Getting feedback #2

[Tigerle]

I am looking at the local private Montessori elementary for DS.

At the open house, they had a teacher give a half-hour talk about their methods to interested parents. There is only one "report card" at the end of the year, but at the end of the fall semester they write a letter to the child about the child's progress. Smiling, she said that some parents seem to mind a little if the child chooses not show them the letter, but that it is all about responsibility and respect and taking the child's work seriously and stuff. Though I didn't ask to clarify, I got the impression that if I asked the school to see the letter in such a case, they'd refuse.

It kinda rubbed me the wrong way.
I was thinking that if I wanted to know, for whatever reason, what my child was told in that letter and my child wouldn't show it to me, I should be entitled to see a copy. We are talking about six year olds here. It is still the parent's primary responsibility to look after the child and to make sure the child is happy and learning - unloading all of that responsibility on a child's shoulders is too much IMO.

Am I just not cut out for a Montessori parent?

[MattBronsil]

I'd ask what types of communication they keep between you, the parent, and the teachers. Working with students is a group effort. The parents NEED to be involved and the schools have to involve them in updates on what is going on.

I would ask how they do that. It's OK to write a separate letter to the students...and I think that's a good idea. But the parents certainly need to know what is happening.

[Tigerle]

Thanks! I take it you agree that I ought to know what they have to say about my child, and to my child, even though I do not necessarily have to read the letter, and that it is worth pursuing the matter to see whether I would feel comfortable with the routines of communication? I think I would be alright being told the gist...though if there were any other interaction between a teacher and my child I felt I wanted to know about and my child wouldn't or couldn't tell me, I wouldn't take no from a teacher either.
It just appeared to me that there seemed to be a bit of an attitude to hold parents at arms length - on the other hand, in responding to a question about class composition, they invited me to come observe in the classroom any Monday I liked.
Hmm. I think I'll do so - so far I'm going back and forth liking and not liking what I see and hear. It's a lot to learn.

[carmel23]

Well, there is a lot of emphasis on the freedom and that it is the child's environment. It is their learning, and so they are in charge of it. I think parents can pressure their kids to try to do certain things (and I am guilty of it as well, see my thread on upper el and writing ).

But at the end of the day, it really is my son's report card, and he can show it to me or not. He owns it.