If you could only SAH for 3 years of your kid's life....

[texmati]

which 3 would it be?

I know this sounds like one of those 'would you ever...' questions, but this looks like my reality.

I know it seems like it should be a no brainer-- the first 3. But I remember wishing my mom was home during our elementary school time. It was just so hectic, and it seemed like those kids with volunteer mom's got a little leg up.

But i've heard some people say that the years to focus on your kids is highschool/middle school...

[cappuccinosmom]

The first three.

I wished my mom was home when I was in school too. But...to me, the first three years are so tremendously formative that I would want to be there, not to mention breastfeeding and co-sleeping and just the ability to go with the baby's flow rather than be bound to a work schedule.

[southernmommie]

Why only 3?

[puddle]

Definitely the first three. Besides, there's no way to predict the future. If it seems like only 3 years is possible now, you may find that circumstances change at some point in the future allowing more years later. It would be a shame to miss those precious first years and then find out that you could have stayed home for those plus many more. Also, you might end up missing the first 3 years anticipating staying home later in elementary school, only to find that it's no longer possible to stay home at all and you missed your only chance.

[mamazee]

The first three. Makes bf easier, and during the separation anxiety stage, and until they're pretty verbal.

[PoetryLover]

Another vote for the first 3. Good luck!

[KempsMama]

I agree with the first three. Those are the years that you establish the bound that will get them through the rest of their childhood.

[happysmileylady]

I have a 14 year old, a 2 year old and a 6 week old. And I can say that I would choose ages 15, 16, and 17. I think way too many people discount how much teens need their parents. Not to mention that at 18(ish) they are out the door at college, it's the last chance you get to really get to know your kid as a person before they are moving on.

[*bejeweled*]

The first 3. I believe they establish the foundation. In the future, even if you don't SAH, you can always try to work a schedule where you're able to be at home for them afterschool.

[zinemama]

The first three. It's so much easier to be stressed out, exhausted, grumpy, unshowered and covered with spit-up when you don't actually have to be anywhere in particular.

[texmati]

Originally Posted by zinemama

The first three. It's so much easier to be stressed out, exhausted, grumpy, unshowered and covered with spit-up when you don't actually have to be anywhere in particular.

lol!!!

I've already worked most of DS first year-- in fact, my dd is due almost a year exactly to the date that I went back back to work with DS, so it really will be a year of working, if I SAH after dd is born.

I just was remembering how hectic elementary was when I was growing up, and really, I have no memory of the first 4-5 years.

But as PP said, you never know what might happen in the future. Also our calculations were done with the childcare savings in mind; and I do feel like kids get more expensive as they hit school age.

[dakotablue]

first three, I have a mother I used to work with whose twins had regressive autism. She said that she is so grateful she had those first two years of happy dances and language before her kids regressed and wouldn't give those up for the world. (she still loves them, but life was simpler)

You never know what will happen, but what she said really stuck with me.

[phathui5]

Can you break it up or does it have to be three in a row?

I'd do the first year, then kindergarten, then age 12 or 13.

[katelove]

Another vote for the first 3 here on the grounds that you are building foundations if not recallable memories. That said though, I have a job which will allow me to work primarily during school hours so that may colour my perception.

[Drummer's Wife]

Absolutely the first 3 years. I plan to, however, be home when my kids get out of school (it helps that they don't get off the bus until 4:15) as they get older. I think unless you homeschool, most preteens/teens are going to be gone for 7+ hours a day, and more when they have extracurricular activities after school or want to do things with friends. So, I guess it just seems tons easier to still 'be there for them' as they get older, even if you work full-time. Not so easy with a 3 yr old who goes to school 3 hours a day, though. I've been a SAHM for 10 years (4 kids), and ideally I think the first 5 years would be the most helpful.

[Dukey25]

I would say the first three beacuse they are non verbal (for the most part)It is the only way you have any idea of what is going on. Also I do think it is very important to bond etc. That being said if I would prefer ages 6,7,8 because the child is more independent, rational and we could do a lot of fun things. Plus they would still think I am cool.

[Harmony08]

Definitely, definitely the first three. It is all about attachment psychology. This is where you lay the foundation for who your child is and what your relationship is. Sure you can always mess it up later but it seems to me it is better to make the most of those first three years and do everything you can to make sure your kids have a healthy secure attachment that they can take with them for the rest of their lives.

[Ahavati]

I think the first 3 are absolutely the most important.

[no5no5]

I think it depends on your kids, your relationship with them, and what will make you happiest and most fulfilled. That might mean the first 3 years, or it might not.

[ekh]

I've worked through my babies' infancies full-time while my husband was part-time, and, in retrospect, it would have been MUCH easier on me had I been home during that night-waking time. I was just so very very sleep deprived and really unable to have quality time with my 2 in the evenings, either. It's much better now that they are both over 1 year. My 2 1/2 y.o. is a lot more verbal about missing me now, so I think it would really mean a lot to her now if I were home. I'm not, though, except for the summers. I think the best best thing would be to stay home for the first year and then work part-time.