy's problems. One parent came to drop something off (skipped right by the office) and started a long and loud cell phone call in the middle of class.

Drop ins are a huge distraction and some parents simply have no clue about being quiet and unobtrusive.

Again-volunteering-AWESOME. Drop ins at any old random time? Not so awesome.

[karne]

I have to say that my feeling is that my child is in school, and should be able to be there without the interruption of other parents who feel they need to check in with their kids during the school day, or monitor the teachers actions in an underhanded way. It's not fair to my child, or really to any of the kids. Most kids of elem age need consistency, which would be tough to do with random drop in of many parents. The school day is not for the parents, it's for the kids. I want my child to have their teacher's attention. I say this as a former h'schooler. If I couldn't separate enough to be able to let my child attend school without me, I'd do something different.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by meemee

OP so you want to just enter the class and sit and watch?

isnt that rather odd?

come on at K that would be hugely distracting to the kids. your child will want to come give you a hug, the other kids would go shh shh shh look that's xxx's mommy. if you know one of the other kids they'd like to come over and say hi. so even if the teacher doesnt allow any of that... the kids do get distracted. by whoever comes in.

When ds was in K he had significant behavior issues and if it looked like ds was going to have a bad day, his teacher wanted me to stay an hour or so, and...I was a distraction--the children pretty much behaved like you described. It was also a problem in the lunchroom (permitted to any parent but encouraged to me by his teacher); it was like having paparazzi. I would have to say that it was nice to see them, but I was here to visit with ds.

[pinksprklybarefoot]

The differences between schools are funny. The few times that I have had to drop things off for my stepdaughter, I have gone to the office at her school. The secretary is so overworked that she always asks if I can just bring it up to the classroom, which I do.

It is a disruption, though. The whole class screeches to a halt, then the kids get hyper and start jumping around. Even eating lunch at school can be a distraction - DSD's mom used to do it weekly and it could cause tears when she left/worry about when she was going to arrive/disappointment if she couldn't make it. I know this wasn't unique to DSD from what other parents told me.

DH does not go to DSD's school unless there is a program that parents are invited to because he knows the distraction that it causes. Come to think of it, those don't go so well, either. Two of the "book publishing" parties we attended last year ended up with DSD in tears, having to be taken out into the hallway. AFAIK, the one that no one was able to make it to went off without a hitch.

[straighthaircurly]

Originally Posted by pinksprklybarefoot

The differences between schools are funny. The few times that I have had to drop things off for my stepdaughter, I have gone to the office at her school. The secretary is so overworked that she always asks if I can just bring it up to the classroom, which I do.

It is a disruption, though. The whole class screeches to a halt, then the kids get hyper and start jumping around. Even eating lunch at school can be a distraction - DSD's mom used to do it weekly and it could cause tears when she left/worry about when she was going to arrive/disappointment if she couldn't make it. I know this wasn't unique to DSD from what other parents told me.

Maybe schools need to teach parents how to be unobtrusive in the classroom. Give them guidelines of when and how to approach the teacher, ways they can be involved in their child's class in a positive way, etc.

Personally I have no trouble being unobtrusive in my kid's class. Monday DS was home sick in the morning but after lunch I felt he was energetic enough to be back in the classroom. When I dropped him off he started whining that his head hurt so I promised I would come back in 1 hour and see how he was doing. At the appointed time I checked in at the office, stepped into his classroom quietly in the middle of a social studies lesson. I quietly asked him if he was doing okay and stepped back out. The teacher and the other kids didn't miss a beat! The teacher kept talking, a couple kids glanced up but their eyes went right back to the teacher. I didn't try to talk to the teacher and I stayed very briefly. If I had been dropping off lunch, it would have been even easier since the cubby room is just inside the classroom door. If I had wanted to observe his classroom for longer I could have done so unobtrusively from the commons area right outside the door.