How do we ask non-relatives to be guardian?

[germin8]

In a previous post, I asked about how one selects a guardian. Now, I'm wondering how you go about asking non-relatives to be your guardian!

We (my DH & I) do not really have best friends. We have each other really... and I could say my DH has a couple close friends who have come out of their way to see our baby. But yet, we may decide to select friends that we don't contact too often... yet, they are still like family.

So, how do we go about telling them we would like them to be our guardian?

PART I Questions:
Do we write a letter? Do we call over the phone? Do we make a special trip to meet and ask them in person? (We plan to select a guardian, plus 2 backups, so that would be A LOT OF TRIPS... and I am kinda hoping to avoid that, if we can still ask the right way.

Help us!

PART II Question:
Should we explain to them why we c/wouldn't select our own family as guardians?

[pianojazzgirl]

If it were me I'd probably just call and talk to them. I'd start by explaining why I'd chosen them, and if they asked why I wasn't asking any family members then I'd explain that.

[philomom]

Take them to dinner and as dinner winds down... pause for effect and just ask. They should politely ask for time to think about it and say they are honored that you thought of them. Expect a call in a few day's time with a yes or no. Either way, keep it nice but factual. You still want to be friends with them if they say no.

[zinemama]

If they're far away, I'd just call and ask. Definitely frame it as, "We'd like you to consider this, we don't want to put you on the spot, take your time and think it over."

There is no reason to get into why you aren't asking family members unless they specifically ask.

[germin8]

Thanks everyone. I think we will call for some... and (where possible) meet in person with others.

[lifeguard]

We did it with a phone call, partly because of the distance but also because we wanted to give them time to truly talk about themselves & make the decision of whether it was something they were up for. We didn't want to put them on the spot to give us an answer right now or look excited/honoured?, etc.

We did explain our reasons to our guardian selections & to our family (so that if the awful happened there wouldn't be surprises or fighting).

[crunchy_mommy]

Subbing because we are considering choosing friends (but not really BEST friends, in fact we've only known them a short time but feel they are the best choice) as backup guardians.

Do you HAVE to tell them? I mean, no one is going to force them to take my child should the unthinkable happen, right? They could say no? I guess I just feel like telling everyone will create undue drama and it's not likely that there will ever be a need for those guardians anyway... Maybe I'm nuts here lol...