My 4.5 y.o. son easily learned to use the potty when he was 25 months old. It was an "issue-free" situation for us both. Over the last 2 months, however, he has pooped in his pants several times. In the last 7 days, he has done it 5 times. It usually happens while he is playing outside or at preschool. He also chooses to pee outside 95% of the time, which he is allowed to do.
Ealier this week, after having to wash 4 pairs of pants in as many days, I decided he will have to wear undies all the time so that at least I am not washing pants all the time. (Historically, I've let him "go commando" as it is easier to pull up pants w/o undies.) Well, today, while playing outside w/o me, he pooped then scooped it out of his undies and threw it in our neighbor's yard. When moments later I came to get him for lunch, he told me we needed to clean his undies as he had pooped. I happily took him in the bathroom to clean him up, glad to have put undies on him. When we got in the house, however, he told me that he had taken some poop out. His hands and clothes had poop on them from where he wiped his hands. YUCK.
I lost it. I feel so overwhelmed with mothering, taking care of our home, taking care of my health (I have rheumatoid arthritis), and dealing with a husband who works 60-70hrs/wk w/o a set schedule. I admit shamefully, that I called my son disgusting. I feel terrible about it and have apologized to him, clarifying that my name calling was not ok and that while I don't like cleaning his poop up, he isn't disgusting. I just was taken over by my reaction and reacted badly.
I just feel like he wants to do so much, have so much control. And I want control. I just want to be able to do my chores, and not constantly follow him outside. He is an on-the-go kid, and we live in a cohousing community where we KNOW all our neighbors. So he ALWAYS wants to be outisde. But I still like to be with him because sometimes he will get out landscaping tools stored near our community garden, or swing a shovel at a tree and accidentally hurt it. I just feel like he is a lot of life force that demands a certain amount of attention, and that for his first 3 years I was ok with giving him that. And now, I want a kid who can self-entertain w/o getting out dangerous tools, or making a lake of mud, or picking yet another unripe pomegranate to see if it's ripe yet.
I am just losing it. Losing my patience with all of his testing. Losing my mind with feeling like I need to do my tasks, but making sure he isn't making some mess or hurting some aspect of the landscaping. And now worrying about if he is pooping in his pants.
I really get that I am trying to control him, or maybe I just feel controlling b/c he is so independent. Maybe he is reacting to my attempts to preempt his acting out. It feels terrible. I am off center, and out of control. Please let me know what I need to do. I feel like my son and I are in some weird control or power struggle that we are both losing. It is horrible, and I always feel on edge.
Thanks for any recommendations. I really need help.
Jenna
Ealier this week, after having to wash 4 pairs of pants in as many days, I decided he will have to wear undies all the time so that at least I am not washing pants all the time. (Historically, I've let him "go commando" as it is easier to pull up pants w/o undies.) Well, today, while playing outside w/o me, he pooped then scooped it out of his undies and threw it in our neighbor's yard. When moments later I came to get him for lunch, he told me we needed to clean his undies as he had pooped. I happily took him in the bathroom to clean him up, glad to have put undies on him. When we got in the house, however, he told me that he had taken some poop out. His hands and clothes had poop on them from where he wiped his hands. YUCK.
I lost it. I feel so overwhelmed with mothering, taking care of our home, taking care of my health (I have rheumatoid arthritis), and dealing with a husband who works 60-70hrs/wk w/o a set schedule. I admit shamefully, that I called my son disgusting. I feel terrible about it and have apologized to him, clarifying that my name calling was not ok and that while I don't like cleaning his poop up, he isn't disgusting. I just was taken over by my reaction and reacted badly.
I just feel like he wants to do so much, have so much control. And I want control. I just want to be able to do my chores, and not constantly follow him outside. He is an on-the-go kid, and we live in a cohousing community where we KNOW all our neighbors. So he ALWAYS wants to be outisde. But I still like to be with him because sometimes he will get out landscaping tools stored near our community garden, or swing a shovel at a tree and accidentally hurt it. I just feel like he is a lot of life force that demands a certain amount of attention, and that for his first 3 years I was ok with giving him that. And now, I want a kid who can self-entertain w/o getting out dangerous tools, or making a lake of mud, or picking yet another unripe pomegranate to see if it's ripe yet.
I am just losing it. Losing my patience with all of his testing. Losing my mind with feeling like I need to do my tasks, but making sure he isn't making some mess or hurting some aspect of the landscaping. And now worrying about if he is pooping in his pants.
I really get that I am trying to control him, or maybe I just feel controlling b/c he is so independent. Maybe he is reacting to my attempts to preempt his acting out. It feels terrible. I am off center, and out of control. Please let me know what I need to do. I feel like my son and I are in some weird control or power struggle that we are both losing. It is horrible, and I always feel on edge.
Thanks for any recommendations. I really need help.
Jenna
